Online Honesty | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Online Honesty

Just noticed how old some of these posts are...
Dig a thread up from the grave why don't you?
 
I try and let a person be who they are while trying to maintain who I am
This value is important to me too. As a care worker I tried to give the other person as much room as possible, within the caring relationship. Whenever I had the chance to lead a group for a voluntary exercise etc. I would want people to collaborate, and wanted to empower everyone to have their important role, rather than bark orders.

"would I willingly do that in good conscience?", or "should I say this in that way?", to find the answer I have to run it up my values and beliefs...of which I had to identify--name & claim them--accept that I have flaws equal to good traits and begin living from there.
This is good, anger or impulsiveness sometimes get the better of me before I can think things through properly. But I think your right it should be a constant moment to moment assessment.

When I 'call a person out' I do so respectfully
Great, sound and wise. How great to be able to call someone out respectfully, and in turn receive understanding and respect back! This is really a good example of emotional intelligence and good communication skills.

here's an example of the 'contradiction', I say the above yet discredit the president in other threads for being a Dumbass. The reason I "call him out" as such is my opinion that he has been elected to represent the voice of the people...
Yes I find this interesting. I can come across as aloof and uninterested in a new group, and then I might get a wiff of someone who is ignored and vulnerable, looked down on, or whatever - and open up to that person and transform from x to y person in-front of everyone's eyes. It's like I change as the situation demands, and in line with my beliefs / feelings.

This kind of thing is what confuses people about INFJ's and their mysterious ways of using parables, metaphors, euphemisms, style & flair, "codes" etc. to get our point across.
Ha ha! And people can miss what it's all about.
 
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In person, I'm more of a deep thinker and keen listener. I often want to drag the conversation to about 5 minutes earlier, as I've usually run through all the variables in my mind by then and selected what I think is the least offensive and uplifting response.

I'm by no means quiet, but I have learned to let the wow look at me gobshites have the floor until I think things through.