Repeating things | INFJ Forum

Repeating things

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Jana, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. Jana

    Jana Searching...

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    So, when I have discussion with someone and we don't agree, I have a habbit to repeat my point of view, that is main part of it. It is not rare that I get "I heard you, why are you repeating?" sentence. My problem is that I keep repeating beacuse I have feeling that other person doesn't get the point. I can't help myself:) Does anybody has that problem, too? I could be just so frustrated when I think that other one don't see my part of story. Huh!
     
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    #1 Jana, Dec 23, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 23, 2009
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  2. Gaze

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    Yep, i do. for the same reasons you mention. I'll repeat if their response indicates they still don't get the underlying point i'm trying to make. I find it frustrating when someone says they understand a point i've made but they really don't. I assume they're not listening carefully. But on the other hand, many people find it annoying for someone to keep repeating an idea, whether or not they get it. So, it's tricky. At some point, we may just need to let things go, however important we think it is to assert and reinforce the point.
     
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    #2 Gaze, Dec 23, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2009
  3. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    LOL..yes...I love when you guys start pointing out stuff I'm thinking and doing.

    I think it has to do with the INFJ being right thing.
     
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  4. On my own path

    On my own path Community Member

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    Yes, it do have a propensity to repeat points. Many of the points I articulate in a discussion are interrelated and I sometimes feel as though most people, in spite of me telling them that the points are interrelated, do not take that interrelation of points into consideration when trying to interpret what I'm trying to delineate.
     
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  5. Gaze

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    EXACTLY!!!
     
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  6. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    I laughed so hard at this. I don't even know why it's funny. I think maybe because I can see my frustration in the last sentence you wrote....and I laugh at myself a lot. meh...
     
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  7. meander

    meander Newbie

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    Hmm. Would it help if they would just say "I heard what you said and I think I understand what you mean, but..."?

    Because, I sometimes feel worked up about people not listening to me: If they don't say clearly that they heard/understood me, I asume they are not listening/understanding. Faulty logic, I know. When it bothers me too much I ask "Did you listen? Did you understand?"
    Most people are cool and understand that I need a direct communication signal, but some people are just not good listeners and just want to talk and ignore my question. Then I know that I should walk away and try find somebody else to talk.
     
  8. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Yep, I've done this/do this. I've been told it's annoying, which I can understand, but I admit that sometimes I have a hard time letting go of not being right or being disagreed with if I feel very strongly about something. I've gotta work on it. If it's important (which it usually is, and I don't like misrepresentation) I will repeat myself if I feel someone missed my point based on their response.
     
    #8 Soulful, Dec 23, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2009
  9. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    I do this a lot. And mostly because people don't listen and when they do they don't understand. And they tend to take what I've said and take it as what they want too. So many people just don't understand when I'm trying to make a bigger point. :m133:
     
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  10. slant

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    I repeat myself a lot in conversation but this is because I forget midsentence that I'd already said what I'm saying at the moment. I have a bad memory.
     
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  11. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    +1, which means >0, because, remember: +1 :D


    edit: i think some Thinkers, when they get it well enough, are annoyed if you do this, but they overlook the fact that you may be taking other listeners/readers into consideration, adapting your speed to the slowest ones
     
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    #11 enfp can be shy, Dec 23, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2009
  12. OP
    Jana

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    I realised that I repeat when I don't get reaction that confirms that person heard me: yes, no, nod with head or something like that.
     
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  13. OP
    Jana

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    How do you knpw when it's time to stop?:)
    Problem is also: if it's about people important to me, I repeat them even more that to "ordinary" bunch.
     
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  14. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    If something is important enough to me I will repeat myself three times in three different ways but after that I just accept that it isn't going to happen and move on.
    Once again I think this goes back to lowering our expectations. We shouldn't expect that people will want to make the effort to understand what we're saying. We just have to learn not to take it personally.
    My husband is very patient and will listen to explanations and stories that don't seem to make any sense and then out of the blue it all comes together. Sometimes I don't even know, while I'm talking, where it's all going to end up so it's as much fun for me as it is for my husband. It took him quite a while to get used to it though.
     
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  15. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I have a tendency to repeat the main idea, but not in the same way. I take a lot of different approaches to get my point across, especially because if someone doesn't understand it the first time, that usually means you need to try a different angle. Also, explaining things simply in many different ways is difficult, but oh-so-helpful once you understand the art of it. It's also a great skill to have when you need to teach people.
     
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  16. OP
    Jana

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    I agree, I just sometimes have problems with being aware that it's not personally. I know that in mind, but usually feel bad as I don't know:)
    I'll try that method to say just 3 times.
    In situation like this it always become clear to me that I can have need to be liked (Fe), wich is bad because sometimes you can't be liked if you do what you think is right (and you should do right thing). I hope you understand what I want to say - I'll repeat it:):):)
     
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    #16 Jana, Dec 24, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2009
  17. PoetOfDreams

    PoetOfDreams Shadow Queen

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    Hehehe.

    I ask things to be repeated. I am so mindless at time.

    Tehehehe.

    :m066:
     
  18. OP
    Jana

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    Ha, ha, I guess I should look for people like you to talk to. They would be bewildred by my repeating:)
     
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  19. PoetOfDreams

    PoetOfDreams Shadow Queen

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    Haha
     
  20. NeverAmI

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    I don't really repeat myself a lot, if I feel like someone isn't "getting it" I either ask them if they want me to elaborate, or I just move on. Depends on the situation and the person.
     
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