Problems with love and Fe | INFJ Forum

Problems with love and Fe

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Blind Bandit, Apr 20, 2009.

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  1. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    So I'm curious dose anyone feel love for friends that is so strong that it feel almost romantic in nature? I'm referring to the gender your attracted to so for me it would be women.

    I've noticed this happen a lot as I get older. Its hard to draw the line of what I feel for a person.

    I've come down to I just really feel strongly for friends. I think its part of my personality type and extroverted feel being so d**n strong.

    I usually realize my extreme feeling ill founded and then things are fine but its weird to have that strong of feeling for female friends.

    Anyone else have this issue of confusion of love and where you stand?
     
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  2. Virgoess

    Virgoess Regular Poster

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    Great posting!

    I completely understand where you are coming from. With close friendships, I got to know them so well and in two or three cases it got so confusing.

    I loved them so strongly it was just so, complicated. I have the issue of I tend to project what I'm feeling no matter what. Even if I don't want to, some of it still squeaks out.

    I've never had the ill founded realization. Maybe its because in all but one case, I kept my feelings under wraps. The one time I did, the friendship was over and here it is 13 years later and we just reconnected. It was still honest at the time though.

    I think part of this comes from being in tune with our emotions and having depth. When you feel so strongly and someone intertwines into part of your soul it keys off a lot of things. That love and those feelings are one of them, thus the confusion.

    Its good you've been able to maintain your friendships. My Fe has caused me to step way back from letting people get close to me. To invest that much energy is hard especially when Fe may roar its head. People are often uncomfortable with such strong feeling.
     
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  3. Jana

    Jana Searching...

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    My problem is that I don't like to tell people (friends, partners) that I love them. It sounds so banal (pop-culture made it banal:) so I try to show them instead. And, that is time when I become clingy if I don't control myself:)
     
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  4. corvidae

    corvidae ohai internets
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    Fe is the reason I'm not sure whether I'm straight or bi >.<
     
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  5. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    Oh, I have a very dear friend who is closer to me than I am to my family. She's my "soul friend" (anam cara friend) and to me the bond is much greater than it is for a normal relationship. We're not dating and we're both very het, but I can't describe the closeness. I'd equate it to a "David and Jonathon" relationship. Just a really deep, extremely close caring for each other.

    And we really don't have to see each other that often - we know how the other is feeling and we know if the other is feeling down, too. But she's the only person I have this relationship with. I don't think there's room for anyone else right now.
     
  6. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    THIS IS SO ME!!!!!! I feel this magnetic attraction of exhuberance with my friends. I love my female friends romantically, but with males it is romantical and sexual attraction. (I'm straight)

    So if some males are my friends - I already like them so much that it makes it hard for me to distinguish what 'inlove' is since I allready do Love them so much. Hence, it should be mentioned that I have the tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.
     
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  7. OP
    Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Same here only thing different is the gender is switched.

    ughhh the joy of being Fe...
     
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  8. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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  9. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Wow that is fantastic!! Hence if this type of friendship is called 'romantic relationship' then what are other "friendships" like? Because I always thought of these as the only 'true friendship' xD
     
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  10. OP
    Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    That is very applicable.

    But as I said there is a sexual attraction. So that would be further than the term implys.


    Thats kinda what I feel too.

    Even my guy friends get bear hugs. :m027:
     
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    #10 Blind Bandit, Apr 24, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2009
  11. Eh18

    Eh18 Newbie

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    I know with me personally, if I'm attracted to a girl when I meet them, if we become friends, that attraction never goes away. Even years later, I'm still attracted to certain friends. No matter how strong the friendship is, I would LIKELY act on it if given the chance.

    I had to struggle to think of any situations where this DID get acted on, and there is only one I am still friends with. Even with her, given the chance, I'd act on it again.
     
  12. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    this confused me to no end in the past. i feel strong platonic love for certain females in my life and they don't necessarily have to be close friends or even acquaintances for that matter. when i was younger, it had been an overwhelming feeling of value and utmost intrigue for a person to the extent that i was constantly in awe of why i so concentrated my energy on that person in particular. some years ago i came to the conclusion of my bisexuality, but even from then until now it remains primarily on the platonic level of emotional affinity overriding that of the carnal.
    i've never experienced this romantic friendship with males. either they become a cherished friend, like a brother, or it is on par with romantic love.
     
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  13. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Haha that is so adorable, never stop that!! ^^ I'm pretty much the same haha, some of my friends will even look aorund to see whose watching, probably worrying it could be misinterpreted xD. I don't mind so much though because it is probably because I'm all over them like I havent seen them in ages. :hug::m204:
     
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  14. texasgirl

    texasgirl Newbie

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    I know exactly what you mean. I have some guy friends that i really like almost romantically, but then at the same time its not in a romantic way.

    I am, also, one of the straightest people you could ever know, but I have a really close girl friend who I sometimes feel more than friends for, but not really because i could never really be in love with her that way!

    Having fe as my main function can be quite confusing at times!
     
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  15. OP
    Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Somtimes I wish I didn't have Fe.

    Its been down right painful fair to much.

    I'm sick of people not giving a sh*t about anyone but themsevles and I feel like I stretch myself out and get stepped on in the process.

    And not feeling said when someone you have feelings for turns away from you. Hell even as a friend.

    I wish I could control it better.

    At least its not my main function. I don't think I would have much heart left.
     
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