Rules For Life :Don't Screw These Up Or It'll Bite You!

[Chessie]

I made a post a few months ago about rules for living and since then my list of rules has expanded a little. I wanted to share the new list and see about people's responses. Tell me how you've changed and if you've added rules to yours. Maybe critique mine.

Chessie's rules for life.

1.Life Is Once. You Don't Get A Refund If You Fuck It Up.

2.Loved Ones Come First. Keep In Mind, Loved Ones Act Like They Love You. Or not.

3.Don't Stick Your Dick In Crazy (or vice versa)

4.If You're Certain, You're Already Wrong.

5.If At Any Point The Job Makes You Want To Kill Yourself, Quit That Instant.

6.You're Just A Human Being.

7.Give Until It Hurts. Don't Give Until It Requires Major Surgery To Repair.

8.There Is A Statutory Limit On Your Brain Damage.

9.Don't Believe Everything You Think.

10.Family And Blood Are Two Different Things.

11.Fantasy Is Free. Reality Is Expensive.

12.If You Gloat, Someone Will Take You Down.

13.Fortune Doesn't Favor Anyone. If You Succeed It Was Because You Tried.

14.Take Me As I Am Or Fuck Off.

15.If you aren't prepared to change it then you aren't allowed to complain about it.

16.If you don't know where you are then it doesn't matter where you're going.

17.Do your research. If you don't know what you're getting into then you won't know how to get out of it.

18.Don't take life personally.

19.Don't ever follow your heart. Follow your head. People who say follow your heart are following a muscle in their chests that is connected tightly to a muscle in their groin.

 

[This]

11.Fantasy Is Free. Reality Is Expensive.

Don't worry fantasy can be very expensive, visit a strip club some time XD.

 

[Free Mind]

I agree with 15 A LOT! xD Only in some situations though of course. ^_^

 

[donkeybals]

I'm gonna challenge your belief on 12.

I'm awesome..

 

[Satya]

1.Life Is Once. You Don't Get A Refund If You Fuck It Up.

Fake your death.

2.Loved Ones Come First. Keep In Mind, Loved Ones Act Like They Love You. Or not.

Unless they ask you for money.

3.Don't Stick Your Dick In Crazy (or vice versa)

How attractive is this crazy and what kinds of things will it do that not crazy won't do?

4.If You're Certain, You're Already Wrong.

What if I am certain I am wrong?

5.If At Any Point The Job Makes You Want To Kill Yourself, Quit That Instant.

What if I decide I want to kill myself in the middle of performing brain surgery?

6.You're Just A Human Being.

Unless my mom fucked an alien. You never know.

7.Give Until It Hurts. Don't Give Until It Requires Major Surgery To Repair.

Sounds like sadism.

8.There Is A Statutory Limit On Your Brain Damage.

What does statutory mean?

9.Don't Believe Everything You Think.

Then what was the point of thinking it?

10.Family And Blood Are Two Different Things.

Which one can I give away to the Red Cross in exchange for cookies?

11.Fantasy Is Free. Reality Is Expensive.

As if I could tell the difference.

12.If You Gloat, Someone Will Take You Down.

I'll let you know if it happens.

13.Fortune Doesn't Favor Anyone. If You Succeed It Was Because You Tried.

Good thing I try really hard every day not to be struck by lightning.

14.Take Me As I Am Or Fuck Off.

Why can't I have a third option? How bout I go fuck someone better than you?

15.If you aren't prepared to change it then you aren't allowed to complain about it.

You voted for Obama, didn't ya?

16.If you don't know where you are then it doesn't matter where you're going.

I'm on a rock that is circling a ball of fire. Where exactly am I going?

17.Do your research. If you don't know what you're getting into then you won't know how to get out of it.

Or you could distort the research, dig in deep, and piss everyone off. That works even better.

18.Don't take life personally.

Whose life am I not suppose to take personally?

19.Don't ever follow your heart. Follow your head. People who say follow your heart are following a muscle in their chests that is connected tightly to a muscle in their groin.

I follow my stomach...cuz if I didn't I would die. Good luck with your heart or head or whatever.

 

[Chessie]

I love you Satya, but go die in a fire.

 

[Norton]

1.Life Is Once. You Don't Get A Refund If You Fuck It Up.

Yeah, except, when you're young, you have many chances to make mistakes along your path to success. Indeed without making mistakes, you'll know very little. It's a shame that, in our society, being wrong is so often harshly punished.

14.Take Me As I Am Or Fuck Off.

15.If you aren't prepared to change it then you aren't allowed to complain about it.

In a way, these contradict each other. If you're a jerk, you need to change or you'll stay a jerk and everyone will know it.

18.Don't take life personally.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't take life personally. But, when someone says to me, "Don't take it personally, but..." it's like they want a license to offend and insult me yet I'm not allowed to respond. To hell with that. I always take these kinds of statements personally, very personally. That's how they're meant and I respond strongly.

 

[Feelings]

I love you Satya, but go die in a fire.

nice.

 

[bonfire]

The one I find interesting is 16.If you don't know where you are then it doesn't matter where you're going. Is it an encouragement, a sarcasm, or an observation?

 

[Wyote]

Is it an encouragement, a sarcasm, or an observation?

Knowing Chessie it was probably all three.
That said, this thread is old and full of weird people who aren't here anymore lol.

 

[Asa]

I dig this list.

 

[Asa]

Also, all the old school peeps who aren't here anymore don't have trophy points.
"I'm so old school my trophy point is zero!"

 

[Lurk]

I made a post a few months ago about rules for living and since then my list of rules has expanded a little. I wanted to share the new list and see about people's responses. Tell me how you've changed and if you've added rules to yours. Maybe critique mine.

Chessie's rules for life.

1.Life Is Once. You Don't Get A Refund If You Fuck It Up.

2.Loved Ones Come First. Keep In Mind, Loved Ones Act Like They Love You. Or not.

3.Don't Stick Your Dick In Crazy (or vice versa)

4.If You're Certain, You're Already Wrong.

5.If At Any Point The Job Makes You Want To Kill Yourself, Quit That Instant.

6.You're Just A Human Being.

7.Give Until It Hurts. Don't Give Until It Requires Major Surgery To Repair.

8.There Is A Statutory Limit On Your Brain Damage.

9.Don't Believe Everything You Think.

10.Family And Blood Are Two Different Things.

11.Fantasy Is Free. Reality Is Expensive.

12.If You Gloat, Someone Will Take You Down.

13.Fortune Doesn't Favor Anyone. If You Succeed It Was Because You Tried.

14.Take Me As I Am Or Fuck Off.

15.If you aren't prepared to change it then you aren't allowed to complain about it.

16.If you don't know where you are then it doesn't matter where you're going.

17.Do your research. If you don't know what you're getting into then you won't know how to get out of it.

18.Don't take life personally.

19.Don't ever follow your heart. Follow your head. People who say follow your heart are following a muscle in their chests that is connected tightly to a muscle in their groin.

Quick, start selling trucker caps!

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

14. Take Me As I Am Or Fuck Off.
15. If you aren't prepared to change it then you aren't allowed to complain about it.

:thinkinghard:

 

[Lurk]

F