Mormons. | INFJ Forum

Mormons.

isabellajay

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May 3, 2013
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Why do people hate Mormons so much?
I am Mormon and I promise I'm completely normal.
I can understand not liking it because of what you've heard, what you've read,
but I know I'm not a crazy person, or a cultist, or a freak show.
It's hurtful that people make such judgements of me.
And know that many Mormons are super conflicted on certain topics - namely gay marriage.
I am for gay marriage. But people just assume because I'm Mormon
that I'm some hatey, shallow criminal.
I'd like to hear your opinions without being attacked.
Trust me, I get a lot of that.
I am starting to feel safe on this forum and I would be very
disappointed if people stopped speaking to me or starting hating me
just because of my religious beliefs.

And JUST as a side note, I am on here to make friends and learn, NOT to convert people.
 
I have a gay Mormon friend and he's one of those people that I will remember for the rest of my life. Wonderful human being.
 
Why do people hate Mormons so much?
I am Mormon and I promise I'm completely normal.
I can understand not liking it because of what you've heard, what you've read,
but I know I'm not a crazy person, or a cultist, or a freak show.
It's hurtful that people make such judgements of me.
And know that many Mormons are super conflicted on certain topics - namely gay marriage.
I am for gay marriage. But people just assume because I'm Mormon
that I'm some hatey, shallow criminal.
I'd like to hear your opinions without being attacked.
Trust me, I get a lot of that.
I am starting to feel safe on this forum and I would be very
disappointed if people stopped speaking to me or starting hating me
just because of my religious beliefs.

And JUST as a side note, I am on here to make friends and learn, NOT to convert people.

Perfect! A chance to utilize the knowledge I've acquired in the last few months, spending time with Mormons!

Why do many people hate Mormons?

Many Christians "hate" you (they're not supposed to) because, in their view, you have distorted the Word of God. They believe Joseph Smith to be a liar, thus in the highest order of blasphemers, and perhaps with good reason, because LDS doctrine sometimes seems to conflict with some of what Jesus himself taught. I'd like to add, however, that many non-Mormon Christian churches are scarcely aligned with what Jesus taught, so that nugget of criticism works both ways.

Many secularists dislike Mormons because of their shady past. When the church was first starting out, -- and this is indisputable historic fact that even the LDS will admit to -- many members were practicing polygyny supposedly mandated by God via the prophet Jospeh Smith, and later, Brigham Young.

Other secularists dislike Mormons because they perceive their proselytizing to be overly aggressive, or "businessman-like." Mormons send out more missionaries than any other church I know of. I've sat in on training sessions for their missionaries, and to be honest, the approach they're teaching the young missionaries-to-be did upset me a bit. I don't think people should be pressured into joining the church the way they often are by the missionaries.

I know the LDS abolished it a long time ago, but certain offshoots of it, -- these are the actual Mormon cults -- like the Church of Christ, still practice polygyny. This is namely in Utah, as I understand it. Many people, even Christians, still carelessly lump together the fundamentalist Mormons (the polygamous cults) with the other, more progressive, churches, like the LDS.

That said, I don't look at you any differently now I know you're Mormon. I think as long as you respect other people, and don't try push your beliefs on anyone, you'll be fine here. Although, if you cling to tendency to be offended, you'll find cause to be offended, since there are many atheists and agnostics here who post their ideas on God and religions, et al., quite freely.

Welcome. :D
 
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Other secularists dislike Mormons because they perceive their proselytizing to be overly aggressive, or "businessman-like." Mormons send out more missionaries than any other church I know of. I've sat in on training sessions for their missionaries, and to be honest, the approach they're teaching the young missionaries-to-be did upset me a bit. I don't think people should be pressured into joining the church the way they often are by the LDS.

I know the LDS abolished it a long time ago, but certain offshoots of it, -- these are the actual Mormon cults -- like the Church of Christ, still practice polygyny. This is namely in Utah, as I understand it. Many people, even Christians, still carelessly lump together the fundamentalist Mormons (the polygamous cults) with the other, more progressive, churches, like the LDS.

That said, I don't look at you any differently now I know you're Mormon. I think as long as you respect other people, and don't try push your beliefs on anyone, you'll be fine here. Welcome. :D

Thank you for the mature response (hugs). Believe me, I greatly respect your opinion. On the missionary thing, I think that there are a lot of missionaries out there who have lost the idea of why they do what they do, and those are probably some of the jerks you've encountered. And the people who have created cults are no longer acting as LDS, and therefore, they aren't really associated with the church except to say that they are. THEY AREN'T. Thank you for treating me like a human being and thank you for the welcome. <3
[MENTION=9644]Awesome[/MENTION], you're lucky to have met a gay Mormon. They are seriously the coolest people ever.
 
