Older woman/younger man . . . | INFJ Forum

Older woman/younger man . . .

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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I was reading, I think, a blog where someone was stating that although there hasn't been a conclusive study on it she would assume that age difference with sex is not more traumatizing for either sex, that, from a societal view, you would imagine that a female would be more likely to be emotionally disturbed by having sex with someone significantly older than her but that scientific evidence would likely conclude that there is little to no difference between the two pairings.

I found that interesting, and it's semi-relevant.
 
Or perhaps because they love eachother.

Oh, me and my wild theories.
 
*Let's see . . . to put this plainly*

The fact that you're hot and sexy and i may love you now or even for the next few years, doesn't mean i'll feel the same when you are 65 and i'm 40? Dig?

:m155:

So you're asking why that old and young people can be attracted to eachother?
What's the difference..?
 
Didn't say they can't. But for many couples, it becomes an issue later on in the relationship, although they never thought about in the beginning. (Edited the wording in my previous post)

You mean thought about the age difference because it becomes more obvious when they grow older?

Well, here's my opinion: I'm attracted to girls my age.
It's probably easier, since you've reached the same maturity level.
 
*Let's see . . . to put this plainly*

The fact that "you're hot and sexy" and "i may love you now or even for the next few years", doesn't mean you'll feel the same when i'm are 65 and you're 40? Dig?

:m155:


Sure. But if you avoid entering a relationship because there will propably be challenges within the next 20 years, is there any reason to ever be with anyone? I mean, I've never been in a relationship that lasted over 5 years anyways (I'm quite young though). What's the chanse I will be with my current girlfriend forever, though as of now I love her? Quite slim, I would guess. Is that reason enough for me to leave her now?
 
My great grandmother married a man who was 20 years younger than her and he loved taking care of her and was very sad when she died at 83, him being in his 60's.

Sometimes younger/older pairings are good.


She had to use a wheelchair and such and helped her out, he was very good to her and they were were much dedicated to each other, even when they had met when she was like...what, 50,60?
 
Being a 'younger man' myself, I could go up in a relationship a handful of years or so, but I couldn't ever see a 15 let alone 20 year age difference. I wouldn't have much in common with them generation wise, and personally dating someone who could be my mother would be kinda weird to me.

What ever works for other people though. I don't think a lot of people could make it work long-term, but what ever floats your boat.
 
and I also saw a guy who did the mail order bride thing and she was like in her 20's and he was in his 50's and it seemed to be working out fine.
 
I don't doubt that two people can't love each other in spite of age, but my original question was, how to make it work over the long term considering the difficulties which may arise later on?

Surely that's something, that only a couple who have experienced it, can answer? How is anyone else supposed to know that?
 
theorizing about topics which have no answer is for the intj forums.
 
There's something called theorizing and imagination, and forethought/foresight, other people's experiences, and reason, and potential, and possibility, and Ni. ; )

Okay, no need to be patronising. Just the way you worded it seemed as if you wanted a straight answer rather then theorizing the possibilities.
 
I personally doubt I would ever date a man younger than myself but I won't entirely discount the possibility. Thus far, I've been exclusively attracted to men my age or slightly older.

Anyway, to answer the OP...

In order to succeed, I think an older woman/younger man relationship would need what all other healthy relationships need: openness of communication, mutual respect, realistic expectations, and a few common goals and interests.
 
There's something called theorizing and imagination, and forethought/foresight, other people's experiences, and reason, and potential, and possibility, and Ni. ; )

Theory is based on data and knowledge.
This is just wild guessing.
 
Lionesses, cougars and milfs. Oh my!

*Loads hunting rifle*
 
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Theory is based on data and knowledge.
This is just wild guessing.

Er? And what about this is "wild" guessing?

If you're posting a question for discussion on a public forum, you're in essence, asking others to bring in their experiences, knowledge and data to either supplement your own knowledge or help you form a clearer picture.

Forgive me, I don't see what it is that Restraint said in this thread that points to guessing. I think she's been rather respectful in her discussions thus far.
 
Er? And what about this is "wild" guessing?

If you're posting a question for discussion on a public forum, you're in essence, asking others to bring in their experiences, knowledge and data to either supplement your own knowledge or help you form a clearer picture.

Forgive me, I don't see what it is that Restraint said in this thread that points to guessing. I think she's been rather respectful in her discussions thus far.

I didn't say that wild guessing couldn't be respectful.
I just that that theory is based on data and the knowledge gained from that data.

And she was (sorry that I'm using your word here Yield) patronising.
 
I didn't say that wild guessing couldn't be respectful.

I know you didn't; but I'm still wondering how any of this is "wild guessing" if she's asking for input that is relevant to the context?