Love/Friends- only motivation to succeed

Maybe you should be a teacher. You'll always be surrounded by other people.

 

What if a concept could motivate you?

For instance, recursion turns me on. Finally getting a programming project to run exactly to the specifications is an amazing feeling. Right now, I'm learning the history of Rhetoric, and it's amazing. Socrates and Aristotle believed what? OMG, I LOVE THIS CLASS!

 

I understand. I feel this way right now, and I'm having a really tough time doing pretty much anything.
We're all motivated by the desire to fulfill different needs.

 

I somewhat feel the same way you're feeling and have actually pondered why it's so difficult for me to get motivated on my own at times. Often I'd get real excited over an idea such as trying to achieve a 4.0 GPA or making my school's basketball team, only for that fuel to burn off about a week later. I guess it comes down to understanding what you really want in life. I agree with Last Dawn's teacher suggestion. If your like me and are interseted in why people act the way they do, the social sciences are great. A social scientist is a perfect example of someone whose motivated by people and enjoys learning as much as possible about them.

 

I don't think it's a problem that you don't feel motivated by society. If it pains you, then look the other way. Look for what does motivate you and follow that course. The things that SJs and their cronies chase after are of little consequence to those among us who prize humanity above power and its trappings. Let them have their toys and their games and focus yourself on your love and your people. You will find your niche, if only you don't give up on looking for it.

 

I feel the same way. Actually, what motivates many people is the feeling of inferiority or other negative emotions. Life is pretty meaningless without someone loving you.

It is hell.

 

I think I understand your point of view more than you ever know, accordingly I am a teacher. I can't to a job that hasn't got an observable positive effect on humans. I used to strive to be perfect all the time and I then asked would I demand any of my friends to be perfect 24-7? why should I hold such unrealistic expectations for myself for the purpose of being loved?

To be loved is something that is often unexplainable some people will fall in love with you for your strengths and your corresponding flaws. I know the women I would fall for, other people can't understand why I like them and I usually know anyhow.

I believe in self improvement to a point, but I'm sure you heard this all before but its about valuing yourself and making sure you do a job that means something to you and do fun stuff that you find fun.

In short you seem nice, fuck society's demands and just be a good person and join stuff to have fun and meet new people!

its a numbers game, If you join the stuff you like and meet like mind people you will give yourself a better chance to find someone who understands you well.

 

Yeah. I've noticed there are INFJs who are strongly motivated by relationships. I think this is good to a point. If it's all you're after then you will suffer because you will become clung to that idea and will chase after it aggressively to the point where you feel, if you haven't got that, then you may as well be dead- which is very destructive and it's a one ticket to depression.

I feel like the way you describe right now. I've moved city for uni and this past week I've done... not much in, my new flat- the course starts on Monday. Obviously everything is new and I have no real connections. So the only real goals I have to go on is my course/career/training. That's great but I don't have those relationship goals either. Which makes it all feel a bit meaningless. I know it isn't because my career and training is half of me but because I've lost those connections and a possible relationship with someone because I've moved out of the sphere of their life, I feel like I don't have anything. But you need to be able to operate with out relationships because when you do get in one, it's not because you need it, it's because you want it.

 

It sounds like you feel a need for other people. How do you feel when you're alone?

 

It's an INFJ thing.

Your motivation is inspired by the feelings of other, I would imagine. It's not necessarily about you feeling better by their validation, but by your achievements benefiting another human being. If it doesn't benefit someone, you don't feel like you've achieved something important.

To you, I would imagine an "achievement" is when you make someone smile or laugh, or help they reach a goal. For someone else, an "achievement" is solving a complex task, or figuring out how to approach thing.

I's just different for each person.

 

yeah that's true...... without other humans, there's no will to live..

that's true for me, 3 YEARS BEFORE...... now it's DIFFERENT
i realized that I needED others but then people have always failed my expectations, and so i conclude that if i base everything, my motivation, my success on other people, then i would end up being a failure.

i don't want to depend EVERYTHING on other people especially things for myself. i find it hard NOT TO DO SO, but then, if i do, I KNOW FOR SURE that i would fail..

so YEAH NOW..... I DON'T WANT TO BE MOTIVATED BY ANY OTHER PEOPLE EXCEPT MYSELF