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The Mormon church has a history of racism, sexism, and homophobia. The latter two are reflected in current policy including their involvement in the media. This is a stark contrast to how they present on a personal basis, being open and friendly to other people of all kinds. I have wondered whether this friendliness is the result of being an underdog. Would they retain this if they were no longer themselves minorities? I would argue that this is the public perception. People don't hate Mormons. Most people think Mormons are really nice people no matter what they believe. The average person has a negative view of door-to-door solicitation but when the topic comes up, the perception of Jehova Witnesses is far worse. This is because they are not perceived to be as open and friendly.

People question and poke fun at the doctrine and beliefs but I've always thought this was hypocritical. They provide no more evidence for their claims than Mormons do of theirs. It may seem far fetched from an outside perspective but does not all of Christianity also seem so? Subdivision has been is a longstanding part of religious tradition, though. Whatever it is that makes one sect distinct from another will always be target for ridicule. Are you offended by this? Does it bother you when shows like South Park poke fun of your beliefs?

I recently saw some interesting statistics. I saw that Utah had the highest number of gay adoptions of any state. This may be because gay kids get kicked out of their Mormon households when they come out. But even if non-Mormons contributed to a large number of the adoptions, it would be impossible to ignore the number of Mormon families that have taken in gay kids. I've wondered how this works, whether it is reconciled or overlooked, and whether these families have a fear of either religious or social repercussions. I think the trend is positive regardless. However much negative PR there was in the debate, I also see the changes in the Boy Scouts as a positive sign of social progress.
 
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The Mormon church has a history of racism, sexism, and homophobia.
I totally feel you, sista. But can I emphasize just one word in there? History. We’re a new religion and we’re still learning and growing and trying to be better. The LDS church has an undoubtedly odd history, but I think what matters is that we’re trying to move forward and be better. Some of the fathers of our nation had slaves, but they still did great things and were good people, I think. There is bad and there is good, but I believe we’re doing more to be good.

Whatever it is that makes one sect distinct from another will always be target for ridicule. Are you offended by this? Does it bother you when shows like South Park poke fun of your beliefs?
I can tolerate it when people tease about how many other wives my dad has, or when people call garments “magic underwear”. I can get offended though. South Park has a tendency to be really mean spirited, which I’m not a fan of. But come on, the LDS church has adds in the “Book of Mormon” musical playbill. Sometimes it confuses me that people can be SO sacrilegious about the Mormon faith, but you better not EVER offend the Muslims. I hate that double standard. Why don’t we all just cut it out be nice to each other? We’re different but we’re all still humans.

I recently saw some interesting statistics. I saw that Utah had the highest number of gay adoptions of any state. This may be because gay kids get kicked out of their Mormon households when they come out. But even if non-Mormons contributed to a large number of the adoptions, it would be impossible to ignore the number of Mormon families that have taken in gay kids. I've wondered how this works, whether it is reconciled or overlooked, and whether these families have a fear of either religious or social repercussions. I think the trend is positive regardless. However much negative PR there was in the debate, I also see the changes in the Boy Scouts as a positive sign of social progress.
It’s sad when this happens, but there are actually more Mormon parents who are striving to understand and love their child than those who ostracize them. We definitely have a lot of progression to go though. Thank you for responding to the thread, sharing your opinion, and not being afraid of me…hahah. :)
 
I dunno. I don't hate Mormons. We have elders over for dinner. With their white shirts and name tags and all. I think they are cool people.

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And as for history, everybody has one.
 
No problems here.

A large Mormon Church is a customer of mine at the print shop I work for.
I have worked with many members over the years. They have been some of the kindest, most generous people I have met. Never once has any of them pushed Mormon beliefs on me.
Over the years I have had the young guys who are on mission approach me at home. I see no need to be rude to them.
On only a few occasions have they been pushy or stubborn to move on after I kindly tell them I am not interested, I am good with God, and would prefer they not stop back again.

I think there are a lot of rumors and outdated notions regarding the Mormon church that plague them today.
 
The reason is that people can't wrap their heads around multiple wives. Plus they are pretty recent and have changed their doctrines too often, also they are like the Utah mafia.

There's a lot of reasons actually, all stemming from the haters perspective/perception and I don't feel like typing the laundry list of items out.

Personally I don't have anything against them. I used to (just their philosophy mostly), but my perspective changed due to non-Mormon related reasons.
 
