Passionate personalities | INFJ Forum

Passionate personalities

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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So, many of us are are passionate in one way or another. But I'm curious how we match that passion with others in friendships or romantic relationships. How much passion in someone's personality is too much? Is there such a thing as not enough passion in someone's personality? Do you tend to think a friend or partner is less interesting if they are not as passionate as you? Or do you think your passion can be too much for others?
 
I would say that there is such a thing as too much passion when it hinders connecting with someone else. I appreciate the energy and fire of someone who feels strongly. I think when it gets to the point that the other person is overtly self involved and constantly speaks about one or two things, there is a problem.

I'm not very clingy most of the time, so there is a lot of leeway in my partner's to have their "own thing".....because I expect the time/distance to do my "own thing" too. I would think that for something to become an issue, it would have to obsessive. Sometimes when people have a "passion", they like to broadcast their feelings and/or make judgments about people who do/don't share their views. This type of action is bound to cause conflict with me.

I will flat out run over someone who allows me to. So, if you have a weak personality or are too accommodating, things will end badly with me. I shy away from people who are unable to engage with me on a personal level...it isn't worth my time to beg someone to find the courage to speak up or whatnot around me. I can be rather cavalier about this. People with little passion don't hold much interest with me. Cardboard cutouts.
 
You never hear anyone say ''my relationship fell apart because there was too much passion in it''
 
For romantic relationships, I think that passion is positive as an element of a relationship, not as a foundation of it though. As an element I find it good and healthy, as a foundation I find it unhealthy.
 
For romantic relationships, I think that passion is positive as an element of a relationship, not as a foundation of it though. As an element I find it good and healthy, as a foundation I find it unhealthy.

Why do you think it's unhealthy as a foundation?
 
How much passion in someone's personality is too much?

Definition passion: strong and barely controllable emotion (Oxford Dictionary)

I'm in the camp who think that passion is overrated. Feelers probably think that someone "is less interesting if they are not as passionate as you". But I lose interest if someone is passionate because it's usually a sign of fickle person. I used to work for a company of Feelers. That was horrible. Everyone was passionate, and so lots of office politics, and nothing achieved.
 
Why do you think it's unhealthy as a foundation?

Because I think that a healthy serious relationship should be based on love, respect, selflessness, helping each other...in other words I think that a healthy long-term relationship should be based on spirituality rather than on physicality.
When passion is the only foundation, that means that there is some kind of mystery factor involved, when you know that you're incredibly attracted to someone but don't know why...which makes the relationship more or less based on some unconscious/subconscious factor rather than on really knowing each other and caring for each other.

There can be a lot of appeal to the raw passion and mystery factor, and I've experienced it myself, but in the end it always turns out that such relationships have at least some unhealthy aspects. That was my experience at least.
 
Like many things, passion has it's pros and cons. In this instance, I'm referring to passion in personalities, not necessarily romantic passion. I find that I am attracted to people with passionate personalities because it reflects a sense of investment and caring. However, it can be a bit much when they are too imposing, assuming their passionate concerns are more important than someone else's concerns. Particularly, when someone gets carried away and doesn't know when to pull back. I've been on either side, so I can't judge. But I've realized that too little can make it difficult to feel as if there's enough to keep someone engaged or interested, and too much can make someone feel overwhelmed and withdraw. Depends on personal preferences or tastes. I think it's nice when you meet someone who can be as passionate as you are because it makes you feel as if you're understood. However, you can drive each other crazy with all that pent up passion and frustration. :D
 
I think we can be passionate about whatever.
 
I think it's okay to be anywhere on the spectrum, as long as people can be honest to themselves and other about how they feel about something. Personally I see it as too much when a person seems to be making something over nothing.
 
Passion is good, but can be also bad. I mean, serial-killers have passion in their work. And also bad boys.

I always saw passion as a commitment to its object. While enthusiasm is only temporarly excitement, and then the objects becomes boring for the subject, passion is a long run, which hopefully increases along time. I also think the "passion-less" person actually has a passion: to be enthusiastic, to feel excitement over new things.

And yes, I do like people who have passion, a lot of passion.
 
I really enjoy passionate people. [MENTION=1669]Framed[/MENTION] as you said, it shows me that they really care and are invested in their interest. It makes me smile and really listen to what they have to say, regardless if I agree or not. If they become obsessive about the topic, then it may become too much, but I will always be willing to listen.

When I am passionate about a topic, I know I can come on too strong and I appreciate a person that likes this and will listen to what I have to say. I don't do that often because I pretty much keep to myself, but if I feel really passionate about something then it's on.:m182: But I try not to let my emotions run wild like that. I keep it in check most of the time.
 
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Phil Robertson seems pretty passionate and honest, but where is that going to get him? I'm going to buy a Phil Robertson shirt today, if there are any left.
 
I had a gay best friend who was very passionate but he could not focus that passion anywhere without his hand being held. Like, he would talking about becoming a medical assistant or traveling to japan or going skydiving... and yet he never put it in action. He was veryy passionate about all these things but it wasn't until his friends pushed him to do it, that he actually did. I think this kind of behavior is detrimental. If you talk about doing something over and over, then ACTUALLY do it on YOUR OWN terms. He really needed to learn focus.... he finally has... but shit.... misguided passion in a person is a big turnoff.
 
I had a gay best friend who was very passionate but he could not focus that passion anywhere without his hand being held. Like, he would talking about becoming a medical assistant or traveling to japan or going skydiving... and yet he never put it in action. He was veryy passionate about all these things but it wasn't until his friends pushed him to do it, that he actually did. I think this kind of behavior is detrimental. If you talk about doing something over and over, then ACTUALLY do it on YOUR OWN terms. He really needed to learn focus.... he finally has... but shit.... misguided passion in a person is a big turnoff.

This is true. I've done this myself where I go on and on about doing something and how I want to do it, but usually because of circumstances I never made that step. It can be annoying for friends to keeping hearing that you want to do something but watch you never take the first step. At some point, it becomes a case of either do it or quit talking about it so much if you're not. :D
 
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This is true. I've done this myself where I go on and on about doing something and how I want to do it, but usually because of circumstances I never made that step. It can annoying for friends to keeping hearing that you want to do something but watch you never take the first step. At some point, it becomes a case of either do it or quit talking about it so much if you're not. :D

Yeah I do the same. I talk about how I really want a gluten free makeup line that could be affordable for women.... but I've started actually researching ways on how to make lipstick, etc. I always felt like he took it to another level though. Like, he would say he was going to look at a school for it.... and never did although he was out of work, had the time to do it, and his pamphlets were in front of him. Idk, the kid was just a mess and a real slacker.
 
Yeah I do the same. I talk about how I really want a gluten free makeup line that could be affordable for women.... but I've started actually researching ways on how to make lipstick, etc.

DOITTTT!!!!!!!