Self-Sacrificing
Code: SAC
Disorder: Self-Defeating a.k.a. Masochistic (removed from DSM-IV's personality disorders)
Enneagram: 2w1, 9w1
Variant: Social
Myers-Briggs: ESFJ, ENFJ
Function: Extraverted Feeling
Description: To live is to serve; to love is to give. These are axioms for individuals who have the Self-Sacrificing personality style. The way they see it, their needs can wait until others' are well-served. Knowing that they have given of themselves, they feel comfortable and at peace, secure with their place in the scheme of things. At its best and most noble, this is the selfless, magnanimous personality style of which saints and good citizens are made.
Generosity. Individuals with the Self-Sacrificing personality style will give you the shirts off their backs if you need them. They do not wait to be asked.
Service. Their "prime directive" is to be helpful to others. Out of deference to others, they are noncompetitive and unambitious, comfortable coming second, even last.
Consideration. Self-Sacrificing people are always considerate in their dealings with others. They are ethical, honest, and trustworthy.
Acceptance. They are nonjudgmental, tolerant of others' foibles, and never harshly reproving. They'll stick with you through thick and thin.
Humility. They are neither boastful nor proud, and they're uncomfortable being fussed over. Self-Sacrificing men and women do not like being the center of attention; they are uneasy in the limelight.
Endurance. They are long-suffering. They prefer to shoulder their own burdens in life. They have much patience and a high tolerance for discomfort.
Artlessness. Self-Sacrificing individuals are rather naive and innocent. They are unaware of the often deep impact they make on other people's lives, and they tend never to suspect deviousness or underhanded motives in the people to whom they give so much of themselves.
Mercurial
Code: MER
Disorder: Borderline
Enneagram: 4w3, 7w6
Variant: Sexual
Myers-Briggs: ESFP, ENFP
Function: Extraverted Feeling
Description: Life is a roller coaster for those with the Mercurial personality style -- and they'll insist you come along for the ride. From the peaks to the valleys, intensity imbues their every breath. Mercurial women and men yearn for experience, and they jump into a new love or a new lifestyle with both feet, without even a glance backward. No other style, the Dramatic included, is so ardent in its desire to connect with life and with other people. And no other style is quite so capable of enduring the changes in emotional weather that such a fervidly lived life will bring.
Romantic attachment. Mercurial individuals must always be deeply involved in a romantic relationship with one person.
Intensity. They experience a passionate, focused attachment in all their relationships. Nothing that goes on between them and other people is trivial, nothing taken lightly.
Heart. They show what they feel. They are emotionally active and reactive. Mercurial types put their hearts into everything.
Unconstraint. They are uninhibited, spontaneous, fun-loving, and undaunted by risk.
Activity. Energy marks the Mercurial style. These individuals are lively, creative busy, and engaging. They show initiative and can stir others to activity.
Open mind. They are imaginative and curious, willing to experience and experiment with other cultures, roles, and value systems and to follow new paths.
Alternate states. People with Mercurial style are skilled at distancing or distracting themselves from reality when it is painful or harsh.
Devoted
Code: DEV
Disorder: Dependent
Enneagram: 9
Variant: Sexual
Myers-Briggs: ISFJ, ESFJ
Function: Extraverted Feeling
Description: Devoted types care, and that's what makes their lives worth living. You won't find anyone more loving, more solicitous of you, more concerned for your needs and feelings or for those of a group as a whole. At their best, individuals with this style are loyal, considerate, ever-so-helpful players on the team -- whether it is a couple, the family, the assembly line, the department, the religious or charitable organization, or the military unit. Their needs are those of the group or of its leader, and their happiness comes from the fulfillment of others' directives and goals. Devoted people are the ones who tell you, "I'm happy if you're happy" -- and mean it. The Devoted style is common in our society, and it occurs among both men and women. Traditionally this helping and giving personality style has been particularily encouraged and approved among women. The customary view of the good wife has been that of a tender-hearted Devoted woman who lives through her husband and relies on him to make the worldly decisions for her, while she dedicates herself to providing a fulfilling home life for the family. As views of women's roles change in this society, some women with this personality style may have mixed feelings about expressing it. Because of today's cultural pressures on women to step out of the shadows of other people, both in and out of the home, they may feel that wanting to make someone else happy is something to be ashamed of. While these women struggle to come to terms with all sides of their personality patterns, more men are feeling freer to enjoy their own domestic, nurturing Devoted tendencies. In any case, as we will see throughout this chapter, the Devoted personality plays itself out in many ways in the personality profiles of males as well as females, traditional and otherwise.
Commitment. Individuals with the Devoted personality style are thoroughly dedicated to the relationships in their lives. They place the highest value on sustained relationships, they respect the institution of marriage as well as unofficial avowals of commitment, and they work hard to keep their relationships together.
Togetherness. They prefer the company of one or more people to being alone.
Teamwork. People with this personality style would rather follow than lead. They are cooperative and respectful of authority and institutions. They easily rely on others and take direction well.
Deference. When making decisions, they are happy to seek out others' opinions and to follow their advice.
Harmony. Devoted individuals are careful to promote good feelings between themselves and the important people in their lives. To promote harmony, they tend to be polite, agreeable, and tactful.
Consideration. They are thoughtful of others and good at pleasing them. Devoted people will endure personal discomfort to do a good turn for the key people in their lives.
Attachment. Relationships provide life's meaning for this personality style. Even after a painful loss of someone around whom their life was centered, they are able to form new meaningful bonds.