Recurring Workplace Incompatibilities

[Jonathan]

I've been in a similar mindset about dealing with co-workers. I find that learning about what motivates types that are different from mine gives me an advantage, especially as someone who is intuitive and felling, because I'm able to then counter-strategize against their strategies, and see what's coming based on the patters I've noticed. Plus, I feel like there's nothing wrong with not caring about how the business world works, i.e. capital and the bottom line, and I definitely feel like it's OK to not want to fit in. These things confine people, and allow others to control how they act. I agree that the world isn't just magically going to change to the way you want it to be, but I also believe that positive change is often brought about by people who are willing to do things differently and break out of the mold that the majority of society tries to force you into. With some creative thinking, you can probably find a balance: being yourself, appealing to certain preferences of others when appropriate to promote harmonious relationships, and sticking to your convictions and integrity.

Also, if you try learning about what motivates the people around you, you will gain an understanding of why they value things such as business sense and a financially oriented strategy so much. Therefore, you'll have a greater perspective on the opinions that are largely out of your control. Just because you're not fitting in doesn't mean you're wrong. Don't let them change you for their benefit, but don't try to change anyone else for your own benefit either.

Holding to your convictions is admirable, and if people judge you for it, let it be that way. It's OK to not like the way other people do things. If everyone just blindly followed the norm because they didn't want to cause any problems, we would no longer have any values of our own. If we don't make any judgment calls, we allow others to make judgments for us. Also, if people are too self-righteous to try to at least understand that not everyone is like them, they're missing something important about life. If you remind yourself that they 'know not what they do,' it's a lot easier to dismiss their petty judgment as a delusion of superiority, when really, it's just a difference in how they approach life.

 

[shafishstix]

Yes they are some insightful words (like all the advice provided by everyone so far). Im not necessarily saying that the world needs to change for my benefit (im much more selfless than that and im sure everyone understands). I guess im still trying to figure out what external policy is going to work best for me, one that reconciles differences in the most effective way. On one hand we have what they stand for and on the other is what i consider important.

I dont know about other parts of the world but here in Australia your generally considered a "poof" for even bringing up this subject. I get the overwhelming message that i seem to have "no idea" and that to care about people on the level i do is something that i have to loose a grasp of, in order to be tough (which seems to be a predominant ideal held by most people). I find that i am constantly checking myself to not let on any vulnerabilities or the fact i am somewhat sensitive and deep. I sometimes resent those traits within myself because i know for a large part, it is malaligned with whats going on around me.

Thanks for all comments, these are all very useful answers.

 

[arbygil]

I will say this: The older you get, the more your realize that everyone has a certain "way" of being who they are...and the quicker you recognize this, the quicker you'll accept that certain irritants are less irritants, and more "their way." Once you get that, then no one really upsets you because they're fitting that pattern.

I will address things, however, if I see a pattern that's particularly disruptive to the work "collective." But I'll usually only address it with my team - I let the others take care of their own team.