On your own | INFJ Forum

On your own

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by SpoofyMcPoof, Oct 28, 2009.

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  1. SpoofyMcPoof

    SpoofyMcPoof Community Member

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    I just graduated from college and started my job a couple months ago, which required me to move away from everything I know to a state six hours away. I am now living in a city that I barely know, with only two people to call friend.

    I wanted to get the heck out of my hometown and my house when I was there. It took me two and a half months but I finally miss home a little. I think I just realized now that my life made such a big change. I'm suddenly stuck on thinking about my childhood days ect.

    How did all of you (those of you who have) feel when you went off on your own? How do those of you still stuck at home feel about the subject?
     
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  2. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I spent a year abroad in the Netherlands, where I literally didn't know anyone, or even a whole lot about the language, culture, etc.

    It was a love-hate relationship. I loved the freedom, the self-sufficiency, the independence...but the loneliness was very painful at times. It took it a while to set in, though. Don't be afraid to branch out and meet new people -- it can be hard feeling totally alone.
     
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  3. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    I also moved away from my home town. I still had family close though. However, when I lived by myself, I didn't strive to meet anyone new. I eventually became quite depressed and lonely. Once I started focusing on friendships and finding a few good people, things were considerably better.

    I don't mind living on my own, but sometimes you need someone good around.
     
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  4. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I left home at 18, the 1st year was very hard for me without my support systems (my family) I fell into a deep depression, but I eventually got over it and learned to live on my own efficiently.
     
  5. Atlas

    Atlas Newbie

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    Congratulations, this sounds like the making of a big adventure if you want it to be!
     
  6. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    I started living on my own since the age of 15. I had no support system whatsoever. I worked and went to school and completely missed the supposed happy high school years. Even when I tried to tell others how I was alone and I was living alone no one understood. Plus I was afraid somebody might call child protective agency on me. But I grew very tough because of it. It was one of the hardest experiences, tending for yourself as a young teenage girl. I could have gotten into a lot of messed up situations, but I always knew I had to protect myself so I was always extra careful. I hated doing little things to maintain lifestyle from cooking, cleaning, shopping...pretty much making responsible decisions that would have been made by my parents or who ever looked after me.

    After two years I grew into my own and being on my own is like a second nature to me now. But I never undervalue friendships and meaningful connections. Even if you have zero people skills you should always make an attempt to meet new people and connect. It has been proven that you live longer and less prone to physical sicknesses on top of the benefit of feeling connected.

    Also, if you have hobbies, interests there are always clubs, organizations etc that are open to people.
     
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    #6 Solongo, Oct 31, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2009
  7. Madison

    Madison Regular Poster

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    InnerFlame,

    I had mixed feelings.

    My first Christmas season overseas in Asia felt incredibly lonely. The thought of spending Christmas alone, away from my family in my tiny apartment was depressing. But instead of being alone that day, I spent time with two friends from university who were living an hour away. However, at the same time there was a part of me that was glad to be across the pacific ocean during the holidays because I felt liberated from familial negativity. Only phone calls to my sister reminded me of the strife that I was missing at home. When the phone calls ended I thought to myself, "I'm in Asia! Look how far away I am from North America! Why would I want to go back home to that for Christmas?"

    It sounds like you have an opportunity to have a fresh start.
     
  8. Us er Na me:

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    I couldnt wait to leave my hometown. It was fairly large 100,000+ people. What I wound up missing the most was 27 years worth of friends, that I didnt have at my new place. It takes me forever to build strong friendships. Try calling your old friends to talk, it really does help.
     

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