Let me paint a picture for you. I'm quite ENTP, and most everything that comes with that. I'm intellectual, inventive, playful, and relatively complex and enigmatic (even to myself.) I understand myself well, with a few exceptions.
The one area that still eludes me, is when it comes to... relationships. I don't lack for confidence; or more accurately, there is almost nothing that intimidates me. It isn't this brave thing either; I'm really just not intimidated.
But to take this a step further, While I often seem aloof, I'm anything but. I look at everyone around me, and analyze things, and I do quantify everything I see (to the best of my ability), but it doesn't negate my normal human desire for connection.
However, while I used to date a lot, I'm largely bored with the entire thing. It usually ends the same. I go out with a girl, she seemed funny, witty, insightful, or something like that at first (else, why ask her out?), but it doesn't pan out. Sometimes, within a few minutes of the date, she seems so... dull. It isn't that she is a good person, just... uhhh... not for me.
When I look at my history, I see that it was the INFx's that I always did well with (damn you for being right MBTI!) But things brings up a problem. I'm extroverted, even very extroverted. It is fun for me to walk into a room full of strangers, take control of a conversation, lead it on a random tangent, and then drop it. And watch as people stumble around trying to pick up the pieces. Hilarious. That is just an example. But, like that... most of my interactions are quite bombastic. I show up with a bang, pull some stunt, and then laugh as people try to make sense of what just happened.
But this is a big problem; because that is just one aspect of my personality. My strong Ne is complimented by an equally strong Ti. And I yearn for deeper connection with people, but don't quite know how to do it.
This leads me to my hypothesis. (Yes, I am using scientific terms in connection with relationships, love, feelings, etc.) I think that my... outward demeanor can be intimidating/scaring/unappealing to I's? Or, possibly connected to that, I have trouble seeing the deeper introverts around me. So, I end up with this constant stream of girls that are brave (or stupid) enough to ignore my outward demeanor, and think that my personality is equivalent to 'light-hearted-fun.' And sometimes it is, but that is merely a small portion of 'me.' How do I find these people I'm overlooking? Because I refuse to believe that the entire world is as superficial and dense as the balance of the women I've been dating recently.
So, drawing upon your wonderful Fe, how the heck does someone like me find and make connections with deeper types? Those who are as intuitive as myself, but probably far better at emotional connection/matters than I am? Because I'm largely stumped.
Come on! Fix me!
The one area that still eludes me, is when it comes to... relationships. I don't lack for confidence; or more accurately, there is almost nothing that intimidates me. It isn't this brave thing either; I'm really just not intimidated.
But to take this a step further, While I often seem aloof, I'm anything but. I look at everyone around me, and analyze things, and I do quantify everything I see (to the best of my ability), but it doesn't negate my normal human desire for connection.
However, while I used to date a lot, I'm largely bored with the entire thing. It usually ends the same. I go out with a girl, she seemed funny, witty, insightful, or something like that at first (else, why ask her out?), but it doesn't pan out. Sometimes, within a few minutes of the date, she seems so... dull. It isn't that she is a good person, just... uhhh... not for me.
When I look at my history, I see that it was the INFx's that I always did well with (damn you for being right MBTI!) But things brings up a problem. I'm extroverted, even very extroverted. It is fun for me to walk into a room full of strangers, take control of a conversation, lead it on a random tangent, and then drop it. And watch as people stumble around trying to pick up the pieces. Hilarious. That is just an example. But, like that... most of my interactions are quite bombastic. I show up with a bang, pull some stunt, and then laugh as people try to make sense of what just happened.
But this is a big problem; because that is just one aspect of my personality. My strong Ne is complimented by an equally strong Ti. And I yearn for deeper connection with people, but don't quite know how to do it.
This leads me to my hypothesis. (Yes, I am using scientific terms in connection with relationships, love, feelings, etc.) I think that my... outward demeanor can be intimidating/scaring/unappealing to I's? Or, possibly connected to that, I have trouble seeing the deeper introverts around me. So, I end up with this constant stream of girls that are brave (or stupid) enough to ignore my outward demeanor, and think that my personality is equivalent to 'light-hearted-fun.' And sometimes it is, but that is merely a small portion of 'me.' How do I find these people I'm overlooking? Because I refuse to believe that the entire world is as superficial and dense as the balance of the women I've been dating recently.
So, drawing upon your wonderful Fe, how the heck does someone like me find and make connections with deeper types? Those who are as intuitive as myself, but probably far better at emotional connection/matters than I am? Because I'm largely stumped.
Come on! Fix me!
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