Mediocrity | INFJ Forum

Mediocrity

benny

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May 4, 2012
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What does it mean to you to be mediocre? What does a life well lived consist of? In terms of the expectations you have of yourself and others, how high is too high?
 
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There you are [MENTION=5448]benny[/MENTION] :smile: Good question. Mediocre in the dictionary definition is "of not good quality". I tend to think of everyone as being mediocre in some aspects, average in some aspects, smokin hot in some aspects, and just plain crummy in some aspects. It's a balance.

A life well lived, well now, there's a question. At this moment in time to me living my life well means; to deeply and profoundly love and be loved, to have passion and inspiration, to find peace and contentment, to experience joy and happiness, to grow as much as possible, to have spent my time here hurting as few people as possible and offering a helping hand to as many as possible. These are the things that are a well lived life to me.
 
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What does it mean to you to be mediocre?
To me, to be in need of improvement unless the common standard is adequate to achieve what needs be done to gain success in matters that are meaningful.

What does a life well lived consist of?
To me, to seek meaning and live with courage and without regrets, in wisdom.

In terms of the expectations you have of yourself and others, how high is too high?
I'm really not sure. I'd like to think that people can always aim higher, but if its not their fault or if its not really needed not to hold it against them...
 
Guess I'll answer my own question, since this thread flopped.

I think most people would agree that mediocrity is an undesirable thing and would associate it, as I do, with not achieving success. But then it's important to evaluate our notions of success. I started reading a book yesterday called The Queer Art of Failure, in which the author states, "I argue that success in a heteronormative, capitalist society equates too easily to specific forms of reproductive maturity combined with wealth accumulation." And this wealth accumulation seems to remain our standard of success, despite the fact that we've all been told a million times that "money can't buy happiness." And I started thinking about high school, where we vote on who's "most likely to succeed." What are we really voting for? Most likely to get rich? It irritates me that this one view of success is imposed on all of us, because it's certainly a shallow one.

Accumulating money and possessions is a lot of people's main goal in life...but what a waste of this existence that is. In the end, you can't take your money and possessions with you. I agree with you, [MENTION=5224]Sadie[/MENTION], that a life well lived, a successful life, is one filled with love and compassion. I like to think that we can take our love with us when we leave.

So when it comes to the expectations we have for our own lives and the behavior of others, I think there's too much pressure to achieve and accomplish. Because what is the value of any achievement that does not come from a place of love? I think that love, kindness, and compassion are the most we should expect from anyone, no matter how small the display.

I'm interested in hearing others' opinions on the matter.
 
Someone once told me "success isn't when we achieve our highest goals. It's how high we bounce when we hit rock bottom." If you asked me this question 20 years ago I would have said something very different. Which makes me wonder if I will re-evaluate it again and have yet a different answer in another 20 years. On another note, someone else once asked me this, "have you ever seen a Uhaul behind a hearse?
 
I think you fail to understand that your model of what determines success is influenced by your own cultural background. It certainly isn't my model for success. For people of different ethnic backgrounds, weatlh accumluation is not the norm for measuirng success. You should understand your own biases too. I was never raised to think that I shoud be rich--I was raised to respect my cultural ways, to live honorably and to think of the welfare of my family and people. However, for the overall public I could see the argument for wealth accumplation SEEMING to be the goal. I however interpret the drive for wealth being the RESULT for the real cultural goal which is TO HAVE/GET/OWN what I want.

I believe we should strive for excellence rather than meeting minimum requirements. One mindset says "how high can I go" and the other says "what is the least work I have to do to pass". I also follow the tenet that only you know how much your honor is worth. When you choose to say "this is who I am", only you can hold yourself accountable to those standards. Our society impostes minimum requirements of acceptable behanvor (laws) which is what I would see as the mediocre level. "I haven't broken any laws" isn't the same as "I have lived a Good LIfe"
 
[MENTION=5224]Sadie[/MENTION] I'll be sure to ask you again in 20 years :p
 
[MENTION=5224]Sadie[/MENTION] I'll be sure to ask you again in 20 years :p

Considering that I'll be pushing 70 in 20 years, I hope I'm still on the planet so you can ask me! LOL
 
[MENTION=5224]Sadie[/MENTION] I hope both of us are :)

[MENTION=3096]Stormy1[/MENTION] I wasn't raised to think I should be rich, either. But American consumer culture certainly encourages that mindset. I think a goal to "have/get/own what I want" is a potentially harmful one.

What is your idea of the excellence that we should strive for?
 
Success is subjective. I think only the indvidual can determine the goal and the measue of it. Society itself has given the guidelines for what is the minimun--pay your bills, don't break laws....and so on. I certainly wouldn't advocate that we should impose ourselves into the process of how an individual actualizes their success. Excellence is what you achieve above and beyond what you thought you couldn't do IMO.
 
That goal wears thin as time goes on and material possessions fail to satisfy.

