Reverse Embarassment | INFJ Forum

Reverse Embarassment

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Ergo Christobal, May 20, 2010.

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  1. Ergo Christobal

    Ergo Christobal Talking Lightbulb
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    Whenever I watch an film or even read a book where there is something embarrassing happening to a character, I feel uncomfortable. I usually can't watch, or I blush, but either way I almost feel as if I'm experiencing the situation. It'll usually happen in a comedy or something. Protagonists always make fools of themselves in comedies.
    It also applies to real life. If someone is on stage, and totally blanks out, I have to turn away. It's like my eyes don't like the taste of social uneasiness. I feel embarrassed.

    does anyone feel the same way, or about other situations? Have you ever felt uncomfortable at certain kinds of humor, or anything like that?

    thing is, I can watch extreme violence no problem. Usually people have to turn away in the clockwork orange rape scene, but it doesn't bother me too much. Some look away when someone gets physically hurt, I can't look when someone is getting emotionally hurt.

    Is this more of an INFP trait?
     
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  2. Gaze

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    Yep. Same here. If i'm watching someone being shamed or embarrassed on tv, i look away or turn the volume down. It's kinda weird. Can't explain it.
     
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  3. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Hmmmm - I feel slightly embarrassed reading this thread.
     
  4. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I agree with this. I get especially uncomfortable when it is happening to someone close to me. It's not as if I'm judging them per say; I just can't stand the idea that they are going through that situation. I want to be able to erase it so they don't have to feel that way.
     
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  5. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Oh god yes. I can feel very awkward and uncomfortable even if it's just on tv or a movie.
     
    #5 Soulful, May 20, 2010
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  6. OP
    Ergo Christobal

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    was that sarcasm?

    how are you with physical pain? the same?

    I never thought of it like that... I might feel the same way. I've never been able to explain it, but I have noticed that not everyone feels like this. Most of my family can watch and even laugh with the crowd.
     
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  7. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I think most people do this.. It's called face saving theory.



    To save another's face is to ignore disgraceful behavior. I'm sure we've all at some point ignored a child who was throwing a tantrum in public. Turning the tv down at an embarrassing moment is pretty much the same. You're just ignoring the disgrace..

    I guess it makes sense that you'd do it when watching movies, if you are sensitive enough.
    I'm not sure I understand why watching a violent scene is less upsetting..

    Maybe because we live in a culture where a respectable person restrains their reactions and emotions. To show any vulnerability is perceived as something embarrassing.. whereas a violent attack is something someone really can't help.
     
    #7 acd, May 20, 2010
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
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  8. OP
    Ergo Christobal

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    Physical stress or abuse never really upsets me. this is for a variety of reasons, I'm sure. You might blame video games, but I've got some sort of fascination with violence in art. It's strange, because I'm a very non-violent person.
     
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    #8 Ergo Christobal, May 20, 2010
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  9. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    That is interesting..
    What are the other varieties of reasons?
     
    #9 acd, May 20, 2010
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  10. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I can tease my friend if they do something in front of me and the rest of my friends. However, I get very protective when it is done in front of strangers. I am ready to pounce if they make fun of those I hold dear to me.
     
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  11. OP
    Ergo Christobal

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    do you really want to know? haha I'm not a serial killer or anything.
     
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  12. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Yes I want to know!
    I'm not judging you here, I'm interested in understanding.
     
  13. IndigoSensor

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    I have this to a very extreme level. I won't watch most (if not all) movies because of this. I will have to leave the room, and it will "knock me down" for hours afterwords if it is bad enough. I will just walk away, or in some way get away from it. As you said, comedy tends to make this the worst. I saw 20 minutes of superbad a few years ago a while after it came out after being badgared by friends to watch it (I KNEW it would bother me) after 20 minutes I couldn't take it any more and said "I am done" and just walked not giving a damn what anyone said to me. If I see someone in public possibly setting them selves up to cause something like this, I will try and stop them from doing it. Of course I can't always predict it. As an example, if a friend shouts something really loud in a store that is crude or something, I will scoul at them and walk away then walk out of the store, then speak to them explaining it. I often wont go back in that store for a few days either. The embaressment of those sort of things is overpowering.

    I am not kidding when I say I am very strongly effected by this.
     
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  14. OP
    Ergo Christobal

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    Same here! We make fun of each other all the time, but if some random person did anything I would transform into 6'5" pissed off yelling guy in a heartbeat.
     
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  15. Gaze

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    Like you, it's not the same if i see someone going through physical pain. I used to very sensitive to any form of pain i see. But now, it's selective. I'm more affected by emotional pain, embarrassment than by anything physical.
     
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  16. OP
    Ergo Christobal

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    okay here goes.
    ---------------------------------------

    edit: changed my mind, realized that there is a very possible chance of my friends lurking on here. Some I wouldn't mind, but a certain ENTJ has been being a real asshat when I've been on this forum in his presence. He's kind of an asshat in general.

    Anyways, if you wanna know, just PM me. I might even clarify from the original post if you ask nicely.
     
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    #16 Ergo Christobal, May 20, 2010
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
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  17. OP
    Ergo Christobal

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    This is very interesting. How do you feel about being in awkward social situations yourself?
    Also, superbad and napolean dynamite were VERY hard to watch.
     
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  18. Flavus Aquila

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    No sarcasm. I do feel embarrasment when reading the opening post.
     
  19. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    Are you embarrassed that you feel this way or does it stem from something else?
     
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  20. Faye

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    Yes, I feel horribly embarrassed for some people all the time.
     

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