Savage Garden | INFJ Forum

Savage Garden

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Kwistalline, Jun 3, 2008.

Share This Page

More threads by Kwistalline
  1. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    In their song, "Affirmation", they sing "I believe you can't appreciate real love till you've been burned".
    For some reason I got into a discussion with my roomy about this. I disagree that you have to experience pain before appreciating real love. What do you think?
     
  2. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 23, 2008
    Threads:
    78
    Messages:
    4,253
    Likes Received:
    165
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Enneagram:
    Love the words to that song and I agree with them.

    Never felt true love :cry: when I've ended any relationship I've never felt a big loss, yes I can withdraw emotionally, but I am emotional below the surface.

    Personally I don't feel I can appreciate it until I feel it. How can I understand an emotion I've never experienced?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Cannot each personality type take on and appreciate love differently? I realize Savage Garden is talking about Romantic love, so I'm probably stretching my objections a bit, but I don't believe that true love must be romantic love. For me, love is something that transcends the material and ascends to a level of idealism we INFJ's value so much . . .

    For me, love is self sacrifice, loving the object more than the self, wanting the best for the object in spite of how the object of that love may feel for the one who loves. Even, at times, willing to risk the relationship in order for the object to recieve what is best for them (like the love of a parent for their child).

    I think true love does not expect love in return, therefore it does not need to be rejected in order to be appreciated. Simply knowing that the object of your love is happy and well provided for is enough . . .

    Yeah, I guess I'm taking it a bit far. But I have also not experienced that feeling, nor do I wish to. I have the love of God to supply all my needs, the epitome of all I have described above . . . and I've never doubted it. I suppose that's really why I don't like that particular phrasing. It doesn't account for my personality. We are not all the same.
     
  4. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 23, 2008
    Threads:
    78
    Messages:
    4,253
    Likes Received:
    165
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Enneagram:
    Sorry, I should probably hang back for some other responces before answering serious questions because I'm not an INFJ.

    As an INTJ I don't know the feeling therefore I don't think I can understand it. You see what I'm saying. But one exception shows the rule. If you say you haven't experianced it and yet believe you can understand it then that is your exception.

    Maybe this is a feeler v thinker dilema?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Possible. But, again, I'm being technical. He stated "true love", not "romantic love". It's semantics. I know what he meant, but I'm not sure I agree. I know many couples who weren't "burned" before becoming couples, and who have stayed together for years . . .
    I guess I've just never felt deserving of love, so it's incredible to me that I'm loved anyway! . . . that came out way more negative than I expected it to! But that's how I see it. Worldview?
     
  6. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    3,866
    Likes Received:
    222
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    The closest I've come to experiencing true love was when each of my babies were born. I was filled to the top with love and there wasn't room for anything else. It was the most exquisite love and it was a spiritual high like Kwiss was saying too. Awesome, innocent and pure.
    The love stays but the intensity wavers over time. True sustaining love seems to elude us all. Even Mother Teresa had some very bad, bad days!
    I know love conquers all, deep in my heart I know that is absolutely true. Maybe it's not love that's tricky, maybe it's just the feelings/emotions that keep getting in its way. Maybe that is why INFJ's look cold and distant at times. Searching for true love while not displaying 'appropriate' emotions. I can see how that could confuse people.
    *Mental Note to Self - Do not confuse people.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    3,866
    Likes Received:
    222
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    I think I've fought feeling that way my entire life. Why oh why do we feel undeserving?? It doesn't make sense to me. Did someone brainwash us into thinking that way? Everyone we know and love think we deserve love and we know it logically so where does it come from. People say it's a lack of self-confidence but I don't agree with that at all. Others say it's a snobbishness or a better than thou attitude but again I say no.
    I've learned to not show that glitch in my armour but it's definitely there humming along, that little chant that keeps one down.

    Does everybody else feel deserving of love?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. Motor Jax

    Motor Jax randomness included
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    1,830
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    112
    Trophy Points:
    621
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Random
    oh, i was listening to Truly, Madly, Deeply this morning on my bike ride to work
     
  9. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Great song!! For some reason, it makes me think of Red Hot chili Peppers "tell me baby", which is also great, but not really a thing of substance . . .
     
  10. sriv

    sriv Community Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Threads:
    8
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    IxTJ
    I think I fear love. :?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Awww, you'll find it someday. You aren't entirely repulsive ;)
     
  12. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 23, 2008
    Threads:
    78
    Messages:
    4,253
    Likes Received:
    165
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Enneagram:
    Wicked, now I know how to scare Sriv :twisted:


    I wub you :p
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. littlesapling

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    *chuckles* i don't think it's love you fear, i think it's other people's intentions...since your a tj. and you know what they say about tj's being the one in control. :eek:P but don't worry... real love is rare...and doesn't harm...only when people abuse their powers... love stings due to the uninjustice.

    "how could you!?" moments.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...

Share This Page