Self Analysis Intrinsicly Selfish? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Self Analysis Intrinsicly Selfish?

I feel exactly the way that you do, and I couldn't have described it any better. I'm always thinking about me, trying to understand myself, what I want, how I feel about something, relating the things that I am trying to understand to me, somehow. And then I feel very self-centered for it, but, like you said, it is so second-nature for me to live so entirely in the world inside my brain.

I do think it can be a bad thing. Obviously, or I wouldn't feel guilty about it. But I think it can also be a good thing. For example, I really think I'd be the last person to experience an identity crisis.

I actually didn't realize that I was doing this until a couple of years ago, though. It sounds so simple, but I was in the supermarket one day and getting really irritated at the fact that I couldn't get to what I needed and I was in a rush. The thing is, everyone else there was in a rush, too, but all I could think about was how annoying it was for me. I wasn't thinking of the people around me as people, just obstacles. But I like to think about it like being in a supermarket. People walk past you, bump up against you, get in your way and you stop thinking about them once they are out of your sight and their actions no longer directly affect you. But they continue to exist, even if you never see them again, and they have an entirely separate version of the world inside their heads, too. They don't exist only to be periphery characters in the chronicles of my life. I have to remove myself sometimes and just keep reminding myself that it's not just me. That's what helps me, but I don't know if it'll help you as I feel I haven't explained myself very well, and it's probably too personal, anyway.

And, I mean, I just keep going back and forth between the above and being so self-focused. I don't know if there's another way. I can't just stop being me, so ... I don't have a solution. I just have to keep reminding myself how ridiculous I'm being at times.
 
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Morgain said:
really good!

I'm going to turn your question around Indigo. I think that spending time to others, doing thinks to others is selfish in my case. Because when I stop self analysis and go in the world without my own values, I mimic there values (like Reon said). I do what I'm suppost to do, give them what they ask from me, do all the right things to be considered caring and loving. But to me it is all fake. I do it for my own good, to be liked and to be loved. But it is all empty. It is only when I search within me what my values are, when I love myself and accept myself for who I am, that I can make a positive contribution to others. What I do for others is only powerful and really helpful when I do it out of what I stand for! It is a contradiction, I love contradictions :becky:

I don't know if this rambling is understandable :D
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cool, i neve thought of it like that
 
xizzax said:
Yes, a bit selfish... but as our fellow INTP friend says: it's better to know your motivations and reasons for doing things than living in ignorance.

and i also agree with Restraint about everything in moderation. I'm trying more and more know to apply what I've learned about human behavior (from analysing myself) and using it to aid others.
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Hmm, darn, I was hoping the answer to Indigo's question was "no, it's not selfish" since I've been rather worrying about the same thing myself. hehe. Oh well, I think xizzax and Restraint are right.
 
Another thing, I think it must depend on the situation. Younger people in our culture are sort of expected to spend time figuring themselves out, so maybe it's healthier at a younger age? But I agree with others who said there are people who do too little self-analysis who could benefit from a lot of it at any age. I think there are times when it's helpful for me to do more of it than at other times.
 
under skies said:
I just keep going back and forth between the above and being so self-focused. I don't know if there's another way. I can't just stop being me, so ... I don't have a solution. I just have to keep reminding myself how ridiculous I'm being at times.
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You are wise. :nod:
 
Restraint said:
It's like the saying, "everything in moderation" (The Bible). I think it's been good to learn more about self in terms of strengths and weaknesses, but sometimes self analysis can go too far and lead to self indulgence. I've realized, at least in my case, that i can become too involved with the idea and process of continued self analysis that my attention becomes overly focused on me, and the effect is that i don't give enough attention to others things which are more important because i'm spending too much time thinking about how i process a situation and the way it affects me. So, taken too far, self analysis can become a selfish enterprise. But self analysis is not inherently selfish. Of course, it allows us to grow and learn, but in moderation.
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+1.

Because the opposites are not good either; living for others and not sparing any single thought for oneself. Next, you're tattooed with "WELCOME" on your back.

I think it's best to keep it at the middle, with exact variations depending on each person.
 
People need to think of themselves. Not only of themselves, but yes, everyone does it, and needs to in order to function. I suppose pure selfishness is what we as humans try to avoid.

In addition, I think that pure selflessness (often selflessness is seen in a positive light), can be very destructive, actually, leaving one empty and void of individuality.

Bottom line, between the two moderation is key.

(Well, this was probably redundant as I did not read all the replies.)
 
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I am EXACTLY like this, and I do the exact same thing and feel the same way!

