Relationship - spontaneous v. predictable : pros/cons? | INFJ Forum

Relationship - spontaneous v. predictable : pros/cons?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 3, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Relationship - spontaneous v. predictable : pros/cons?


     
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  2. Wyote

    Wyote Meka Istaqa
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    This is incredibly vague. Context please?
     
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  3. Barnabas

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    I'll assume you mean the nature of a relationship and whether or not it's spontaneous or predictable.


    Spontaneous
    Pros

    * exciting

    * unpredictable

    * New

    * different

    Predictable
    pros

    * easily and well known

    * understandable

    * predictable

    * realistic
     
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  4. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but in general I prefer a certain amount of predictability within my relationships. I tend/need to be relatively independent and I can feel bored rather quickly so I do welcome variety, but not as much spontaneity.
     
    #4 Soulful, Sep 3, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
  5. Fallen_Adalia

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    Well now, who said you had to pick?

    On the one hand you have excitement, on the other dependability.. I say put your hands together.

    all is good in moderation, the idea is to find a good balance in my opinion.

    Then again I'm assuming you are asking for pros and cons for the reasons of picking one or the other..

    A person should strive to do a bit of both, life will kick you hard if you go with Spontaneous actions too often.. and letting life become too predictable takes away all its fun. just have to find whats right for you.
     
    #5 Fallen_Adalia, Sep 3, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
  6. IndigoSensor

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    I need both in a positive way. I need to have spontenaity with another person, but at the same time I have to have a "bubble" in a sense of things I can predict within that spontenaity.

    When I hear the word spontenious in regards to relationships, my brain often goes to unreliable. A corrallary, but not a garuntee.
     
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  7. OP
    Gaze

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    You guys have it. I guess to clarify, what are the cons of too much routine or too much spontaneity in relationships.
     
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    #7 Gaze, Sep 3, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
  8. Feelings

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    Predictable, all day every day. I mean in terms of reliability of course. I like funny chicks. And ones that will go along with my schemes.
     
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  9. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

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    Predictable:

    pros:

    1. Comfort in patterns.
    2. A sense of safety and security; when someone is predictable there is a certain level of control that is achieved and maintained.

    cons:

    1. Bored from too much familiarity and repetition.
    2. Doubts of affection after so long as there is nothing "new" or "exciting" being introduced into the relationship.

    Spontaneous:

    pros:

    1. A heightened sense of awareness due to constant changes; more alert in all respects (emotionally, mentally, physically)

    cons:

    1. Lack of concrete pattern.
    2. Trends of doubted honesty.
    3. Emotionally demanding.




    imoandexperience
     
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  10. the

    the Si master race.
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    spontaneous: Tiresome, unrealiable, unrealistic, disappointing, immature




    predictable: trustworthy, fun, relaxing, comfortable
     
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  11. OP
    Gaze

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    You said unrealistic twice :D
     
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  12. the

    the Si master race.
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    Learn to read. ;)
     
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  13. the

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    You could just admit you made a mistake. Its ok.
     
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  14. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I suppose that depends on who you ask. Predictability and spontaneity are death to one's relationship while life to another's, so it's all relative; but in general, I agree with Bird's post. Also, it really depends on what's predictable or spontaneous. Ex. Is recklessness involved or is the spontaneity primarily marked by suddenness?
     
    #14 Soulful, Sep 4, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2010
  15. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    ...agreed with everyone, as far as pros and cons are concerned. They have its good and bad. I guess when it comes to relationships, I -think- I am the spontaneous (with high tendencies to go predictable) one. :p So...predictable. Hopefully not boring.
    Not that the spontaneous isn't fun; but yeah, too much cook ruins the dish. Meh, preferably somewhere in the middle.
     
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  16. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    highly spontaneous relationships are fun but don't last, too predictable relationships can obviously get boring. a balance is imperative.
     
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    #16 TinyBubbles, Sep 5, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2010
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