tbh, there's a ton of double standard. I've been assertive, and people still ignored me. I've been aggressive, and have people just look at me like I'm odd. While I've seen others be assertive and aggressive, and the path is suddenly paved smoothly and they get whatever they want. So, depends on the person and how others perceive the style they're using. If I'm too forceful or decisive, then someone may say, "wow, that's a bit much, that person has issues." While someone else does the same thing, and they're commended for being firm, authoritative, and sure. Yes, it's nice to believe that if you're assertive you'll get everything you want, but it depends on how someone sees it.
Well. My opinion.
Are you assertive, or can it be seen as bitchy. I'm not calling you that. I'm asking. Cause people that are bitchy get ignored. And I'm really going to get in trouble for this. But I think some women feel they need to over compensate.
I have noticed these women create fear, but not respect. And like wise men that just shoot orders are feared, but are not respected.
I want respect, and then to be feared.
In other words, I want my team to talk and communicate. I look them directly in the eye. I'm not too light hearted, but not over bearing either. I struggle with being to the point, but don't get me wrong. I know how to be. And with people I have no history with, I'm to the point.
So I maintain people should be direct, not too aggressive or bitchy, but assertive, to the point, and focused.
Look people in the eye. Slightly smile or at least not look threatening. And ask clearly for what you want.
I don't highlight what I'll do if I don't get my way. In business, everyone wants something. True for personal relationships as well, but harder to get at what they want. Use this to your advantage. Find out what they want, if you can, and barter. But if you are the customer, or the boss, or even a team mate, you are in a position to make requests/demands.
Or if it's a personal relationship, then you're a partner. Different dynamic.
I don't tend to argue with friends or my wife about what I want. If I had to fight for what I want, I'd still focus on what they want.
If you're having trouble getting service in a store, then quietly talk to the manager.
Dealing with the public is a horrible job.
If you approach them like ur crazy, they will probably be slow to help you. Always get farther being respectful.
Just my experience.