Psychological manipulation/warfare used on a personal level
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No. This girl in halls of residence was really trying to though so I threw eggs at her window.
It was pretty bad though because we (me and another flatmate) got the eggs from the fridge and dropped a couple along the way so there was a trail of egg leading right to the crime scene.
I'm bad at mind games when the other person is properly into it and has it in for me. I usually think that whatever I've done can't be so bad that they can't talk to me about it but they get all malicious and things get weird because they're influencing people and I'm just normal with people and don't realise I have to combat the other person's influence on them. I just take it for granted that they take me for what they know of me but...that doesn't seem to always be the case.
Just messing around with people, though. I'm pretty good at that.
It was pretty bad though because we (me and another flatmate) got the eggs from the fridge and dropped a couple along the way so there was a trail of egg leading right to the crime scene.
I'm bad at mind games when the other person is properly into it and has it in for me. I usually think that whatever I've done can't be so bad that they can't talk to me about it but they get all malicious and things get weird because they're influencing people and I'm just normal with people and don't realise I have to combat the other person's influence on them. I just take it for granted that they take me for what they know of me but...that doesn't seem to always be the case.
Just messing around with people, though. I'm pretty good at that.
This probably relates more to warfare; it happens every now and then. For the most part I don't engage the person at all. When I know that someone is trying to push my buttons in a group setting, in a cruel fashion, I will naturally exhibit a most vacant look, and completely ignore the comment. If I am being addressed directly that vacant look will be at the eyes, with my focal point about 100 yards behind the person.
I try to make 'em feel like they are having as much effect on me, as a moth is in a crosstown attic.
I try to make 'em feel like they are having as much effect on me, as a moth is in a crosstown attic.
In the past, sure.
But not anymore. Confronting them seems much more effective.
I prefer to call them out and let them know exactly what I think their angle is.
And I prefer to do that in a creepy, calm voice. Maybe that's a tad manipulative--not giving anyone the satisfaction of ruffling my feathers.
I don't encounter a lot of manipulative people, though.
I am vigilant to not have anything to do with them if I can help it.
But not anymore. Confronting them seems much more effective.
I prefer to call them out and let them know exactly what I think their angle is.
And I prefer to do that in a creepy, calm voice. Maybe that's a tad manipulative--not giving anyone the satisfaction of ruffling my feathers.
I don't encounter a lot of manipulative people, though.
I am vigilant to not have anything to do with them if I can help it.
[MENTION=564]acd[/MENTION] I relate.
It's an option reserved for dire situations, for when I'm in an inescapable situation and people have a) shown me that they won't deal with issues that arise in a forward, reasonable manner, and b) terrorized and manipulated me first, causing my empathy for them to cut off.
It's how I got my landlady to end my one year contract with her after just 7 months.
It's an option reserved for dire situations, for when I'm in an inescapable situation and people have a) shown me that they won't deal with issues that arise in a forward, reasonable manner, and b) terrorized and manipulated me first, causing my empathy for them to cut off.
It's how I got my landlady to end my one year contract with her after just 7 months.
i am bulletproof in this department
most people understand this within a very short period of time
i do not play games. i do not respond to those who do unless it's so in my face that it cannot be avoided. it is then that i become a terrible three headed creature with dripping fangs and blood in my claws
yeah
then they leave me alone after that
most people understand this within a very short period of time
i do not play games. i do not respond to those who do unless it's so in my face that it cannot be avoided. it is then that i become a terrible three headed creature with dripping fangs and blood in my claws
yeah
then they leave me alone after that
I'm curious; exactly what did you do/say to her?
It would be handy to know if I ever want to get out of a contract.
I made it so that she couldn't really call me out for doing anything wrong or not doing my part or doing damage to anything, but just because of her manipulative and unstraightforward nature, I was able to just decide to take her words at face value sometimes instead of acting in a way that she would've preferred through her implications (it also helps that she is getting old and has some sort of dementia and in fact imagined all sorts of things that never happened, and is very forgetful). That caused her to slowly dislike me being around more and more. Then one day, I pushed for a "talk", because it seemed like she was having "issues" with me, and she said that she'd been thinking and basically insulted me for all sorts of past conflicts where she either told me it was "okay" when I'd asked her about them before or had never brought them up, and never made the effort to try to work things through. She said all I had to give her was 30 days notice before I moved out. After this talk, I slipped in a pseudo-threat, which she caught, and freaked out and said that I would have to move out that night. Actually, this was a pretty efficient way of doing it, looking back on it. Living together for another 30 days after that would've been pretty awkward, for her as well -- and she probably realized that. I also knew that she wouldn't actually do anything about me threatening her. I had planned this all out for many months beforehand.
