People Nattering | INFJ Forum

People Nattering

CoffeeShopDiva

CoffeeShopDiva

Community Member
Jan 18, 2009
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Why are people always talking at me? I find there are these people in my life who feel the need to be constantally yabbering at me. Even when I make minimal social interjections, they still don't seem to notice I'm not interested.

I don't want these people to be always talking at me, because I find they encroach on my personal space. But, at the same time, I feel rude for ignoring them.

What do I do?
 
People take silence as license to talk yer damned head off. Being a good listener doesn't mean you have to be a constant listener. Just say something weird, shocking, obscure, or confusing. Its like a Rubik's Cube and you can make your hasty departure while they're trying to figure out what you're talking about.
 
Put some headphones on (they don't need to be connected to anything - trail the lead into your pocket - nobody will know). Then when people start with their jibber jabber, smile blankly at them.
 
Helpful Elf said:
Put some headphones on (they don't need to be connected to anything - trail the lead into your pocket - nobody will know). Then when people start with their jibber jabber, smile blankly at them.
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Thats a good idea. Too bad I have to answer phones though. :S
 
CoffeeShopDiva said:
Too bad I have to answer phones though. :S
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Ahhh. Bummer. Well another trick is to look engrossed in a book ( or work related manual if you're at work). It will at least make people think twice about interrupting you- but if they're the rude persistent kind, tell them you need to get to the end of the chapter, then you'll listen to them. Chances are they won't wait.
 
Helpful Elf said:
Ahhh. Bummer. Well another trick is to look engrossed in a book ( or work related manual if you're at work). It will at least make people think twice about interrupting you- but if they're the rude persistent kind, tell them you need to get to the end of the chapter, then you'll listen to them. Chances are they won't wait.
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I try and look absorbed in my work, they keep talking.

And its often WAY TMI!
 
watch my youtube video on small talk.

[YOUTUBE]ladevl11KOo[/YOUTUBE]
 
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I get this too. Folks are constantly talking away at me. I think I must give off 'friendly' vibes, or at least 'too polite to tell you to shut up' ones.

If I'm in a good enough mood I'll indulge them a little. But thankfully most of them don't seem to care that I'm clearly staring off into space and contributing nothing to the conversation.

They're never friends of mine either. We might just barely be acquaintances for the duration of a class or something.
 
I've had a pretty annoying-filled life and as a result, have mastered the skill of zoning out. Plus I figure, if they feel like encroaching on my personal space and filling the air with noise pollution, I also have the right to ignore. Somehow, nobody seems to notice me ignoring them though and the conversation just keeps on keepin on. Maybe it's the placid serene self-satisfied countenance as I consider my own thoughts, half-listening to the yamming on about sister-in-law's cooking and grandson's athletic achievements.. Meh.
 
You could try this:
2009-04-29-one-sided.gif
 
I like the comic.
I think I will take the tip from the last one.
I'm sure it won't win me any friends.
Ah. Well..
 
I get creepy people wanting to tell me about their whatever. It doesn't usually make sense either. It is like listening to a six year old who just wants attention. And it is what they want too. I usually just wait it out, it is weird and no I don't care at all. I feel rude and they need the attention, but I also resent them and feel put upon. I will give them about ten min. and then I have to go get water, go pee, or something. I make an excuse and leave.

It doesn't sound like that is an option for you though Coffee shop Diva. I would probably tell them that you have work, you need to get it done and maybe, you can talk on break or some other time. Be nice but honest, if they get upset, it isn't your problem.
 
Talk about bunnies with machettes, or laugh about maddie mccann...

"That photo the parents released is wrong, in it she's smiling"
 
CoffeeShopDiva said:
Why are people always talking at me? I find there are these people in my life who feel the need to be constantally yabbering at me. Even when I make minimal social interjections, they still don't seem to notice I'm not interested.

I don't want these people to be always talking at me, because I find they encroach on my personal space. But, at the same time, I feel rude for ignoring them.

What do I do?
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Invite them to talk with you while you walk - then just make a bee-line for the nearest restroom/bathroom. At the door of the bathroom excuse yourself with a farewell that doesn't invite him/her to wait for you to exit.
 
Just pretend to listen to them and retreat into your own world. Nod and smile occasionally and say yes! and just think whatever you think is more interesting and important to think about. That way, you retain friendships and dont waste your time :D

this is what I do anyway;)
 
I usually just smile, and say "sorry I have to be going". That way you show some kind of warmth and non-rejection as a person, but by physically leaving the environment you create a clear boundary they don't have control to cross.
 
there was this one boy who wouldn't leave me alone first year in university and he was extremely nice (in the literal sense of the word), too helpful and very talkative. none of my usual "i'm not interested" expressions worked and it only fueled his enthusiasm at becoming my "best friend". i began to avoid him like the plague as it was hard to be mean to him when he was being friendly without second thought that could have been suffocating. sometimes, a firm explanation is the best to get the point across when time calls for it.
 
sometimes, a firm explanation is the best to get the point across when time calls for it.
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Which entails what? a polite, "stfu?"
How do you explain to someone that you want them to stop talking to you? Is it just like that?

I consider myself a 'people' person. It's not that I don't want to engage in chit-chat because I find people the bane of my existence... It's just that I don't have the energy for it. It irritates and frustrates and drains me to talk about things that don't really need to be said.

Like sometimes I'll have a stupid thought and consider uttering it aloud only to pause and then contemplate the energy I would expend and the unleashing of a conversation I haven't consumed the calories to carry out... and then not say anything.

My roommate tells me that sort of thing is intimidating to people. She said that's how she felt when she met me. Which I don't want to come off as.
 
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alt ctrl del said:
Which entails what? a polite, "stfu?"
How do you explain to someone that you want them to stop talking to you? Is it just like that?

I consider myself a 'people' person. It's not that I don't want to engage in chit-chat because I find people the bane of my existence... It's just that I don't have the energy for it. It irritates and frustrates and drains me to talk about things that don't really need to be said.

Like sometimes I'll have a stupid thought and consider uttering it aloud only to pause and then contemplate the energy I would expend and the unleashing of a conversation I haven't consumed the calories to carry out... and then not say anything.

My roommate tells me that sort of thing is intimidating to people. She said that's how she felt when she met me. Which I don't want to come off as.
Click to expand...

I find myself agreeing with everything you said. Thanks for putting that into words.
 
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