[MENTION=6917]sprinkles[/MENTION] [MENTION=1355]MindYourHead[/MENTION] [MENTION=731]the[/MENTION] thanks for the insights and opinions. Seriously. :grouphug: I've never had this question answered so respectfully. INFJ lovin'.
 
sentientsixpence said:
The Mormon church has a history of racism, sexism, and homophobia. The latter two are reflected in current policy including their involvement in the media.

I totally feel you, sista. But can I emphasize just one word in there? History. We’re a new religion and we’re still learning and growing and trying to be better. There is bad and there is good, but I believe we’re doing more to be good.

I'm not as bothered by their history as I am by their current policies. If they really wanted to get ahead of this thing, they would be proactive. Being intolerant doesn't make gay people straight and the church isn't going to crumble if they give women equality.

My position is that I cannot personally knowingly condone, endorse, or fund an organization that still has blatant discrimination. (For example, I can buy Girl Scout cookies but cannot contribute to Boy Scouts in any way until they remove all discrimination against LGBT including leadership positions.)

However, I cannot hold you personally responsible for the decisions the organization has made as a body nor can I demand that you share my position. Being rude or inconsiderate to you in any way would not endear you to that cause. You have many reasons to stay in the Mormon church that I have never had. You have a family, you have tradition, and you are a member of that community. I cannot say "be like me" when my situation is nothing like yours.

Change can come from within so when I can make a positive connection I feel like I can promote progress in this way. So when I have been invited to comment openly I have to take the opportunity.

Sometimes it confuses me that people can be SO sacrilegious about the Mormon faith, but you better not EVER offend the Muslims. I hate that double standard. Why don’t we all just cut it out be nice to each other? We’re different but we’re all still humans.

To me, it speaks well of your fellow Mormons they can be freely criticized and parodied without repercussion. In this way it is the Muslims who are made to look bad for their extremists.

re: LGBT kids
there are actually more Mormon parents who are striving to understand and love their child than those who ostracize them. We definitely have a lot of progression to go though.

I hope this is true. What is the church's official position on it now? If the church finds out that your child is openly gay, is the family encouraged to continue to support them in other ways or to cut ties?

Thank you for responding to the thread, sharing your opinion, and not being afraid of me…hahah.

You have been more brave than I in this way. Thank you for sharing and being open to discuss.
 
Unfortunately, we are moving at a snail's pace. But slow and steady wins the race? Ha. I hate that that rhymes.
There are a lot of pros and cons for all of the issues mentioned. The feminism thing is difficult for me because
I don't think the church is favoring men, but that is just me. I feel totally in control and in power, but I suppose
I can see why some women feel they carry a lesser role. Again though, I don't see it that way.
Also, I can't speak for all Mormons cause I'm fairly liberal, but I believe the best way to take the ignorant people
who are just speaking to hurt is just by letting it go and being nice. People call me naive sometimes...I've no idea why ;)
And as far as LGBT, again, I can't speak for everyone, but we are a changing world and I definitely
see more open-mindedness and tolerance everyday.
It's been wonderful discussing this with you, [MENTION=9350]sentientsixpence[/MENTION]. :smile:
P.S. As far as extremists go, in any sense, it is an entirely different issue.
 
Why do people hate Mormons so much?
I am Mormon and I promise I'm completely normal.
I can understand not liking it because of what you've heard, what you've read,
but I know I'm not a crazy person, or a cultist, or a freak show.
It's hurtful that people make such judgements of me.
And know that many Mormons are super conflicted on certain topics - namely gay marriage.
I am for gay marriage. But people just assume because I'm Mormon
that I'm some hatey, shallow criminal.
I'd like to hear your opinions without being attacked.
Trust me, I get a lot of that.
I am starting to feel safe on this forum and I would be very
disappointed if people stopped speaking to me or starting hating me
just because of my religious beliefs.

And JUST as a side note, I am on here to make friends and learn, NOT to convert people.

For most people its that Mormons proselytize and go door to door. I'm already distrustful to some degree of any person who claims to be part of mainstream religion for various reasons. But having someone come to your door (keep in mind, just coming by someones home to talk to them about your faith feels invasive) can be really off putting. Even though I've never had a rude or unkind Mormon try to talk to me. It still place me in the position that feels vulnerable and put upon.

And for some their is also a general problem with your branch of Christianity. Or as I said religion in general who may not agree / dislike what your religion supports as a special interest group (for example being anti-gay marriage)... or more personally for me the funding the Boy Scouts of America heavily by the Mormon church. And the control being exerting according to religious doctrine of one group who happens to put more money in the group and thus limits the boy scouts ability to decide what their organization will be because of special interest groups.
 
