My INFJ friends, counsel me.

There is no fix for this. Chances are you're attracting the F's like flies to honey. But you aren't picking up on their subtle cues that they are digging you.

Where as the 'brave' ones are more obvious in their approach. Do you play poker?

If so then good. You have a leg up. You must start learning the INFX 'tells'.

 

I would think that being an ENTP you are quite capable of putting yourself in a Observer position. I think you may be a bit insecure when trying to apply what you are observing in relation to yourself however. Maybe a bit of fear there no?

Anyhow....I can only speak for myself. But those I was romantically interested...I would seek oppurtunities to spend time with the person. Make asual contact. Racy jokes and suggestive comments that were only partially playful...and partly serious. Me thinks of a time when an interest of mine made a comment about where to find a couch following a double entendre exchange....and I told him 'Let's go'...he grabbed my hand and started walking.... If he had actually followed through and we had ended up at the couch I was perfectly prepared to walk the walk as it were *chuckles at fond memories*

Anyhow. Look for eye contact...casual touches. If someone makes something for you....like banana bread or muffins....or remembers whats important to you.... i.e you had an interview or meeting or such and such and they ask you about what happened. It means they are paying attention to you. If they offer to help!

There is another couple threads around here with more stuff....you may want to hunt through those for more.

 

It sounds like you have trouble dissociating yourself from the analysis. Have you tried viewing the situation between you and someone else as objectively as possible, treating yourself like a third person?

Regarding trying to attract INFXs, go for the mouse in the corner and start up a one-on-one conversation.
By the way, I'm solely basing that off Jondalar from Jean Auel's Earth's Children series, who the author said was an ENTP and who had similar reasons for being so logical (reasons I got from the other thread you commented on).

...or you could always volunteer for the local suicide hotline. There's bound to be some there, right? freaking psych majors...

 

OOOH, Relationships, My favorite subject.

First off, your pic is totally throwing me off.. WAHHH

So, you desire a deeper connection with people, but don't know how.

The way I build deeper connections isn't so much "Hanging out" a lot, but talking a lot.

What you might try is using the parties to get the "extrovert" out of your system and look elsewhere for the INFXs.

The best way to bring an INFX out of their shell is to get them to talk about the deeper mysteries inside their mind. Some INFX's don't talk about those things to a lot of people because they either don't understand or don't care.

Also, any INFX should theoretically like one on one time.

The signals posted by alcyone are dead on for INFX's (though they never seem to work the other way round, i.e. I'm the INFJ guy seeking ENXX girl)

Also, check out my topic on love-shyness, a lot of it has little to do with fear and a lot to do with clueless about picking up signals. I'm the same way, anyone else, and I can read signals perfectly. When directed towards me however, and I'm clueless.

off topic reflection (maybe that's why I like 3rd person games more than first person ones... HM.)

 

To make it easier on you "mice", don't put them on the spot. Be casual and, understanding, for lack of a better word. Try to imagine how they would feel and what response would work (easier said than done)

One thing I have noticed with myself, when it comes to reading signals, they have to be VERY exact. Any ambiguity and I tend to brush them off as social nuances. Witty doesn't work nearly as well as sincerity with us (at least in my experience).

To show her that she is standing out to you, you have to physically remove her from other people. In my experience it is even harder to read signals when there is more social stimuli. It will be hard to send and receive the right signals in the midst of people.

 

I guess the issue is how to show the INFx person you are interested without scaring them away?

I have a hard time identifying ENTx. I can only speculate, drawing from my own understanding, that INFJs do not usually open themselves up to others freely unless the other person does too. I am curious, what is it about INFx people that ENTx people find attractive???? I don't really understand all the types myself and I may be over-generalizing here but I sometimes get the feeling that extroverts will eventually find the introverts too boring, too uptight, too deep for them and end up preferring similar extroverts....

 

I've never had someone make me banana bread or muffins as a come on. If they did, I think I would be so perplexed I'd have to ask them to marry me.

 

That's really interesting, Hugh. Thanks for letting me in on the world of ENTPs. I did not quite understand before so I really appreciate your sharing and your honesty. I am beginning to understand a bit more now. It's intriguing how you find the introverted intuition and extroverted feeling desirable when I find my extroverted feeling sometimes a liability... it gets me into trouble a lot.. I often wish I can be more of a P instead of J, a little less F and more T, more easy-going, more quick-witted, etc.

 

That was always my favorite way of showing interest.

 

I love me some ENTP nonsense. They make me laugh like no one else. If you can slay her with humor, you have her - seriously!

 

I'm guilty of baking/cooking to show my interest. It didn't get me anywhere. *laughs*

I agree with the 'tells' that were listed before. You may not have to look for a 'mouse' though.... I'm an intensely confident female and have no problem telling the world that if they challenge me to do so... But the challenge must be there.
I show interest with eye contact, remembering some ridiculous detail, brushing up against that person or finding a reason to touch them briefly. I'm not outwardly direct about it usually but if a girl is watching you - pay attention. And not the Bambi-eyed "Ohhhhhhhh" watching but the slightly amused, knowing, almost looking at you like you're crazy look.
My boyfriend is a very strong Extrovert. Your description of you reminds me of him a bit.

 

hello i'm new to this so not really sure if i'm doing it right but sure i'll give it a go anyway!
I have to say i agree totally with the above post..... find the girl that's looking at you and analysing you. I am not a mouse in the corner at parties either but it does take alot to attract my interest in a guy and the best way to do it is by way of intrigue.
I think the best thing you can do is just be honest, genuine and open with someone that you are interested and if they are INFJ they should be able to see that you are genuine. If someone was acting outlandishly like you described earlier I would probably suspect a false bravado first and foremost, which if then combined with true, honest communication would certainly have me wondering....