My way or the highway (no compromise) personalities

Gaze

Gaze

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INFPishy
So, are you a my way or the highway personality or do you have personal experience living with someone like this? How do you handle it? Learned anything to help you manage your interaction with them? How do you manage to get what you want despite living with someone who is rigid?
 
No, I generally adopt a "I take care of my stuff, you take care of yours". I don't really look to command other people, and I also dislike it when others try to make choices for me. I do know a few people who are very rigid and insist on doing things their way. When it does happen I generally ignore them and just do what comes naturally. If it comes to confrontation, then I try to be assertive without getting angry. Though that's not always easy.
 
No, I’m not that way, not at all, but I have experience with it.

There’s no handling it. The very idea is laughable.

What I learned was to submit, to obey, to be compliant.

As far as managing to get what I wanted, I didn’t. Instead, I managed to forget who I was to the degree my wants went away.


Cheers,
Ian
 
I've dealt with a few managers at work over the years who were like this. They were usually clueless. I don't waste my time or energy on anyone who behaves that way. Walk away and leave them ordering the fresh air around is how I approach them. Once they realize that tin pot dictator act won't wash they generally find a way to compromise.

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I find that the compromise personalities are usually those who are born into my way or the highway environments. That's definitely true for me and for many people I know.

If you're a compromise personality, however, you can use your flexibility to your advantage. Often, the rigid thinkers and the opposition defiant are the easiest to manipulate precisely because they don't change their tactics or their motivations. Be the water that flows around the rock for your own sanity, and amuse yourself by making a game of it.
 
aeon said:
No, I’m not that way, not at all, but I have experience with it.

There’s no handling it. The very idea is laughable.

What I learned was to submit, to obey, to be compliant.

As far as managing to get what I wanted, I didn’t. Instead, I managed to forget who I was to the degree my wants went away.


Cheers,
Ian
Click to expand...

When I was younger, I felt the same way, did the same thing: submit, put what I wanted aside.

I grew up the youngest of four. "My way or the highway" for Dad's basic edict, and my sisters adopted the same paradigm, and in time, I did for awhile. In the family, I was definitely the submissive one, and had been for too long. I invested emotionally and got betrayal in return. But I blame myself for ignoring the signs because I lacked the courage to confront them.

Eventually, I put a stop to Dad's attitude by simply standing up to him and being consistent with it (because he tried me many a time). Regarding two of my sisters who still have that attitude, I have little to do with for that and additional reasons.

I didn't get what I wanted, and while I may have set aside what I wanted, I continued to delve into who I was/am, and, decades later, am going after what I still want.
 
I'm in survival mode, there's no other way to deal with this type of personality who never gives up and just twists and twists the situation until they get their own way. I'm just quietly working towards my escape.
 
The tough part about this type of personality which especially if it's family member, friend, or loved one is that you spend so much of your time suppressing your own wants or feelings, eventually almost always giving in because they can't see any other way but theirs. You learn to not have much of an opinion, fewer choices, and a sense that your views are never as valid or important as theirs. You learn that the only acceptable response is silence or submission.

Reminds me of the Borg motto. Resistance is futile.
 
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I've been like this under certain circumstances where I know I'm right, and there is a means to an end, particularly for the better of a situation involving other people's welfare, but not limited to.

Generally, I don't take well to this attitude on the receiving end if the other person is obstinate beyond all reason.
 
Gist said:
So, are you a my way or the highway personality or do you have personal experience living with someone like this? How do you handle it? Learned anything to help you manage your interaction with them? How do you manage to get what you want despite living with someone who is rigid?
Click to expand...

So, are you a my way or the highway personality No, I believe I compromise on many topics. Some I have learned not to compromise on.
or do you have personal experience living with someone like this? Yes. I have a sister that believes God lights the Sun each day just bc she exists. Very closed minded, vindictive and narcissistic
How do you handle it? No contact unless it is a family emergency.
Learned anything to help you manage your interaction with them?
Yes. Tried to explain what I would like to see our relationship grow into. Realized she has her mind & heart set where it is. I wished her well and only make contact in family emergencies to which her reply is a consistent 'wth do I care".
How do you manage to get what you want despite living with someone who is rigid?I don't. I don't ask nor expect from others unless I can not handle the situation alone...some times two hands are not enough to carry the weight ;-)
 
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