Physical Attractiveness

[Trifoilum]

There's a difference between 'acceptable standard' and 'attractiveness'. </note to self>

That being said; yes, attractive people tend to get the easy way. They are also tend to be considered as having a better personality. I'd said people have different standards, and attractiveness beyond that standard are 'bonus points' at least as far as our eyes are concerned.

Basically, people who are physically attractive are perceived and treated as better by virtually everyone

For a short time. Or alternatively, for a different kind of reason. Fortunately all people are not born with the same personality, and that's what keeps someone's affection longer. When interacting, especially considering romantic relationships which tend to use this the most, when you're idealized to spend a lifetime with a person, the limit's raised.

But :

1. Greater social power is experienced by those of higher as opposed to lower physical attractiveness.
2. All other things being equal, individuals of higher physical attractiveness are better liked than those of lower physical attractiveness.

is a ...well, not fallacy, but unfair comparison that doesn't give any consideration towards...everything else. How much's higher, 100 or 100+1? Unless we're talking about specific fidelity and/or loyalty, people would always choose the better ones.

I admit this is total reality for me; these exactly depicts..well, in my terms, a 'colour' within the huge painting of life. However, there's more than a single colour, and to use this as the sole driving force of life is pretty...hard, I should say. It's possible, but not everyone will like / get it, and it's going to be hard, again. >_>;

For me physical attractiveness is like, as IndigoSensor had said, a litmus test of a person.
"Oooh, good face! *check*, toned abs? YUM! *checks*, but wait, their face ain't symmetrical! And the eyes are shaped weird! *decreases* now what did he just say? *decreases* OH NO YOU DIDN'T *scraps*"

Well, people have individual standards; there will be those who reaches, those who exceeds, and those who didn't reach that standard. So a word of encouragement to those who'd felt "unconfident" ; don't be upset because of other standards. Just keep improving yourself.

 

[NeverAmI]

For me physical attractiveness is like, as IndigoSensor had said, a litmus test of a person.
"Oooh, good face! *check*, toned abs? YUM! *checks*, but wait, their face ain't symmetrical! And the eyes are shaped weird! *decreases* now what did he just say? *decreases* OH NO YOU DIDN'T *scraps*"

That is so weird, for me it isn't anything about specific details. I only find a person as a whole attractive. If I know 2 women and I find one attractive and one not, I would have a hard time telling you what specific traits changed my mind.

Of course saying certain things or personality differences can change my opinion. But if they say something stupid, it doesn't matter if I understand their overall intention.

 

[INTJMom]

Physical attractiveness isn't everything, nor does it come close. Intelligence, personality, and social ability have a lot to do with everything.

With that being said, being attractive makes life so much easier.

You reminded me of something I used to say,
"Beauty may be only skin-deep, but it helps."

 

[Solongo]

Great Thread Dragon!

should have included a poll.

 

[Trifoilum]

You reminded me of something I used to say,
"Beauty may be only skin-deep, but it helps."

You are so correct.

That is so weird, for me it isn't anything about specific details. I only find a person as a whole attractive. If I know 2 women and I find one attractive and one not, I would have a hard time telling you what specific traits changed my mind.

Of course saying certain things or personality differences can change my opinion.

I think I learned that from a circle of mine; all brilliant ladies. >_<; They KNOW (...to the point of anatomical understanding) about attractiveness (by know, I mean, they learned anatomy.) and I'd gamble they could explain pretty clearly about this guy and this girl and how they look so hot or not so hot or so and so and so...

Multiple factors could result in same kind of attractiveness, so that same kind of attractiveness could also be dissected. I tend to look at the whole picture, but when analyzing for potential partner...that kind of looking isn't detailed enough.

But if they say something stupid, it doesn't matter if I understand their overall intention.

I think our opinion differ on this. Intentions could be hid pretty well, but there's context, implications beneath each words, the way they're using it, the way they're saying it and more. There's also context within conversations, relationships, beliefs, etc hidden... I think that's harder to hide. Of course, sometimes it may be confusing and/or lying, but again, it's hard to understand but that doesn't mean it have to be ignored.

Example :
"Sure."
"Sure, whatever."
"Sure, that's the logical conclusion anyway."
"Sure, if that's what you want."
in my mind, that would be all pretty different.

 

[NeverAmI]

You are so correct.


I think I learned that from a circle of mine; all brilliant ladies. >_<; They KNOW (...to the point of anatomical understanding) about attractiveness (by know, I mean, they learned anatomy.) and I'd gamble they could explain pretty clearly about this guy and this girl and how they look so hot or not so hot or so and so and so...

Multiple factors could result in same kind of attractiveness, so that same kind of attractiveness could also be dissected. I tend to look at the whole picture, but when analyzing for potential partner...that kind of looking isn't detailed enough.

That makes sense, I think I tend to pick apart personalities MUCH more than I pick apart physical attraction.

