Polyamory

Sounds expensive and a lot of work.

 

Per person should be cheaper and easier, actually. The most expensive (and difficult) per person is living alone. It's a luxury allowed only to the richest humans on the planet.

 

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AXD-Nr2oFE"]YouTube- ‪Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous (original version)‬‎[/ame]

I used to be strongly against polyamory, but I've come to accept that some, though not all, people can be polyamorous (without having problems or not having their needs met). I don't think I am one though. I want an exclusive relationship or else I'm afraid I'll just be ignored.

 

I would be far too jealous in this type of relationship, but if that's what you're in to then by all means- go for it!

 

Yeah, there's actually a guy who talks (or used to, anyway) quite a bit about polyamory on his blog. You might be interested in this: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/01/polyamory/

I'm cool with it, but I don't even like being with more than one friend at a time, so it's definitely not for me.

 

This confuses me. Why would an asexual person be interested in sexual relationships at all? I'm a heterosexual man and have no desire to sleep with men. I would not have sex with a man because it's less disgusting than, say, two men and a chimpanzee.

 

I don't feel like I can connect to a group, just to individuals.

And a sexual experience with more than one individual at a time seems... too unfocused and impersonal.

 

Breaking Benjamin - "Polyamorous" is likely not even about the phenomenon of living with more than one person. The consensus is that his "polyamorous friend" is just his sexual organ, craving more than one woman at a time. Polyamory does not imply by default wild orgies, sodomy or something of this sort. I imagine it could be quite civil and well working. I liked the situation in "Ordinary Decent Criminal", which is also rather a case of polyamory than patriarchal polygamy, because the two women also had equal position as being family to each other, not just through sharing a husband.

I'd only oppose it if it promotes the element of inequality, as traditional polygamy did.

 

the situation you are describing here is why i pursued polyamory for a number of years. i don't know if i am asexual but i desire sexiness and sexuality less than most and MUCH less than the person i was married to. around the fifteenth year of our marriage we realized how much this was compromising our friendship and emotional intimacy. i also require a lot of solitude and i realize in relationship with one person i can really contribute to their feeling of loneliness if they don't have other intimates.

i think i've always been emotionally polyamorous. i like having more than one person i can share my vulnerability, hopes, dreams, fun adventures etc with.

i'm glad i was monogamous for the first 15 years of my marriage because it helped us to really bond and gain trust. however, in the last seven years of our marriage i think polyamory helped us to maintain what we loved about our connection. and even still, after being divorced the last few years. we are still the best of friends. also, as a bisexual person, i also appreciated having a trusted partner to talk with as i explored my curiosity with women.

i think it's just one of the many options and some people might never have an interest. i think relationships can be just as healthy or unhealthy as monogamous relationships. there are pitfalls and benefits to both. i highly recommend reading "the ethical slut" if you are thinking of entering this lifestyle. one of the the critical factors is honesty and creating/honoring thoughtful negotiations with those involved. you can never assume that everyone feels the same way about each decision.

best of luck to you!

 

Oh, well that's sweet