At one point I laid out to her all the reasons for why she was being unreasonable and basically a batshit old lady who was trying to manipulate me just like everyone else in her life, hence why they'd all been driven away forcing her to live alone, but she ignored me lol.
I distinctly remember when I told my ENFJ friend this story, at the "threat" part she did this squint/twitch looking at me like I did the most horrifying thing ever. Judgers gonna judge I guess.
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In the past I've had people like this in my life. Now not so much except for the occasional creep. In these cases I limit my interaction with them. I have better things to do with my time and energy then waste it playing hurtful games.
The page I was typing my response on just jumped to the forum page with nothing saved.
@Sadie , I like the way you factionalize with the word "creep". They are hurtful games, act as though they are or not.
@acd , you are drawing both guns by confronting them and telling them you know what they are doing. I'll have to give that more thought.
@Nitesteamer , I think most people ignore them and do what they can not to walk the same streets.
Will check in on this when I have more time. Did one ever wonder if they realize how they are putting fuel to a fire? Showing their hand of hatred or jealousy? Placing themselves at a distance? Makes me wonder at what level they will go to...
@Sadie , I like the way you factionalize with the word "creep". They are hurtful games, act as though they are or not.
@acd , you are drawing both guns by confronting them and telling them you know what they are doing. I'll have to give that more thought.
@Nitesteamer , I think most people ignore them and do what they can not to walk the same streets.
Will check in on this when I have more time. Did one ever wonder if they realize how they are putting fuel to a fire? Showing their hand of hatred or jealousy? Placing themselves at a distance? Makes me wonder at what level they will go to...
No, which may or may not work. But I hint that I know what they're doing and try to ignore them. I have no energy to play games. And I make sure that I avoid giving them anything they can use to continue or further the manipulation. so, i avoid making myself any more of a target. I used to get defensive or visibly upset, and realized that this made it more fun for them. So, I decided to laugh it off or ignore it. After a while, they usually get bored and move on to someone else. If you let them know that it bothers you, it's as if they've won. So, not reacting to it along with avoidance and distancing usually works best, at least for me.
new words o_o
how to explain..
The moment you started considering the cost, considering the prize, is the moment you'll begin to play.
Protecting ourselves and making the situation better is also, a form of playing. A less aggressive form of playing; but playing nonetheless.
and when that happens, not playing is a strategy (like [MENTION=564]acd[/MENTION] said)
the moment when the thought "I don't want to -fight-, why do you still keep doing this?" arises.
the moment when you found yourself irritated with the injustice that keeps happening,
the moment when you found that their reasoning keeps them moving on and there's really no other way.
Everything becomes a method of war,
something to alleviate the pain, something to make you/others/'the situation' (instead of The Situation) feel better.
And the other party will response in their way.
Issues are one thing. Hurt feelings are another. Injustice are also a different thing.
Musing;
There are different aspects in a certain conflict, and how it solves;
who does it,
what happened;
does it intentional? Unintentional?
The severity; the distress / discomfort / pain caused;
the significance of what happened.
What does it say when that problem appear?
When the other party chose to do what they did;
and you chose to do what you did?
the stacking layers of 'case-by-case' layered with 'my god, another mistake from them again'
does it one stroke in many? A new thing? Something sudden and unexpected?
What did the other party read?
What does it mean into your life?
What does it mean into their life?
what it does to the sanity of both parties.
How both parties were handling it,
how both parties were treating each other,
what considerations both parties have;
what are being protected,
what are being moved,
what are being used.
what issues do they have, and does this problem related to that issue?
what issues do they have, and does this problem can be used to solve / answer / further that issue?
what are the concerns? the fears?
and how it was solved;
whether it was solved completely or not,
whether grudge was allowed to exist or not.
whether both parties are alleviated from their burdens or not,
whether both parties -should- be alleviated from their burdens or not, retribution;
what methods are used, under what consideration;
what does it say when you / the other party use the considerations; when thoughts are created and decisions are made, what does all of them mean to you? To them?
Most often, mankind has a sort of expectations over each and one of those. (even 'zero' was one)
Everything can hurt.
To be honest I don't really know what to say here.
The same as my position in regards to psychological manipulations.
I have been into all sides; the one who doesn't like to war, the one who suffers, the one who instigates, the one who prolongs, and the one who ends.
These jumbled thoughts are what I noticed.
