Questions For Your Mom... (Please Help)

What was the last book you read?
Do you like to cook?
What's your favorite food?
Tell me about a favorite event of your adulthood.
Tell me about a favorite event of your childhood.
What are your hobbies?
What do you do on Sundays?
What is the nearest bus stop or train station to your house?
What is your motto?
What's your father like?
What's your mother like?
Which sports do you like?
Who do you respect the most?
Who has had the most influence in your life?
What is your goal in life?
Are you a 'morning' or 'night' person?
When do you feel best? In the morning, afternoon, or evening?
How many cities have you lived in?
What jobs have you done?
Which do you prefer, sunrises or sunsets?
How many times did you move as a child?
Are you a task oriented person or a people oriented person?

 

Well first of all dneecey I'm pretty glad that you have taken the courage to tell us about your worries, I feel very honored that you are taking us into consideration for something as important as making up with your mom. As a mother yourself I think you are starting to see your mother's perspective on some of the choices and decisions she had to make when you were a child, sometimes not the best decisions, but nevertheless you are seeing it from a mothers' perspective and that's pretty good. In regards to that list of question of yours I don't have any but here are some of my suggestions that you could take for consideration:

1. Ask her is she would take the MBTI and since she's more mature she is more likely to know herself pretty well, once you have the results, start to understand her from that perspective
2. Take some vacations with her, go shopping together, and overall spend more time with her
3. From personal experience, write a letter(not an email) and tell her what resentments and feelings you have towards her, that helped me alot with my mom, and ask her if she would do the same.
4. Avoid talking about the past mistakes, if you truly want to forgive her, acknowledge that she also has the right to be wrong.
5. Take time for her to know your children also her grandkids, after all, your children are an extension of you
6. Overall make the effort to see her as a new friend and think of her in regards to the future and of all the remarkable things you two can accomplish together.
7. I know this is easier said than done, but I've been observing your posts and I truly know that you are very compassionate and very talented in everything you have demonstrated to us so far.

With that said, I really wish that you make things with your mom better and never hesitate to ask for help.

Best regards

 

I am extremely close to my mom so it is hard to relate. However, I have a rough relationship with my dad so I can relate in that respect.

Really though, you shouldn't have to resort to giving her a servey of questions. Just talk. Keep the questions in the back of your mind, and just ask a few now and then. They in turn can lead to conversation.

One question that could get the ball rolling would be "what matters to you?"

 

When did you have your first drink? Why?

 

I can't think of anything to ask directly, but try to ask her open-ended questions, that way she can talk on the subject more and make the whole ordeal less awkward.

So instead of asking her what her favorite book is, ask her "What sort of stories do you enjoy?", that way you will still find out what your looking for, but it makes the answers flow easier in a conversation.

Just my two cents... (I think I'm gonna put that in my Sig...)

 

I am a question machine.

 

mom, what was your favourite memory of me?

 

What are your favourite flowers?
What are the things that you would never give or throw away?
What is your dream life?
What is your favourite drink?
What is your fetish?
Your favourite animal?
What is your answer towards the colour of the sky?
Do you like moving house?
Where would you like to go for a vacation?
Do you have a hangout?
What is your favourite sports?
Your favourite kind of shoes?
How did you meet dad?
How you fell in love with dad?
Why did you decide to have me?
Are you looking for something?Even now?
What age would you like to be now?

 

Good luck dneecey.

 

Hmm...

I was/am in a similar situation where I was trying to figure out how to best explain to my parents about my mbti type and about why I am the way I am.

I had learned that just showing them a website or making them read about it was not the best way. because certain types (they're SJ's I believe) are more prone to being skeptical about the type theory or....they would have trouble understanding all the nuances and implications of a person's type.

Have you determined that your mom is someone who would be receptive to type theory?

Also is this supposed to be a two way street thing, where she is also supposed to learn more about you? Have you determined that a survey would be the best format?

I have found from my experience that the best way is to make the mbti type theory relate to you in a tangible way. For example, my father and I had to run to catch a bus. However, the bus driver was really mean and angry about it and almost drove away. I told my father how negative energy (in this case, from the bus driver) seeps into my soul and affects me more than it affects other people. My father just said that I shouldn't let other people have that kind of power over me. Then I told him that the thing is, I can't control that reaction. I can't help being affected by negative energy from mean, or angry people.

So in addition to the survey, you should try to recall specific experiences that you shared, and then explain why you did "x" or why you felt "x." This gives a concrete way of showing how your personality affects the way you are.

 

my mom can be a brutal ENFP, letting her emotions sway her...

me and her still have our spats ( F vs F )... but we have discussion from everything from sex, drugs and rock&roll to the microbiology of the human anatomy (she used to be a surgical nurse)...

but mom has had to raise 2 sons... so she's cool like that...

in fact, i have to shy away from her cause she sees her part in trying to get me a girl cause "every guy has NEEDS that need to be met"...

wtf?



lol... yea, my mom's cool like that...