Relating to other people | INFJ Forum

Relating to other people

Soulful

life is good
Nov 18, 2008
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What does it mean to relate to other people? What does the process involve?

Do you find it easy? Do you do it automatically or does it take effort on your part?

Does relating to another person mean more than understanding them? Does it involve you feeling less alone as well?

Are there different kinds of relating or different ways to relate?

Other thoughts?
 
I think relating to people involves finding common areas of interest or, more deeply, common perspectives and ways of feeling about life. I think the process really boils down to having had similar experiences, or at least being able to correctly imagine how a particular experience makes a person feel.

I don't try that hard to really relate to other people, more just try to understand where they are coming from. If I can relate, it will come. If not, if anything I'd have to take a minute to figure out what all the details of the situation would be like, then imagine how it'd effect me. This wouldn't be an appropriate exercise to commit in the middle of a conversation though!

Conversely, I think most people have a really hard time relating to me, or at least I don't feel related to very often.
 
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I think it means being able to be on the same page as eachother, on the same wavelength, when it comes to taking in things and thought processes.

I have stopped actually trying to relate to people, unless necessary. I have yet to find someone completely on my wavelength. I've found a select few who've come pretty close though
 
I think relating to people involves finding common areas of interest or, more deeply, common perspectives and ways of feeling about life. I think the process really boils down to having had similar experiences, or at least being able to correctly imagine how a particular experience makes a person feel.

Bolded the big one.

My ex-friend I had just about every interest in common with. Music tastes, liking of geeky thing, loving of outdoor stuff, and a small sense of adventure.

None of that meant anything though because the core beliefs he had (or lack of them) were completely counter to my own. He was extremely closed about himself while I was open to a level that makes it easier to understand me. He was extremely insincere with choices and attitudes he made towards people and life in order to come off as a perfect person while I hold high value to sincerity.

Usually you would think common interests would mean common belief systems and core values, and I made myself believe that for months. For him, he must of been an exception to that rule :\
 
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Bolded the big one.

My ex-friend I had just about every interest in common with. Music tastes, liking of geeky thing, loving of outdoor stuff, and a small sense of adventure.

None of that meant anything though because the core beliefs he had (or lack of them) were completely counter to my own. He was extremely closed about himself while I was open to a level that makes it easier to understand me. He was extremely insincere with choices and attitudes he made towards people and life in order to come off as a perfect person while I hold high value to sincerity.

Usually you would think common interests would mean common belief systems and core values, and I made myself believe that for months. For him, he must of been an exception to that rule :\

Hmmm. Yes, I would think that if someone were interested in all the things I were, we'd feel similarly about things.

Though for me, I'm not even sure beliefs would be quite accurate either. More like, the nature of those beliefs and why they are held.
 
I think relating to people involves finding common areas of interest or, more deeply, common perspectives and ways of feeling about life.

yeah id agree with this, i think a mutual level of understanding is necessary on both parts (or at least Thinking you do), to know where someone else is coming from and agree or approve.

nope this doesn't come easy for me when i'm meeting new people. i was wondering if this had something to do with looking towards social situations for security. i've always gotten SP or SX with enneagram tests, regardless of what type. i think my need to relate would probably be more intense if i thought about things this way, i can see the logic behind it, its just not something that comes natural to me.

i think theres different ways to relate depending on what the form of communication is. like i normally relate to song writers, composers, drummers. i mean i feel like i can understand these peoples logic behind what they're doing, what they're trying to say and how they're saying it. so although the definition of relate stays the same, its just based on different circumstances.
 
What does it mean to relate to other people? What does the process involve?

Do you find it easy? Do you do it automatically or does it take effort on your part?

Does relating to another person mean more than understanding them? Does it involve you feeling less alone as well?

Are there different kinds of relating or different ways to relate?

Other thoughts?
I think feeling like you understand and relate to them and they to you.
I find it horribly hard and don't really relate to anyone properly, only a teeny bit here and there and it takes effort.
I think it would involve understanding and feeling close to them so you can talk about anything or at least understand what theyre saying.
No idea if there are idfferent types!
 
I think relating to people involves finding common areas of interest or, more deeply, common perspectives and ways of feeling about life. I think the process really boils down to having had similar experiences, or at least being able to correctly imagine how a particular experience makes a person feel.

I think it means being able to be on the same page as eachother, on the same wavelength, when it comes to taking in things and thought processes.

yeah id agree with this, i think a mutual level of understanding is necessary on both parts (or at least Thinking you do), to know where someone else is coming from and agree or approve.

+1. Try to relate where necessary. But if i overdo it, it starts to feel forced, and uncomfortable. But my focus is understanding, rather than relating, as Kaze said. You can find ways to relate to someone without connecting with them. Some relating is superficial, and some are quite deep. It depends on person, place, and context.