Personality types and reactions

[Gaze]

One of the most significant factors affecting social interaction between people of different types is how each type reacts to different types of situations. It seems the most important to truly understanding types, but the least understood or most misunderstood. Feelers expect Thinkers to react as they do, and Thinkers expect Feelers to react as they do.

So, what does it mean to be your type and react to different kinds of situations? What do you think is commonly misunderstood about your type and their reactions?

 

[LittleElf]

Well my estj grandmother and mother freak out when you put the plates into the cupboards the wrong way. I on the other hand dont give a flying sh*t about that. (Somehow I think you had different examples in mind

 

[Gaze]

Well my estj grandmother and mother freak out when you put the plates into the cupboards the wrong way. I on the other hand dont give a flying sh*t about that. (Somehow I think you had different examples in mind

Actually those are good examples. My ISFJ mom worries about the look of things and appearances and drove me crazy growing up with it. Although ambiance is important, as an INFP, I value comfort more.

 

[LittleElf]

Yes, SJs tend to sweat the small stuff. When you observe it from afar it can be amusing, but when they drag you right into it its horrible.

 

[CindyLou]

Well my estj grandmother and mother freak out when you put the plates into the cupboards the wrong way. I on the other hand dont give a flying sh*t about that. (Somehow I think you had different examples in mind

Ah, dated an istj that told me I folded the towels incorrectly when I put them away. He wasn't being terribly mean about it but still! I couldn't have been more turned off than I was at that moment haha.

 

[LittleElf]

Ah, dated an istj that told me I folded the towels incorrectly when I put them away. He wasn't being terribly mean about it but still! I couldn't have been more turned off than I was at that moment haha.

Hahaha. See now you know why I think E/ISTJs are not a good match for Infjs!

 

[Brodskizzle]

My INTP friend mentions a party we had to a friend who was not invited. I get really nervous and feel bad for the third friend and start trying to do damage control because of my uber-temperamental FJ, and my classically TP friend doesn't have the slightest clue why I'm worried.

 

[Capt Charisma]

They usually throw rocks at me then I have to go back inside ad stare at them through the front window. To which they approach my house... To which my response is... explosive...

 

[5r6jhd]

I have too many examples for words!

I've been trying to type my ex...I think he might have been an ISTP. I have come to the conclusion ISTPs and INFJs make bad bad couples. We had a great fire when it was fun, but it quickly became a drag. I don't think INFJs are well suited to STs at all....

At least for me personally, I think its one of the other, not both. I could date a thinker, not so sure if Icould date a sensor.

We just had completely different emotional reactions which constantly clashed as I don't know if we could see each others perspective very clearly, or when we did maybe we were too mad to care.

I'm pretty awful at typing people, so it's hard to say with my family! Lets just say none of them understand INFJs or why we do the things we do.

 

[Sriracha]

So, what does it mean to be your type and react to different kinds of situations? What do you think is commonly misunderstood about your type and their reactions?

I think I have had years of learning how to cope with situations in a productive manner. If I find myself in situations that I don't think I handled or reacted appropriately, I store that information as a learning experience and learn from it. For the most part, I want my reaction to produce a harmonious/agreeable end result.

Now for the INFJ doorslam. I still do it and it happens when I've reached the point where I can't deal with what ever anymore (which is VERY rare in real life.) It may be viewed as childish; however the situation that calls for an INFJ doorslam is different for all of us. On my part I have noticed it is when something negative starts, and builds and builds ... I try to diffuse it, and I cannot. So the best thing for me is the cut it out of my life.

I unfortunately have a very expressive face and my facial reaction is quick ... which is a disadvantage when I feel a certain way, but know I have to behave opposite (and the other person has already seen my expression.) UGH!!! I have had to learn quite a bit about controlling this while in court. It is court etiquette to be plain-faced. During those times I've learned to bow my head down so my facial reaction is not seen.

I don't think type has anything to do with being misunderstood. I feel I am very good at communicating my thoughts and feelings with others in order to reach a solution (in real life.) Online I'm detached from people, so unless it is someone I consider a friend ... I don't care.

 

[Gaze]

NFs are often more sensitive to the emotional content in tone and body language. This means if someone ways something which "sounds" negative or has a critical tone to it simply based on how it's said, they may be likely to react to it and get upset or at least annoyed. I often hear that as a type, we can't take criticism. This often comes from NTs. Problem is NTs may think they are simply being honest and direct with someone, and assume that they are helping that person by directly saying how they feel or think about someone, not realizing that this could be interpreted an attack or accusation. Expressing a personal judgment to someone's face directly is not going to be welcomed. It's more likely going to be seen as an insult, despite that the intent was the opposite. This seems to be a common point of contention for NF vs. NT types.

 

[5r6jhd]

Yuuup! I have that problem a lot with people...they have a rude tone or use certain wording and it just rubs my up the wrong way.

 

[Nixie]

One of the most significant factors affecting social interaction between people of different types is how each type reacts to different types of situations. It seems the most important to truly understanding types, but the least understood or most misunderstood. Feelers expect Thinkers to react as they do, and Thinkers expect Feelers to react as they do.

So, what does it mean to be your type and react to different kinds of situations? What do you think is commonly misunderstood about your type and their reactions?

