Polyamory | INFJ Forum

Polyamory

slant

slant

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So....

Last night, I can't remember why I was thinking about it, but I was thinking about polyamory, and suddenly it hit me: that's what I've been missing!

I do have a craving to date, but I have always thought it to be pointless because I would want multiple partners in my lifetime, not just one, and possesiveness is a real turn off for me.

I never stopped to think that a polyamrous relationship might be the way to go because of our stupid culture's way of making it invalid and pretending it doesn't exist.

So I've been pretty much drooling with the realization that I could have whoever I wanted with as many other people as I wanted and we could all live in a big house and have our own lives but still grope and fondle each other every other night, and still have it be a COMMITTED relationship.

Yayyyy!!

Are you like, born monogamous or polyamorous or something because I totally feel like this has been buried under me my whole life.

I could have a chick! I could have a dude! I could have several dudes and one chick!


FREEE LOVE!

What do you guys think about Polyamory, aye?
 
Sounds expensive and a lot of work.
 
Weren't you supposed to be asexual? Or was that a result of being sexually oppressed?

Or is this thread a ruse?
 
Wyote said:
Weren't you supposed to be asexual? Or was that a result of being sexually oppressed?

Or is this thread a ruse?
Click to expand...

I am asexual, and I'm being serious here.
 
uberrogo said:
Sounds expensive and a lot of work.
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Per person should be cheaper and easier, actually. The most expensive (and difficult) per person is living alone. It's a luxury allowed only to the richest humans on the planet.
 
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For example...when I turn eighteen I am going to have sex with two thirty year olds. Now, this was just going to be a one night stand, but those on the forums who are old enough and have volunteered on tinychat--- WE COULD BE IN A POLYMOROUS RELATIONSHIP!!!

C'mon!

Think about it!
Th
 
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AXD-Nr2oFE"]YouTube- ‪Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous (original version)‬‎[/ame]

I used to be strongly against polyamory, but I've come to accept that some, though not all, people can be polyamorous (without having problems or not having their needs met). I don't think I am one though. I want an exclusive relationship or else I'm afraid I'll just be ignored.
 
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I wish the beatles had made a song about polyamory because I am in a beatles kick and...that song just kinda put my mood off. :/
 
I would be far too jealous in this type of relationship, but if that's what you're in to then by all means- go for it!
:)
 
Yeah, there's actually a guy who talks (or used to, anyway) quite a bit about polyamory on his blog. You might be interested in this: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/01/polyamory/

I'm cool with it, but I don't even like being with more than one friend at a time, so it's definitely not for me.
 
I would like to create a harem of half lesbians and half bisexual women and men....It seems like so much fun. Wanda could come with me to get my hair done and Braxton could go with me to that art festival....and.....:D

Any other opinions?
 
KazeCraven said:
Yeah, there's actually a guy who talks (or used to, anyway) quite a bit about polyamory on his blog. You might be interested in this: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/01/polyamory/

I'm cool with it, but I don't even like being with more than one friend at a time, so it's definitely not for me.
Click to expand...

Why don't you people know how to share?!

I'm actually being serious here. Why is it so hard to share your partner? Any time I've done sexual things I've only been able to do it in a group because one on one I just get disgusted and uninterested; not to say that in a group I'm not disgusted or disinterested, but usually, I can take it.

And so if an asexual can share, I don't see how sexual people wouldn't just love that nasty shit. Like, getting down and dirty with several other people or just having a switch off every night? I don't get it? Why wouldn't you love that?!
 
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This confuses me. Why would an asexual person be interested in sexual relationships at all? I'm a heterosexual man and have no desire to sleep with men. I would not have sex with a man because it's less disgusting than, say, two men and a chimpanzee.
 
I don't feel like I can connect to a group, just to individuals.

And a sexual experience with more than one individual at a time seems... too unfocused and impersonal.
 
whytiger said:
This confuses me. Why would an asexual person be interested in sexual relationships at all? I'm a heterosexual man and have no desire to sleep with men. I would not have sex with a man because it's less disgusting than, say, two men and a chimpanzee.
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Asexuals tend to compromise in relationships if they are dating sexual people. Sexual people have needs and if the asexual is compassionate enough they'll usually just give in.

And I haven't actually had 'sex' persay, so, I haven't actually had sex with anyone, I'm just saying, that when I've been in sexual situations its always been more comfortable when there is more than one person than just, one person. And I don't desire to have sex actually....you've all misinterpreted the first post as being I want to have these people sexually.

I do not. I just want to date and love them.
 
KazeCraven said:
I don't feel like I can connect to a group, just to individuals.

And a sexual experience with more than one individual at a time seems... too unfocused and impersonal.
Click to expand...

I'll admit it...that's probably why I didn't mind it. I like to it to be aloof and just meaningless. I especially like it when you've been intimate with someone and then the next day you can just hop up and be friends and pretend like it never happened and NO ONE has feelings for each other because...because...they don't? Because it's not possible?

I don't know. I just don't like all that suffocating mushy gushy one on one intimate personal....bullshit.
 
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Breaking Benjamin - "Polyamorous" is likely not even about the phenomenon of living with more than one person. The consensus is that his "polyamorous friend" is just his sexual organ, craving more than one woman at a time. Polyamory does not imply by default wild orgies, sodomy or something of this sort. I imagine it could be quite civil and well working. I liked the situation in "Ordinary Decent Criminal", which is also rather a case of polyamory than patriarchal polygamy, because the two women also had equal position as being family to each other, not just through sharing a husband.

I'd only oppose it if it promotes the element of inequality, as traditional polygamy did.
 
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slant said:
Asexuals tend to compromise in relationships if they are dating sexual people. Sexual people have needs and if the asexual is compassionate enough they'll usually just give in.

And I haven't actually had 'sex' persay, so, I haven't actually had sex with anyone, I'm just saying, that when I've been in sexual situations its always been more comfortable when there is more than one person than just, one person. And I don't desire to have sex actually....you've all misinterpreted the first post as being I want to have these people sexually.

I do not. I just want to date and love them.
Click to expand...

the situation you are describing here is why i pursued polyamory for a number of years. i don't know if i am asexual but i desire sexiness and sexuality less than most and MUCH less than the person i was married to. around the fifteenth year of our marriage we realized how much this was compromising our friendship and emotional intimacy. i also require a lot of solitude and i realize in relationship with one person i can really contribute to their feeling of loneliness if they don't have other intimates.

i think i've always been emotionally polyamorous. i like having more than one person i can share my vulnerability, hopes, dreams, fun adventures etc with.

i'm glad i was monogamous for the first 15 years of my marriage because it helped us to really bond and gain trust. however, in the last seven years of our marriage i think polyamory helped us to maintain what we loved about our connection. and even still, after being divorced the last few years. we are still the best of friends. also, as a bisexual person, i also appreciated having a trusted partner to talk with as i explored my curiosity with women.

i think it's just one of the many options and some people might never have an interest. i think relationships can be just as healthy or unhealthy as monogamous relationships. there are pitfalls and benefits to both. i highly recommend reading "the ethical slut" if you are thinking of entering this lifestyle. one of the the critical factors is honesty and creating/honoring thoughtful negotiations with those involved. you can never assume that everyone feels the same way about each decision.

best of luck to you!
 
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