Mediocrity is acceptance of anything less than what one wants, whatever that may be. In that sense mediocrity is appropriately applied to the majority of people.
 
Mediocrity is acceptance of anything less than what one wants, whatever that may be. In that sense mediocrity is appropriately applied to the majority of people.

It's difficult for it not to be, when the majority of people will always want more than what they now have.
 
Mediocrity is 'just enough around the standard', for me. That is all I can say at the moment.
 
One person's mediocre, is another persons highest achievement possible. So, "mediocre" like "success" is relative. And what do we mean by mediocre? When we say "mediocre," are you talking about effort or outcome? Someone can work extremely to hard and do the best they can on a task or project, and someone evaluates the quality as "mediocre". For someone who excels at whatever they do, Bs are mediocre. For someone who averages Bs will probably see Cs as mediocre. It's a matter of perspective.
 
Mediocrity means not trying and not caring.

Although, sometimes it's meant to demarcate a 'mediocre person', one who will never be 'great' because they were simply born 'mediocre'. Some people are like that, I am told.

I find that depressing to think about, and so I try not to. It's much nicer to imagine that everyone has their own, unique talents...
 
There you are @benny :smile: Good question. Mediocre in the dictionary definition is "of not good quality". I tend to think of everyone as being mediocre in some aspects, average in some aspects, smokin hot in some aspects, and just plain crummy in some aspects. It's a balance.

A life well lived, well now, there's a question. At this moment in time to me living my life well means; to deeply and profoundly love and be loved, to have passion and inspiration, to find peace and contentment, to experience joy and happiness, to grow as much as possible, to have spent my time here hurting as few people as possible and offering a helping hand to as many as possible. These are the things that are a well lived life to me.

I agree with this...

I guess, OP, how I see it is, if you have to live life, and have to be who you are, then why judge it? Why assign good, bad, or mediocre to all that you have? What happens if you die this moment, living a life that you deem to be "mediocre"? It may be a point of view that is grounded in the reality that you see, or that may work for you, but that doesn't work for me. I strive to always want to reach for better and improve myself, and I guess there's no way we can't acknowledge having a sort of baseline and knowing when things drop much below our normal, but I think there is a difference between this and rampantly judging the lives or "status" of yourself and everything around you.
 
I don't think anyone is innately mediocre, rather it depends on how they choose to live their lives. My system goes something like this -> we all go through stages in life, some of these will be stagnant periods... at other times we will grow/thrive. We only become mediocre if we decide that stagnancy is a place worth remaining... as long as we grow, live, and love we are not mediocre. Success is subjective, as is happiness - we can reach these via different means, but we must pursue "new experiences" in order to grow...which can mean very different things to different people.

(simply) To choose idleness over growth is mediocrity... we will all be idle at times, but that doesn't mean it has to become your identity.

I don't think anything is too high, as long as you feel you have the means and ability to undertake it.

(This is, of course, just my opinion on the matter)
 
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I see mediocrity as the inability to rise to our own potential and fulfill individual goals, whatever they may be. Doing just enough to stay afloat, the bare minimum, when you and other people know you're capable of so much more. I'd further extend that definition to not challenging yourself and remaining complacent... even if that itself is your goal. It is, after all, quite possible to set mediocre goals for yourself and argue this is the highest you can achieve without making yourself too uncomfortable.
 
Most people undervalue contentment.

There is a lot to be said for those who have found the ability to be satisfied with their life.

They should be envied, not dismissed as mediocre.
 
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(simply) To choose idleness over growth is mediocrity... we will all be idle at times, but that doesn't mean it has to become your identity.

True.

I see mediocrity as the inability to rise to our own potential and fulfill individual goals, whatever they may be. Doing just enough to stay afloat, the bare minimum, when you and other people know you're capable of so much more.

Agree somewhat. Thing is if you strive to reach your potential but still feel unfulfilled, then it may not seem worth it to strive for excellence. If you find that working hard and doing your best is not achieving the results you want, but that just barely operating above the minimum is less stressful and benefitting you more, then it may not be a negative for that person. Again, this is why I think what do we mean by mediocre? If someone doesn't feel they personally benefit from striving to be the best or do their best, then they will not see themselves as mediocre; they will probably see themselves as struggling or striving without purpose.

Most people undervalue contentment.

There is a lot to be said for those who have found the ability to be satisfied with their life.

They should be envied, not dismissed as mediocre.

agree. We need to include personal fulfillment in our understanding of achievement or success. Sometimes, someone may come to the point where they accept their limits, develop a sense of acceptance about their lives and circumstances and simply decide to be content with what they have instead of striving to have or want more. Maybe, they find they are already fulfilled and find striving useless.

Again, by whose standards are we judging mediocre?

And on the other hand, the idea that we should always be doing something, actively engaged in something, can also be unhealthy, leading us to know when to stop or when to pause, and when to rest. Constant doing can add unnecessary stress because of the pressure.
 
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