Unless one becomes aware that their own perceptions cloud most of what we do/say/hear. I would say it is almost an automatic, natural reflex. You have to train yourself to see and understand that everyone is operating under a set of beliefs/conditioning that is different from yours. One key element in getting along is 1. your ability to be flexible. 2. your ability to know and understand how you see the world. 3. your ability to listen and comprehend the "other" 4. how divergent you and the "other" are or more accurately, how divergent you believe you are.

 

[the]

NFs pretty much have their head in the clouds and want to talk about irrelevant bs and never do anything about it. They are also very excitable at times but in an annoying way. Luckily they are socially able at times so I like them in most cases.

NTs like to tell you how right or wrong you are and usually do it in a way I dont care for. Eventually they act like a blatent asshole and get written off.

STs are okay but can be over bearing, especially when they dont value the same details that I do and try to get me to go along with them.

SFs are pretty cool, but over react emotionally sometimes. Other than that I like them a lot.

 

[Nixie]

NFs pretty much have their head in the clouds and want to talk about irrelevant bs and never do anything about it. They are also very excitable at times but in an annoying way. Luckily they are socially able at times so I like them in most cases.

NTs like to tell you how right or wrong you are and usually do it in a way I dont care for. Eventually they act like a blatent asshole and get written off.

STs are okay but can be over bearing, especially when they dont value the same details that I do and try to get me to go along with them.

SFs are pretty cool, but over react emotionally sometimes. Other than that I like them a lot.

You know you love me.

 

[the]

You know you love me.

Oh stop it, you know I cant resist!

 

[LittleElf]

NFs pretty much have their head in the clouds and want to talk about irrelevant bs and never do anything about it. They are also very excitable at times but in an annoying way. Luckily they are socially able at times so I like them in most cases.

NTs like to tell you how right or wrong you are and usually do it in a way I dont care for. Eventually they act like a blatent asshole and get written off.

STs are okay but can be over bearing, especially when they dont value the same details that I do and try to get me to go along with them.

SFs are pretty cool, but over react emotionally sometimes. Other than that I like them a lot.

Isnt it funny how I (NF) think what my SJ family talks about is irrevelant BS?? :laugh:

 

[SandMizzle]

I think the most misunderstandings appear between N- and S-types. As you can see in the posts above, the S-types write that N-types talk about irrelevant BS, but on the other hand I as an N think that what S-types talk about is often BS. It's all about priorities I guess... (N is more about abstract ideas, S is more about practical things)

I have also one example: In this case it's about my long time best friened who is an INFP. We get along pretty well, lived together for about a year and meet regularly nowadays. He often talks about his problems with me (we trust each other like noone else) and asks for advice. But then the whole thing gets bad... When I tell him, what I think is wrong or what he or another one could do better, he starts to get upset. I just want to be honest and if I ask for advice I don't want to be handled with kid cloves either... that doesn't help in any way. If I want to get rid of a prblem, I need to know the positive and the negative things about it and about my behavior. So, after telling him what I think a struggle starts that can last for hours. The funny thing is, when he follows my advice he gets rid of the problem, everything is ok, and he will ask me for advice with his next problem, I just don't get F-types sometimes, even though I like them... I know they need emotional support, but why does he ask me everytime then? He has other F-friends to solace him.

 

[Zebraf301]

NFs pretty much have their head in the clouds and want to talk about irrelevant bs and never do anything about it. They are also very excitable at times but in an annoying way. Luckily they are socially able at times so I like them in most cases.

NTs like to tell you how right or wrong you are and usually do it in a way I dont care for. Eventually they act like a blatent asshole and get written off.

STs are okay but can be over bearing, especially when they dont value the same details that I do and try to get me to go along with them.

SFs are pretty cool, but over react emotionally sometimes. Other than that I like them a lot.

As far as having our heads in the clouds, its more accurate to say, not interested in the mundane. Enlighten me, what constitutes as BS? Is talking at length about doing taxes detail to God forsaken detail, like my istj uncle does better? I think that the SJ co-worker raving on and on about updating a room with some stupid mass produced decorative thing he got, and where he's going to put it, and how it would fit 'just so' on some stupid shelf I've never seen, blah blah blah blah, instead of the probability that some Chinese person, and the environment were badly exploited in order to manufacture it, and recognising the problem with our burn some gas and buy some stuff mentality, and that exploitation being overlooked in favour of greed, is BS. Is that the kind of BS you speak of? Examples. This is an INFJ forum after all.

 

[the]

Isnt it funny how I (NF) think what my SJ family talks about is irrevelant BS?? :laugh:

As far as having our heads in the clouds, its more accurate to say, not interested in the mundane. Enlighten me, what constitutes as BS? Is talking at length about doing taxes detail to God forsaken detail, like my istj uncle does better? I think that the SJ co-worker raving on and on about updating a room with some stupid mass produced decorative thing he got, and where he's going to put it, and how it would fit 'just so' on some stupid shelf I've never seen, blah blah blah blah, instead of the probability that some Chinese person, and the environment were badly exploited in order to manufacture it, and recognising the problem with our burn some gas and buy some stuff mentality, and that exploitation being overlooked in favour of greed? Is that the kind of BS you speak of? Er what?

NFs also take my generalized opinions about things very personally.