Men: are women worth the effort?

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Rycka

Rycka

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MBTI
INFJ
Recently I have been thinking that most women easily fall for Chad's, but when it comes to average or below looking men not only you have to get out of your way to create an attraction, but also spend quite a bit of time showing one's value. It seems to me that the effort to return ratio is low and therefore discouraging.

Now then, if most young girls fall for the good looking bad guy archetype, what's then left for other guys? Sure enough, around 30 girls come knocking on the door, but not from the desire, rather from the need. They want a resourceful guy to look after them, but do you want a woman when you didn't get her at her best?

What are your thoughts?
 
Rycka said:
Now then, if most young girls fall for the good looking bad guy archetype, what's then left for other guys?
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Are you sure it's most young girls, or rather the girls that you yourself pursue? I think this is an important question to ask. Maybe the girls you're interested in, and who fall for the good looking bad boy archetype, aren't as interesting as you think. Maybe through focusing on them you're forgetting about other women who are more interesting and less superficial.

Don't get me wrong, the bad boy attraction does exist, it's a real phenomenon but I've found that it wears out over time, as people become older and more mature. You'll notice that, and it's for the best. All that said, of course being confident is attractive, not only to women but to people in general. And confidence does not have to come with what's considered to be "dashing good looks".
 
Ren said:
Are you sure it's most young girls, or rather the girls that you yourself pursue? I think this is an important question to ask. Maybe the girls you're interested in, and who fall for the good looking bad boy archetype, aren't as interesting as you think. Maybe through focusing on them you're forgetting about other women who are more interesting and less superficial.

Don't get me wrong, the bad boy attraction does exist, it's a real phenomenon but I've found that it wears out over time, as people become older and more mature. You'll notice that, and it's for the best. All that said, of course being confident is attractive, not only to women but to people in general. And confidence does not have to come with what's considered to be "dashing good looks".
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Do you think an ugly but confident guy can score as well as the guy who falls into good looking bad boy archetype? No. I also think that more mature and older doesn't necessarily mean better. In most cases, it's visa versa. I don't know how you would think about it, but it would bug me the wrong way to know that your girl has been with 20 d's before she has met you.
 
Rycka said:
Do you think an ugly but confident guy can score as well as the guy who falls into good looking bad boy archetype? No. I also think that more mature and older doesn't necessarily mean better. In most cases, it's visa versa. I don't know how you would think about it, but it would bug me the wrong way to know that your girl has been with 20 d's before she has met you.
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I feel like you didn't read my post, @Rycka, or that you only want to convince yourself that women aren't worth it. I said all that I had to say above. Hopefully this can help you.
 
Somehow, it's always the woman's fault when they don't want to date a guy /s. Maybe, if women aren't interested the issue is your attitude and not so much your looks. Because ugly or less attractive guys do enter into relationships with women every day. Dehumanizing and devaluing women won't get you anywhere. Also, turns out when you devalue others you devalue yourself. So what can you offer others in return? Everyone knows looks aren't everything and don't make a real relationship. And nobody wants to be devalued for having a sex life before you entered into the picture or reduced to a bs archetype because you aren't getting your way. The world is much more complex than Chads and Staceys.
 
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Ren said:
Are you sure it's most young girls, or rather the girls that you yourself pursue?
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Yep

I feel that applying effort by exaggerating value or other forms of peacocking is a waste of time when the real beauty of a relationship lies in the authentic connection. What happens when one does win a girl by making her believe you can meet all of her needs when in reality you spend your time crying in shame in front of your grandma with haggis shoved down your panties?
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
Yep

I feel that applying effort by exaggerating value or other forms of peacocking is a waste of time when the real beauty of a relationship lies in the authentic connection. What happens when one does win a girl by making her believe you can meet all of her needs when in reality you spend your time crying in shame in front of your grandma with haggis shoved down your panties?
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and how often nowadays do you see others having an authentic connection? What does it even mean? Just curious, no offense.
 
Rycka said:
and how often nowadays do you see others having an authentic connection? What does it even mean? Just curious, no offense.
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It happens more often then you might think. Also, that's what I'm after so set out to create that regardless of numbers. If that's what you want, it's up to you to do your part to create it. If it's not what you want then these are just words in your thread.

I should also add to my last post, that I feel excessive peacocking is a waste of time, but we all do it, at least a little, in the early/courtship stage of a relationship. I'm just saying it should be minimized as much as possible. Otherwise, the relationship is built on an illusion and we can't keep up the act forever.
 
