It probably could become a problem, since I over think, scrutinize and idealize. I've never had an eating disorder, but I do tend to over think things, and be very wary of what's "wrong" when I'm under stress. I could probably get into patterns of being overly controlled and then binging if I wasn't careful.
NFJs prone to eating disorders?
- Thread starter Silently Honest
- Start date
I know of one INFJ adolescent who is very self-conscious and self-deprecating about her looks, starved herself for weeks until she passed out and went through a phase where she would compulsively research eating disorders. She had really warped thinking, "if you're not pretty, you're fucked," probably due to internalising social pressures of going to a predominantly all-girls school which introduced a minority of guys, feeling inadequate and limerent while comparing herself to other girls. I'm not sure if she qualifies for a disorder since I've only communicated with her periodically online.
My ENFJ best friend is also currently taking part in a weight loss program and although she's fighting her insecurities, she's intent on more of a lifestyle change than an eating disorder. I've personally never had any major issues with my appearance, not because I'm stunning, but because I project more of my intellectual/personality notions of substance onto others' criterion and obsess over that compared to possibly underestimating the extent to which physical attraction matters when choosing a mate.
My ENFJ best friend is also currently taking part in a weight loss program and although she's fighting her insecurities, she's intent on more of a lifestyle change than an eating disorder. I've personally never had any major issues with my appearance, not because I'm stunning, but because I project more of my intellectual/personality notions of substance onto others' criterion and obsess over that compared to possibly underestimating the extent to which physical attraction matters when choosing a mate.
Anica, you raised an extremely valid point. First off, I'm so sorry about your situation with your mother - that had to have been horrifying and so painful to see your mother's deteriorating mental state like that. It broke my heart hearing it.
But what is really a valid eating disorder? I think you can safely say that if anything - eating, drinking, sleeping, interacting - becomes a mental obsession (when it becomes uppermost in your mind, your god, your main focus, your "cannot-live-without"), it's in danger of becoming a disorder.
Granted, there are different degrees of disorder as well, but I tend to think "disorder" means a mind issue, not just a health issue. We can have bad thoughts about ourselves from time to time and not eat/overeat from time to time. But when our thoughts are preventing us from overcoming those feelings, or if we cannot see reality because reality is saying one thing and our minds have convinced us of another thing, then we're in trouble. And to be honest, when it gets that far, we are no longer able to make the conscious decision to change on our own...we need people who can help us fight, because if we try it by ourselves we won't - can't - make it. Like the alcoholic or the drug addict who wants to quit but can't, because it's not that simple anymore.
As for me, yes - I'm fighting a mind issue, and I might have to see a therapist if I want to overcome the issues. It's not just changing a pattern in my life. It will have to be re-routing my mental programming. Which...is difficult. I don't know though, it's kind of a grey area. I haven't wanted to explore it enough to see if it warrants therapy, and perhaps I should.
As for my parents, my father had a delusional ideal of what the perfect body looks like (if your thighs touched you were overweight, regardless of body type), and my mother is a little like yours, Anica, but in the health food sense. She needs to go to the doctor because I *think* she has a growth...but she has chosen to use laxatives and to eat very little to try and starve the growth away. She'll usually eat normally when she's with me, but at home she doesn't eat a lot. It's usually one meal a day, and something soup or stew related. And a lot of laxatives. To "push it out of her system."
I worry about her, too. Sometimes she looks like a malnourished child in a third world nation: Skinny, skinny arms and legs and a bulging midsection.
But what is really a valid eating disorder? I think you can safely say that if anything - eating, drinking, sleeping, interacting - becomes a mental obsession (when it becomes uppermost in your mind, your god, your main focus, your "cannot-live-without"), it's in danger of becoming a disorder.
Granted, there are different degrees of disorder as well, but I tend to think "disorder" means a mind issue, not just a health issue. We can have bad thoughts about ourselves from time to time and not eat/overeat from time to time. But when our thoughts are preventing us from overcoming those feelings, or if we cannot see reality because reality is saying one thing and our minds have convinced us of another thing, then we're in trouble. And to be honest, when it gets that far, we are no longer able to make the conscious decision to change on our own...we need people who can help us fight, because if we try it by ourselves we won't - can't - make it. Like the alcoholic or the drug addict who wants to quit but can't, because it's not that simple anymore.
As for me, yes - I'm fighting a mind issue, and I might have to see a therapist if I want to overcome the issues. It's not just changing a pattern in my life. It will have to be re-routing my mental programming. Which...is difficult. I don't know though, it's kind of a grey area. I haven't wanted to explore it enough to see if it warrants therapy, and perhaps I should.
As for my parents, my father had a delusional ideal of what the perfect body looks like (if your thighs touched you were overweight, regardless of body type), and my mother is a little like yours, Anica, but in the health food sense. She needs to go to the doctor because I *think* she has a growth...but she has chosen to use laxatives and to eat very little to try and starve the growth away. She'll usually eat normally when she's with me, but at home she doesn't eat a lot. It's usually one meal a day, and something soup or stew related. And a lot of laxatives. To "push it out of her system."
I worry about her, too. Sometimes she looks like a malnourished child in a third world nation: Skinny, skinny arms and legs and a bulging midsection.