I think our opinion differ on this. Intentions could be hid pretty well, but there's context, implications beneath each words, the way they're using it, the way they're saying it and more. There's also context within conversations, relationships, beliefs, etc hidden... I think that's harder to hide. Of course, sometimes it may be confusing and/or lying, but again, it's hard to understand but that doesn't mean it have to be ignored.

Example :
"Sure."
"Sure, whatever."
"Sure, that's the logical conclusion anyway."
"Sure, if that's what you want."
in my mind, that would be all pretty different.

We are probably saying the same thing in a different way, lol.

 

[Trifoilum]

That makes sense, I think I tend to pick apart personalities MUCH more than I pick apart physical attraction.

Me too. Part of my longterm goal is to learn enough language to express every personality with precising detail and subtlety. They too, but they're more experienced in both areas.

We are probably saying the same thing in a different way, lol.

LOL. Perhaps. Could you explain your reasoning?

In retrospect, I also tend to be more specific / picky in phrases, tho. (a.k.a plain niceties)

 

[Top cat]

Physical apparence is huge for me because it often leads into what a persons personality is like, and I am often right with it, so it is a good litmus.

I agree, I think it's very interesting that one can get useful information from a person's appearance. Personality etc. It's not completely superficial. I have had people tell me a few times in real life, or I've eavesdropped. They will talk about how I behave and say that that also appears in my photographs.


On the other hand, I've often got the opposite too. Where I come across the wrong way because my voice/words and face do not match what I mean to say. But I'm learning to combine the two. Maybe it's just introvertism.

 

[GaiaGraha]

Yes, this is true. It has been proven. I've read about it.
Some news station even did a whole documentary where they tested this theory and found out it was trrruuuuueeee!

I don't think it's something you can really avoid, it's a natural tendency to like people who are more attractive and to assume they are smarter, nicer, more well-adjusted, etc......

I guess if you hire people you can just choose to hire the ugly people even if you think that the pretty people are more well-suited for the job. lol. Combat the Phenomena!

 

[Reon]

Yes, this is true. It has been proven. I've read about it.
Some news station even did a whole documentary where they tested this theory and found out it was trrruuuuueeee!

I don't think it's something you can really avoid, it's a natural tendency to like people who are more attractive and to assume they are smarter, nicer, more well-adjusted, etc......

I guess if you hire people you can just choose to hire the ugly people even if you think that the pretty people are more well-suited for the job. lol. Combat the Phenomena!

[troll] Fucking gravity & evolution hasn't been proven yet. wonder how they proved this to be true. Especially with humans.[/troll]

A friend on the intj chat told me that his father did not specifically did not hire 'attractive' people and hired 'ugly' people because he found them to be more loyal and less likely to move to another company. Guess there are some benefits to being ugly?

 

[WellNoWonder]

That is so weird, for me it isn't anything about specific details. I only find a person as a whole attractive. If I know 2 women and I find one attractive and one not, I would have a hard time telling you what specific traits changed my mind.

Of course saying certain things or personality differences can change my opinion. But if they say something stupid, it doesn't matter if I understand their overall intention.

!!!!! Edited to add, seemingly, I am attracted to uncoventional people. But really is the spirit underneath the surface that compels me to be drawn to them. I am totally not looking at features. It has nothing to do with idealism.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[slant]

I've often made assumptions that the more 'good looking' society wise people are of higher social standing than others.

Being asexual, I feel I'm less influenced my physical attractiveness over my decisions but I do see how others use the judgment on me and others.

Once, a male friend of mine tried to imply that he didn't sleep with good looking girls because they were more selfish in bed because they were used to getting what they wanted. I'd asked if he'd had any evidence or firsthand experience of that, and he said no, it just seemed like they were based on how selfish good looking women were in friendships in general. I asked if he though that opinion was a bit of a generalization and biased, and he truly believed it.

I didn't really understand how you could take such a large group of people and assume that just because they look a certain way they ARE a certain way. Some of these attractive people weren't always considered attractive and to imply that because of how attractive people are treated that over the years it would have turned them into a bitter, selfish person PURELY based on how they look on the exterior is nonsense.

And of course, you have the element that the good looking guy who hits on chicks is awesome and the odd looking one is a 'creep' for making the same sexual remarks as the obviously more attractive one.

Really. This physical attractiveness thing is something I observe on a daily basis and it does tend to itch me the wrong way.

 

[Celsius100]

Something that I'm wondering about that might be of interest to bring up... I'm assuming that these varying reports aren't just using a single 'standard of beauty' so to speak, correct? Unless I've completely misunderstood a lot of the people I've talked with, it seems that most people seem to have a personal standard that may or may not coincide completely with others.

I know personally, that I've had friends who have been fawning over the appearance of someone I personally didn't find terribly attractive from a physical standpoint. Likewise, I've found a strong physical attraction before to others that my friends simply responded with distaste.

I will definitely agree that as a concept, most of that definitely does apply whether we admit it or not. I just am interested how it's defining it, because calling a 'universal beauty' still seems a tad far fetched to me.

