This is what i've come to realize about this issue. I must understand and accept myself first before i can ask the same of anyone else. I can't impose my thoughts or desires on anyone, meaning that i can't reduce someone's value to how i see them, although i may disagree, and rightfully so if appropriate, with their thoughts or actions. They shouldn't need to prove their value to me nor I them, but from mutual interest, respect, and love for each other, we would probably want to be the best person we can be for each other, as long as we're not sacrificing individual worths in the process.
Growing up, it was expected of us to work hard and prove ourselves to deserve anyone's respect much less attention. And it was never enough. Despite the effort to prove over and over that you were good, etc. there was always something which made you feel as if you're not measuring up. It makes you question whether anything you do will ever be good enough. Because of this, I'm a bit reluctant to support any view which says I must prove my "worth" to anyone. If i care for someone, I will try to be the best person I can be for the relationship, but if i have to distort myself into all sorts of shapes just to make someone happy, it ain't gonna happen. I've sacrificed quite a bit of who i am over the years in an effort to become more acceptable or at least accessible to others, but it suppressed who i was. Now, as time passes, i've let go or at least worked on letting go of these beliefs. There will always be something to work on or improve but this is better coming from within, not from someone telling us what's wrong or needs to change, in most cases at least.
Growing up, it was expected of us to work hard and prove ourselves to deserve anyone's respect much less attention. And it was never enough. Despite the effort to prove over and over that you were good, etc. there was always something which made you feel as if you're not measuring up. It makes you question whether anything you do will ever be good enough. Because of this, I'm a bit reluctant to support any view which says I must prove my "worth" to anyone. If i care for someone, I will try to be the best person I can be for the relationship, but if i have to distort myself into all sorts of shapes just to make someone happy, it ain't gonna happen. I've sacrificed quite a bit of who i am over the years in an effort to become more acceptable or at least accessible to others, but it suppressed who i was. Now, as time passes, i've let go or at least worked on letting go of these beliefs. There will always be something to work on or improve but this is better coming from within, not from someone telling us what's wrong or needs to change, in most cases at least.