[MENTION=8332]isabellajay[/MENTION]
Clear up some things that seem contradictory:

* You say that you are a Mormon; and you basically say that you do not hold the Mormon beliefs. Are you a Mormon, or not?

* If contradictory beliefs are tolerable in Mormonism - I don't know if they are -; Is Mormonism a faith - and if not, what is it?

* You use the expressions "trust me" and "believe me" more frequently than most people. Trust and belief are usually given over time, as people familiarise themselves with a person. Why is it necessary to give you my/our trust and belief in a more expedited manner than usual?

* Do you trust and believe in Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormons?

* If so, what is the foundation of your trust and belief in Him?



In answer to your question - I don't hate Mormons. I just neither trust, nor believe them in the terms they sometimes seem to demand.
 
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For most people its that Mormons proselytize and go door to door. I'm already distrustful to some degree of any person who claims to be part of mainstream religion for various reasons. But having someone come to your door (keep in mind, just coming by someones home to talk to them about your faith feels invasive) can be really off putting. Even though I've never had a rude or unkind Mormon try to talk to me. It still place me in the position that feels vulnerable and put upon.
I hide behind my counter when people come to my door sometimes. Although, I have a friendly relationship with the JW that stop by. It's funny, cause we both know we're never going to believe the other person, but that dang lady always leaves me a pamphlet. I might suggest just being kind when young men/women show up at your door, ready to share what they believe and what they're passionate about. I would much rather have someone just say, "No thank you, I'm really not interested," then have a bunch of curse words and unnecessary attacking. And I think that applies with anyone and anything. "Hey, can I copy your homework?" Just say, "No, I don't want you to copy."

The thing about Boy Scouts is the church has been funding the program a long time and without us, I don't think it would exist anymore. Perhaps you think it best to get rid of the program altogether than try and resolve the issues we are having over time?

As always, thanks for your opinion.
 
Heres a big reason : Mitt Romney.
 
Clear up something that seems contradictory:
* You say that you are a Mormon; and you basically say that you do not hold the Mormon beliefs. Are you a Mormon, or not?

* If contradictory beliefs are tolerable in Mormonism - I don't know if they are -; Is Mormonism a faith - and if not, what is it?

* You use the expressions "trust me" and "believe me" more frequently than most people. Trust and belief are usually given over time, as people familiarise themselves with a person. Why is it necessary to give you my/our trust and belief in a more expedited manner than usual?

* Do you trust and believe in Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormons?

* If so, what is the foundation of your trust and belief in Him?



In answer to your question - I don't hate Mormons. I just neither trust, nor believe them in the terms they sometimes seem to demand.

1. Actually I am a Mormon. I believe in God, Jesus, and I believe in the latter-day prophets.

2. I believe that I am allowed to have an opinion, even if it contradicts with some of church doctrine. I am very conflicted on some issues, but I am never happy when I completely shut my faith out of my life. I know that the questions I have will eventually be answered. For those who don't believe in religion or God, this is completely futile. But that is just it, I do believe.

3. I don't mean that you have to jump aboard and believe what I do. Those weren't my intentions. Some of that may just be the way I speak, or type, rather. :) Part of me really just wants people to understand that there are normal Mormon people. For some reason, people think that we are all identical. For example, my dad and I have different opinions on church doctrines, but we both still have faith.

4. Yes. I do believe in Joseph Smith. I know that he was a human being and that he made mistakes just like the rest of us. Joseph Smith never claimed to be perfect, and as far as I'm concerned, no one is. He did some odd things, but he also did some really amazing things.

5. My belief in him comes from my heart. Some people don't believe in that, but I do. I've had far too many experiences where things have felt right in my heart and with that, I am content. Some people can't push certain things aside and they have to have answers to everything right away, but I know that in time, my questions will be answered, like I said earlier.

I hope I answered everything in a way that clarifies other things I've said up. Thank you for asking questions. :) [MENTION=862]Flavus Aquila[/MENTION]
 
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And [MENTION=731]the[/MENTION], do you hate Romney because he is a politician? Because I'm pretty sure most politicians aren't likable.
 
@isabellajay
If accepting the Mormon faith is not essential to being a Mormon, is having a personal devotion/trust/belief in Joseph Smith essential?
 
[MENTION=862]Flavus Aquila[/MENTION], acutally, I accept the majority of the Mormon faith. There are bits that I am confused about. But the few things I am puzzled by aren't going to destroy the joy and the fullness all the other parts bring me. I think that faith in Joseph Smith is important, but it's something that you'd have to work on. I still don't have complete confidence in my faith, but I am working towards it. There will come a point in this discussion where we are just going to have to agree to disagree because I can't make you feel in your heart what I feel in mine. True?