There are different aspects in a certain conflict, and how it solves;
who does it,
what happened;
does it intentional? Unintentional?
The severity; the distress / discomfort / pain caused;
the significance of what happened.
What does it say when that problem appear?
When the other party chose to do what they did;
and you chose to do what you did?
the stacking layers of 'case-by-case' layered with 'my god, another mistake from them again'
does it one stroke in many? A new thing? Something sudden and unexpected?
What did the other party read?
What does it mean into your life?
What does it mean into their life?
what it does to the sanity of both parties.
How both parties were handling it,
how both parties were treating each other,
what considerations both parties have;
what are being protected,
what are being moved,
what are being used.
what issues do they have, and does this problem related to that issue?
what issues do they have, and does this problem can be used to solve / answer / further that issue?
what are the concerns? the fears?
and how it was solved;
whether it was solved completely or not,
whether grudge was allowed to exist or not.
whether both parties are alleviated from their burdens or not,
whether both parties -should- be alleviated from their burdens or not, retribution;
what methods are used, under what consideration;
what does it say when you / the other party use the considerations; when thoughts are created and decisions are made, what does all of them mean to you? To them?
Most often, mankind has a sort of expectations over each and one of those. (even 'zero' was one)
Everything can hurt.
To be honest I don't really know what to say here.
The same as my position in regards to psychological manipulations.
I have been into all sides; the one who doesn't like to war, the one who suffers, the one who instigates, the one who prolongs, and the one who ends.
These jumbled thoughts are what I noticed.
I am being so unnerved right now.
There are this assumption that psychological warfares are bad / good / acceptable / something one has to do;
for moral reasons,
for pragmatism.
Personally I have all, used to believe in all.
The amount differs between each cases.
On one hand, there are certain inherent goodness in honesty,
certain distastes in manipulation (or thinking of yourself as manipulating)
But at one point I also thought that what was tend to be the other side of the scale (namely, dealing with it openly) is not always that...holy, either.
If anything, they can be abrasive, they can be annoying, rude.
The willingness to be open =/= the ability to do so well.
A lot of things were challenged.
At one point I drew surprising similarities between the inherent admiration placed upon cynicism with the inherent admiration placed upon aggression.
Stop being manipulative; be open be honest be LOUD
what
the
hell.
Tact, attentiveness, and reasoning exists either way ; whether you are engaged in war or not.
Whether you are willing to have an open battle or not.
Whether you are using the methods of a stealth battle -- or an open battle.
It was just-- situation.
If one just wants to -war-, then to war they will.
It's something like that, I suppose.
It was just a tool.
Maybe I still believe in all. >_>;
Anyway.
There are this assumption that psychological warfares are bad / good / acceptable / something one has to do;
for moral reasons,
for pragmatism.
Personally I have all, used to believe in all.
The amount differs between each cases.
On one hand, there are certain inherent goodness in honesty,
certain distastes in manipulation (or thinking of yourself as manipulating)
But at one point I also thought that what was tend to be the other side of the scale (namely, dealing with it openly) is not always that...holy, either.
If anything, they can be abrasive, they can be annoying, rude.
The willingness to be open =/= the ability to do so well.
A lot of things were challenged.
At one point I drew surprising similarities between the inherent admiration placed upon cynicism with the inherent admiration placed upon aggression.
Stop being manipulative; be open be honest be LOUD
what
the
hell.
Tact, attentiveness, and reasoning exists either way ; whether you are engaged in war or not.
Whether you are willing to have an open battle or not.
Whether you are using the methods of a stealth battle -- or an open battle.
It was just-- situation.
If one just wants to -war-, then to war they will.
It's something like that, I suppose.
It was just a tool.
Maybe I still believe in all. >_>;
Anyway.
Psychological manipulation on a personal level just to get one's way at all costs to whoever else is involved..................is revealing. Being careful not to judge, I can tell many things about the person and the situation when this is thrown at me. The timing they use is revealing. The subtle veil of innocense is revealing.
When so many things are revealed to me, I cannot help but to distance myself even further from all involved.
When they are trying to make a big deal out of something so....trivial...
maybe something else I am missing. I feel there are those that just like to stir the pot...like casting lots: shake and see what falls out. I believe in leaving well enough alone.
When so many things are revealed to me, I cannot help but to distance myself even further from all involved.
When they are trying to make a big deal out of something so....trivial...
maybe something else I am missing. I feel there are those that just like to stir the pot...like casting lots: shake and see what falls out. I believe in leaving well enough alone.