Lots of respect for someone but apprehensive to engage the person?? | INFJ Forum

Lots of respect for someone but apprehensive to engage the person??

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by WellNoWonder, Apr 21, 2010.

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  1. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    Here on the forum??



    There are people I follow around here like I'm a lost puppy, but when it comes to participating in their posts, I just don't.

    Like I'm in awe of the person...which I am a lot when I'm reading here because people just have wonderful insight into situations. I never read a predictable response here.

    Not requesting anyone rat themselves out, just wondering if anyone else feels like this..
     
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  2. Gaze

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    Love your sig :D

    But who are you intimidated by and why?

    I guess for me, those philosophy/religion threads I avoid because I know I don't know enough to have a intelligent dialogue with someone on the topic. So, I stay away. Once in a while I'll try to post something based on what I know but then I avoid it because I question whether I can really add anything to the debate. lol. Same with the science or tech stuff. I'm in awe of it, but I know next to nothing about technical or scientific things.
     
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    #2 Gaze, Apr 21, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2010
  3. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    I am one that has gotten enamored with people in the past fairly easily. I still can at times. I can be a harsh critic, but when someones "in" they are "in" and I become quite fascinated with them. Being older now, I'm more aware of the tendency and can keep a lid on it. It hearkens back to OCD, which I happen to think all INFJ types are susceptible to. We are very cautious, but when we are in, we're ALL in.

    As far as participating in others posts and engaging someone, I don't think you need hold back here. As you have already said, there are so many insightful and kind people on this forum. It's a place for learning and growing. You do that by being involved. I feel almost to a post, people want others to comment and interact. That's why we post things, to bounce them off others and get opinions, and to share with others we consider like-minded friends. Everyones voice is valuable--and unique.
     
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  4. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Post away all you want.

    One of the big benefits of having a forum like this is that you can say what you think/want. If someone doesn't like it, or shoots it down at least you can try to find out why.

    Admiration (puppy dogishness) is best expressed by imitation - so pipe up.
     
  5. OP
    WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    Thanks!!! :D

    I don't know if it's intimidation as much as some kind of reverence....Corny, I know. I do this in the physical world too. I must be some kind of stalker..lol

    I always read Satya's threads with wide eyes because I KNOW I'm going to learn something new. But I don't say much because I'm learning, perhaps? Hm?

    I was just telling someone else about myself this past weekend. I think I discussed this here before. When I gain interest in someone, I'm very interested....so either I'm interested or I'm not. Not much in between there.

    It sucks that genuine interest can be taken as aggressiveness *sigh*. But then I think too, that people are generally very suspicious of caring people nowadays. The world is just that way.
     
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  6. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    I have to agree with QP here. And yes I get stuck on people I like. I find it creepy even if I'm the one doing it. So I try to not gush to much on people to much.

    I think I've heard this described as wanted to merge or like morph into another person. In other words when we like you we may go OMGBBQZOG we loves you tell us all about you. I know I've done this in the past. It comes from I think the feeling that most don't get us and we find someone we think might get us or we think is an awesome person we kind of lose our minds a bit.
     
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  7. Stu

    Stu Constipated
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    I find myself drawn to your posts for this reason. I find your take on things thoughtful and different. Thank you for posting.
     
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  8. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    I have the same thing except that I'm in awe of my own posts.
     
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  9. NeverAmI

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    I am currently listening to a lecture on argumentation and in it they mention how social relations are built upon influencing one another. It would make sense that when you find someone who's influence shows a positive impact on your life, you want more.

    I have mentioned before that I have a tendency to want to pick apart the brains of those which I find have strengths. In the past I have done this; the whole process makes sense. Typically, for me, this happens only when I have physical access to someone over a long period of time such as a roomie or a co-worker because it takes me so long to feel comfortable enough to open up; it is not uncommon for that to take over a year for me.

    I think everyone feels some level of intimidation when considering replying to someone who seems to be intellectually robust. This is because your every word is put into check, you feel like your post has to be *perfect* otherwise some imperfection will be picked apart. A lot of times this is irrational because a person that is truly out to gain knowledge or to advance their insight does not dismiss input based on some trivial error.

    I think the only time true intimidation should be warranted is if one has consistently provided information which is completely useless to the topic at hand. Again, that is subjective and we find more times than not that one's own biases can blind one from simply seeing the use in others' posts.

    If you have a different perspective to share, then by all means share it! Even if you are considered 'wrong' by some, that doesn't mean those who don't speak up haven't gained anything from it. The idea is to accept your own faults, understand that at times you will find new perspectives that challenge your own and perhaps you will say some things that really make your previous statement seem ignorant. That happens to me all the time. It is a sign of growth and it is quite tasty. :D
     
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  10. RecklessDreamer

    RecklessDreamer Permanent Fixture

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    This happens to me with a few people here! I think it's just that the people on this forum are utterly amazinggg.
     
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  11. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    I am with you on this one. I wish the timezone did not have such a huge impact on my online time though. The time I do have I now mainly use to read and learn but yes there are members here that totally floor me and I also do not participate in their posts as I feel they are in a league of their own - I am in awe also :love:
     
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    #11 dark_angel, Apr 22, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2010
  12. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    WellNoWonder, you should just blurt out their name and then run away.
     
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  13. NeverAmI

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    What if they have running shoes on??? Jk lol
     
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  14. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    Then everyone's happy! :)

    I'm not trying to make light of your request, Wonder, I'm just trying to think of what a kid would do to solve the problem. (Lately I've been inspired by my kids to solve problems this way.)
     
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  15. OP
    WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    lol... Oh I'm always making light. I think I derail threads quite often so feel free....AND I FEEL YOU on the kids thing. I copy their responses to things when I'm at a loss!

    What's weird is I get the feeling others probably think the same of me, but I don't want anyone to feel that way about me.

    It wouldn't hurt my feelings or nothin.. I just think it's cool to have introverts extrovert toward each other. Is it me or have you guys gotten a little bit more..assertive?!?!!? aggressive (not in a bad way)?!?!?!

    Hm.
    I think we should start some threads blurting out people's names in the title and then run...

    wait...we already do that...hee hee
     
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  16. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    Been working on getting over social anxiety. Been stressed from work too, among other things.

    Getting over social anxiety is nice because I can feel comfort to simply exist now, which I honestly couldn't find before. However my patience is considerably less than it used to be. I am more transparent and more inclined to be assertive/aggressive as you mentioned.
     
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