I can't help but analyze myself and I get GREAT joy out of figuring things out about myself and I just love to talk to people about ME. And I feel like a Selfish Self-Centered Bitch for always wanting to talk about ME ME ME, but I also feel like I don't get to talk about ME enough and that I wish that other people wanted to hear about ME more. And then I feel selfish for thinking that.... :(

I don't really feel guilt for spending time self-analyzing, this is MY life and MY journey, and that self discovery is part of my path. And I still help other people and dedicate lots of my time to volunteering and such, so I am not so wrapped up in myself that I am not having a positive effect on others. And by understanding myself I have shown other people how to have a better understanding of THEMselves by inspiring them to dig deep like I do. So that is nice.

But, still, in basic conversation I need to learn to stop talking about ME ME ME so much. Once before I went to a therapist so that I could pay someone to just listen to me talk about me and listen to me figure me out, because I felt that I was talking other people's ears off. They never told me that, but I just felt like that and it made me feel horrible. But I NEEDED to talk about me, so I thought the therapist was a perfect solution, but she was like "Why are you HERE? There's nothing wrong with you.....you are far smarter, more mature, and more well-balanced than people your age......you don't need therapy" and I was like FUCK! The jig is up!!! lol. So I stopped going....guess talking about myself was even a waste of a therapist's time.
 
myst said:
Another thing, I think it must depend on the situation. Younger people in our culture are sort of expected to spend time figuring themselves out, so maybe it's healthier at a younger age? But I agree with others who said there are people who do too little self-analysis who could benefit from a lot of it at any age. I think there are times when it's helpful for me to do more of it than at other times.
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OOOOoooo- good point Myst!

<3
 
Hotkebab said:
I don't believe its selfish to analize yourself. I believe its a very good thing to do.
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I believe that it IS selfish to analyze oneself and ALSO that it is a good thing to do. You guys talk about thinking of yourselves as though it's a sin.

Selfishness isn't necessarily bad, selflessness isn't necessarily good, and vice versa. If you've tied too much negativity to the word "selfish" then just use "self-interest".

T seems to be inclined towards Rational Self-Interest
F seems to be inclined towards Emotional Altruism

Neither T nor F is better than the other, so why should selfishness or selflessness be better? The best is a balance. It's impossible to be the best Altruistic person you can without being selfish, at least some of the time.
 
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But I NEEDED to talk about me, so I thought the therapist was a perfect solution, but she was like "Why are you HERE? There's nothing wrong with you.....you are far smarter, more mature, and more well-balanced than people your age......you don't need therapy"
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THAT's a pretty good compliment!

Crabby Lil Me said:
and I was like FUCK! The jig is up!!! lol. So I stopped going....guess talking about myself was even a waste of a therapist's time.
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Ouch. Eh, you were just better at it than she was of course. :) It is odd how our culture's solution to personal problems is to go to a therapist and focus on the problem. I dunno. Sometimes it works. And I'm still faithful to the idea of it even though 90% of the time it doesn't work :) I'm really glad at least we INFJs like posting to each other about our issues and understanding each other.
 
i don't think it's selfish. i actually think it's pretty important. i know it's made me a more self-aware and confident person, and when i used to spend a considerable amount of my time introspecting i often felt it was selfish, but selfishness wasn't going to make me stop doing it. in fact, i probably spent a lot of time justifying my selfishness, eventually accepting that it was only part of being human.

it felt selfish at the time, and maybe it was, but i think it was necessary.
 
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I'm exactly like this. I think I have two halves. One half of me is immersed in the hows and the whys of my actions, and the other half is the one who keeps on pulling me back and scolding me for bordering on self-absorption.

Actually, thinking about it, it's not really halves. More like 3/4 self-analysis, 1/4 shame.

My (highly dramatized) internal conflicts are as follows.

Oh, why did I let Jenny-Sue manipulate me into taking my lunch money? Why do I let others step all over me? Why? Why? Why?

Stop being so self-absorbed, please. Other people have it worse.

Why do I always question myself? Why do I question my own actions? Other people are perfectly content in accepting their thoughts and emotions as they come, so why is it that I must analyze them? Why am I even analyzing why I analyze myself?

Really, please stop. You don't HAVE to analyze yourself, you know. Instead, you could be analyzing others' problems! Go altruism!

You know what? Maybe it's just in my nature. Maybe I should just be more accepting of myself. Maybe hedonism isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. I don't think it's even hedonism, exactly.

*gunshot*

*thud*
 
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