Rycka said:
Could you elaborate further?
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Sure. First off it seems to be at least implied that you value young girls more than grown up women. Idk how old you are but it still sounds criminal.
Second you only want a woman at her best. I guess thats understandable. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Maybe your best just isn't good enough.
This seems like a lonely outlook on life, good luck!
 
@Rycka you need to focus on improving yourself, you have no idea what a huge effect that has. This is because exactly the type of man who is moving through life and handling his business is one of the most attractive types of men that there are, at least it seems that way. If you're not having luck with the ladies the answer is not displays of success- it's being successful. Don't exaggerate, achieve- then you'll find success with women, at least to an extent.
 
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Reason With Logic Filling said:
@Rycka you need to focus on improving yourself, you have no idea what a huge effect that has. This is because exactly the type of man who is moving through life and handling his business is one of the most attractive types of men that there are, at least it seems that way. If you're not having luck with the ladies the answer is not displays of success- it's being successful. Don't exaggerate, achieve- then you'll find success with women, at least to an extent.
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Say that to Lily.
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Professor Snep said:
And how many V's are we talking about?:m076:
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You think we can hold women and men on equal terms here?
acd said:
Somehow, it's always the woman's fault when they don't want to date a guy /s. Maybe, if women aren't interested the issue is your attitude and not so much your looks. Because ugly or less attractive guys do enter into relationships with women every day. Dehumanizing and devaluing women won't get you anywhere. Also, turns out when you devalue others you devalue yourself. So what can you offer others in return? Everyone knows looks aren't everything and don't make a real relationship. And nobody wants to be devalued for having a sex life before you entered into the picture or reduced to a bs archetype because you aren't getting your way. The world is much more complex than Chads and Staceys.
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if ugly guys date attractive women every day as you say, it's more like an exception rather than the rule and even if that's the case, one would have to think what an ugly guy brings to the table and what age gap women he is dating? Perhaps women are settling down for the baby, so this shouldn't be used as a basis either. Also, just because the world is more complex than Chads and Staceys it doesn't mean, that humans can't behave in primitive and shallow ways, because they often do.
 
Rycka said:
do you want a woman when you didn't get her at her best?
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I've mostly seen women at their best when they're kicking a bunch of men's ass so I don't want that directed at me all the time, I need some safety and to be able to throw a few punches myself. I also like an even playing field and I'm not much of a fighter, but that's just me.
 
Reason With Logic Filling said:
@Rycka you need to focus on improving yourself, you have no idea what a huge effect that has. This is because exactly the type of man who is moving through life and handling his business is one of the most attractive types of men that there are, at least it seems that way. If you're not having luck with the ladies the answer is not displays of success- it's being successful. Don't exaggerate, achieve- then you'll find success with women, at least to an extent.
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There's truth to this, but if one has a face that nobody wants to look at, then women simply won't give a fuck even if you're successful. I have friends on both sides, the playboys and the ugly ones, so it's really sad to see how the latter gets no attention at all and how girls speak of " soul level relationship " after having good sex with playboys. I'm not saying most girls are, but a lot of them are, especially in the 18-28 age bracket.
 
Rycka said:
You think we can hold women and men on equal terms here?
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No, I think you misunderstand.
Rephrase: how many V's would a 20-D girl have been with?

Because you obviously have statistics, and the good Messrs. MilkChadBandit, Reason with Chad Filling, Wychate, Chuji and undersigned unnamed scholar are very much interested in uuuuuh science and loathe boredom.
 
Rycka said:
Recently I have been thinking that most women easily fall for Chad's, but when it comes to average or below looking men not only you have to get out of your way to create an attraction, but also spend quite a bit of time showing one's value. It seems to me that the effort to return ratio is low and therefore discouraging.

Now then, if most young girls fall for the good looking bad guy archetype, what's then left for other guys? Sure enough, around 30 girls come knocking on the door, but not from the desire, rather from the need. They want a resourceful guy to look after them, but do you want a woman when you didn't get her at her best?

What are your thoughts?
Click to expand...






I am not going to wax poetic about a person's inner beauty as you seem entirely focused upon the superficiality of people and would rather argue about its prevalence. If you wish to remain in that mindset for however long you desire, my advice to you would be simple: look for someone about as attractive as yourself and quit shooting for someone outside your league.
 
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