Born into catholicism, went pentecostal, then agnostic atheist in attempt to clear the slate, to make it blank again, but alas I could not deny that I was an agnostic theist. Truth be told, these almost ridiculous labels mean little to me, but it is the best way I can get the point a-cross. okay, I'm not even using them very well, but that's not what I mean to say. I went into the eastern religions, tibetan buddhism, the noble eight-fold path, smartist hinduism, new age philosophies, neopagan practice, I dove into Sarte's existentialism, Kant, incorporated practice and guidelines such as avoidance of black magick, abstinence from drugs, the increasingly commonplace toxic substances in nearly anything, and unhealthy lifestyles; celibacy, fasting and prayer; attempting communication and discernment of spirits; learning shamanist, voodoo, dischordian and alchemical philosophy; study of norse, greek, abrahamic, and hindu mythology . . . . all of these areas I continue to learn about and these bring me back -- full circle -- to my christian roots, and this worldview is being integrated and reformed constantly. The goal is to live a selfless life unbound by the grips of the reptilian, egotistical Devil-brain, the genius, obsessive, paranoid, controlling and power-hungry potential within all man, that we are born into, which has been reinforced for millions of years, and is my closest conception of original sin... Testing everything, and holding onto the good in order to remain connected to Unconditional Love who I make my Lord and Saviour, to live a selfless life. I suppose I made Love my God before I understood that God is Love. I am a seeker of gnowledge, and so far I have primarily learned that I gnow just about NOTHING, and I am learning also to be comfortable with that. So, I believe myself to be a christian, and I try to live it to the fullest. It is extremely difficult to do it right, yet it is easier than anything. I refrain from calling myself a christian when I meet new people, because I do not wish that anyone be prone to making assumptions about my political, social, and economical stances when they hear the word "christian," as is unfortunately the case. To properly answer the question with labels, taoism and christianity are the belief systems I employ the most and am familiar with, and my wonder dives into the mystical aspects of these beliefs many times, every day. I am constantly putting forward an intention to be in communion with the everlasting, transcendent path of life; I'm talking about Love, I'm talking about God, I'm talking about . . . the Borneless One Beyond the Night of Time. In regards to world religions as a social phenomenon, I'd say that apparent contradiction and paradox within frameworks of orthodoxy are what attract me the most (while also being most repulsive).
I still have not properly answered your question, and I feel that the more I attempt to describe my faith, the more I expunge the meaning of what I wish to communicate. I'll give it one more shot:
I never feel alone anymore.