 

[TheLastMohican]

Are you all going to be so blind that you will attempt to deny that this is how the world works?

Hmmm, I guess I'd better agree with everything you said, lest I appear blind and naive.

But I can still bring up some qualifiers. First and foremost, the claim that physical attractiveness is "most important" is too lacking in context to mean anything. If you're picking strangers out of a lineup, then of course physical appearance matters more than anything else, because that is all that you know about the people. If you start talking to them, then you can further distinguish between people you would and wouldn't like. If you then live with each of them for a month at a time, you'll become aware of a lot more reasons to like or dislike them. The importance of physical attractiveness is not a stable quantity.
Secondly, some people's perceptions of physical attractiveness change with knowledge of personality. A person might initially rank strangers' physical attractiveness levels, but later switch them around after developing likes of dislikes for some of them.
Thirdly, your blanket statements limit the scope to sexual relationships, which one should expect to be decided primarily on appearances, again because physical attractiveness is the first trait that it is possible to assess when approaching a person. If you are not impressed by it at first, then you don't have much reason to probe for other traits that you might like. If you could have an immediate choice between a great body/horrible personality and a great personality/horrible body in a person with whom you will have to live for the rest of your life, then your "immediate total knowledge" (an unrealistic scenario) changes the game significantly, and that physical attractiveness might not seem quite as important anymore.

 

[under skies]

What about people who don't place much value on "social power"? Maybe it is something that is important to you, but not all people feel that way, so it doesn't affect their level of happiness as much as it might others.

I would agree that physical attraction matters in relationships. Love without physical attraction only leads to ... well, a very platonic, albeit very strong friendship. However, at the same time, physical attractiveness is very subjective. One person could look at a guy and think he's absolutely gorgeous and another person could look at him and never figure out what's so appealing about him at all. So how can you be sure how accurately you're gaging someone's "social power"?

 

[Top cat]

I think when Dragon says that the world works this way, he means to say the majority of people are like this. And I agree.

But it really depends on the context --I think the main idea is appearance, attractive or not, you can use it to your advantage/disadvantage.

I admit I've done some bad things in the past too and have got away with it because I look and sound "innocent." Not because of good looks. I may be considered the ugly duckling in my family lol. So yes. I have used my looks to get what I want. It's the same idea as certain styles of clothing.. some suit you, some don't. I can pull off looking like a 'certain type of person', several types. And then some not at all.
Also there are people in my classes who get more attention because they look 'intelligent' -people, the teacher will listen to what they say and take it to heart... which is not always the attractive ones. I think most of the attractive ones are assumed as stupid at first glance, caring only about things that don't matter etc. But it has to be a specific look.

My past boss somehow told me before that I was hired based on my appearance (I forget how that came about). I didn't hand in a CV, I talked to 'second in command' and she just assumed. She was wrong of course. But I got what I needed...?



It's interesting because I really am not good looking but I often get approached by handsome guys and pretty girls. Even on my bad hair days. And they are obviously good looking. The type of girl that talks to me.. I start to see a pattern actually. I can probably point out which ones will be comfortable around me and which ones will ignore me. They are both pretty but it is a certain kind of pretty. In any case I wonder at times, they seem to be the kind of people who would only talk to you if you were good-looking so I wonder what they want with me.
I've also had friends who weren't treated well by other classmates based on how they looked. In my experience actually the attractive ones are shunned.. thought of as airheads. But I think it's the environment I'm in. I can imagine it's the opposite in the other world.

 

[BlinkandThink]

Even if a person is interested in presenting an image (rebellious, innocent, wacky, intelligent, etc), his/her options increase by being beautiful as well.


But options aren't everything ...

 

[Quinlan]

The thing is, the most physically attractive people I know to begin with were nothing special in regards to looks, it was only as I got to know them that I appreciated them more and began to find more and more things I liked about their looks. This kind of physical attraction to me is much more powerful and lasting than any kneejerk initial assessment.

 

[Isis]

I can agree that physical attractiveness is the most important quality initially when sizing people up. Everybody gets sized up, it's a matter of seconds, and this determines whether you're interested in getting to know the person in a more deeper level or not. Some people only go with this kind of approach while others can "ignore" the initial reaction and discover the "beauty" after all.

What is attractive to people individually differs to a great deal, though. And there's "beauty" in "ugliness" as well.

 

[perpetual_liar]

I completely agree that physical attractiveness is one of the biggest things people see in others, at least during the development of the famous first impression, which is usually accepted to take a damn long time to change.

It's a primitive thing, that I don't think will ever change.

However, people's perceptions of what's hot are completely different for each person.

Also, ugly people often end up using it to their advantage as an endearing characteristic.

For lack of better example, I'm going to use Jon English.

Ugliest bloke you ever saw. Massive success.
He easily upstaged Simon Gallaher, who was a bit more than good looking, you have to admit.