Loss of Ni

[Trifoilum]

Have you ever experienced a loss of your inner eye / vision?
A sort of inability to pierce through the mist, so to speak? To see the pattern.

I'm in that state, and.....I don't know why I kept hitting this state, especially during these couple of years. (mental exhaustion, perhaps; but what caused it? What caused Ni to specifically shut down?)
I'm curious about whether this is just my craziness or whether it's a shared one.
How do you take care of it?

(Inspired by my messaging with @Bird, so I suppose the question should be extended to you as well, milady )

 

[jupiterswoon]

I've felt that way before, sometimes I feel like maybe it is due to school- where even as a psychology student the scientific method and empiricism are rigorously studied. Lately I've been way more focused on pragmatism and behaviorism- so if people ask me to psychoanalyze something like a piece of art, or a a movie, or a person, I won't be as spot on in my observations as I might have been before- partially because I no longer see it as a "science" albeit an intuitive one.

 

[casie]

It's so hard when this happens. You feel like a babe in the woods. As I understand it, this happens when something causes you to rely on other, inferior cognitive functions. I don't know how this process works, but you may want to start there. I also try to identify which kind of functions I am using, and try to understand why they might be necessary at that point.

 

[gen10]

This feeling is the worst.
It's like a complete loss of self.

I first began to loose my Ni in my early teens, my depression and paranoia took it over.
It caused me to think I was completely without any purpose or understanding of anything.
At about age 17 it came back, so I lived without it for years.

When it came back it seemed foreign.
Because I'd been so messed up with mental illnesses for years, I thought I was suffering psychosis and depersonalization disorder.
Depersonalization disorder is a disorder that causes you to have out of body experiences and not feeling like you're in your body or in control.
This all sent me spiraling into multiple mental break downs and complete paranoia and frustration and loss of knowing what was real and a dream.

Then, several months ago I was meditating and realized I could access all this energy and put things together so well, so then after that I found out I was an INFJ and everything clicked and made sense, the more I researched and connected the dots, I realized I wasn't insane at all, my mind was just finally coming back to it's real self.

Since it's still very new again to me, I'm still getting confused with it and paranoid.
But the more I go into my own mind, the more I can see what I'm feeling is real.

Your Ni will come back. It always does.
Your Ni is your foundation. It's your strongest trait.
There's no way it will go without a fight.

 

[sassafras]

Technically, if you feel like you're losing your Ni, it's because something in your environment or situation is pushing up against the insecurities and secret wishes of the inferior function, which for INFJs, would be Se. It awakens the INFJ's desires to connect with the outer world and just 'be' in the moment vs. in your head.

Consider your self-talk and actions as of late, and ask yourself if maybe you feel like on a subconscious level, your beliefs about yourself are challenging the natural gifts of your Ni in favour of satisfying your often neglected Se.

For instance, have you been suppressing your emotions? What goes in must come out, and holding onto ideas or obsessions without finding an outlet massively irritates your Se. Are you focusing too much on perfection? Are you doubting yourself and as a result, obsessing over 'facts' and external data to inform your truths? Your Se may be telling you that you've spent way too long in your head and you know it and are facing the consequences of sorting out fact from ideal. Are you feeling tired of your mind constantly giving you the internal run-around and you just want to 'be' like everyone else? Are your avoiding facing reality because all you want is inner peace and a little bit of a break to just be? Do you feel you've been really uptight and boring and wanting to live a little more dangerously or in the moment? Your Se wants to play too and is asking you to relax and let loose a little.

Have you been cooped up in one place for too long and haven't seen enough of the world or have you not been getting enough physical exercise? INJs need stimulation (both mental and physical) for their Ni to work properly and unfortunately, not a lot of INJs get out enough or exercise regularly. Get rid of some pent up energy with some physical exertion and look into a change if scenery to shift your perspective.

The core lessons of the Ni-Se dominant-inferior pair is balancing the needs of both the body and the mind and finding the happy middle between idealism and reality.

Find a way to make your Se function happy in a healthy, happy, guilt-free way and sooth its concerns. A happy Se is a happy Ni; they work together.

 

[SpecialEdition]

I think whatever Ni I used to have I shut it off. I found that when it was sky high I got way too drawn into myself and my mind and my perceptions. Over the last year and a half or so I have actively dulled it. I purposely try to keep it from wiggling out too much because I think living a bit more in the present and really indulging all of my senses has done a world of good for my stress and anxiety. Who knows, maybe I'll swing back around and pick it up again. I don't miss it too much but do catch myself feeling a little disconnect from... myself. lol.

 

[LucyJr]

Yeah, I have lost Ni once. It felt terrible, it was like the world upside down, just crazy.
I never want to loss my Ni again, I never, my precious Ni. I found it, I have to be careful not to lose it again. I think my left sock will be a good place to keep it. Where are you keeping it yours (if you're not lost it, of course, in which case, how could you loose you own Ni)?

I don't know where is the head of INFJs, they "loss" their own very Ni. That is bad, "loss of Ni". Never do that again INFJ in your whole life!!! You have only one Ni, and threads like these won't help you to find it...poor Ni.

 

[LucyJr]

this thread is killing me...with remorse. Poor Ni!

 

[Cosima]

I am experiencing this right now and I just realize why. I was criticized for being introvert and relying on my intuition too much and I tried to re-invent myself in a wrong way. I became a creature of obsessions and felt like I am going insane for a short time. I trusted wrong people, I obsessed about my boyfriend´s ex and gradually stop getting along with people. Hope it gets better.

 

[highlander]

Have you ever experienced a loss of your inner eye / vision?
A sort of inability to pierce through the mist, so to speak? To see the pattern.

I'm in that state, and.....I don't know why I kept hitting this state, especially during these couple of years. (mental exhaustion, perhaps; but what caused it? What caused Ni to specifically shut down?)
I'm curious about whether this is just my craziness or whether it's a shared one.
How do you take care of it?

(Inspired by my messaging with @Bird, so I suppose the question should be extended to you as well, milady )

Yes, this happened to me once at least. I believe I was in a sustained Ni-Fi loop. It's not that the Ni wasn't there. It just wasn't particularly functional. I kept going around in circles. I wish I could tell you how I got out of it but I'm not sure. It correlated with much stronger use of Te. Somehow, I got balanced again. I think maybe i put myself in situations where my natural strengths could be utilized and it just seemed to work itself out.

 

[Trifoilum]

wai, I just realized there are some replies. Sorry! >_< hold on, replying

 

[Trifoilum]

I've felt that way before, sometimes I feel like maybe it is due to school- where even as a psychology student the scientific method and empiricism are rigorously studied. Lately I've been way more focused on pragmatism and behaviorism- so if people ask me to psychoanalyze something like a piece of art, or a a movie, or a person, I won't be as spot on in my observations as I might have been before- partially because I no longer see it as a "science" albeit an intuitive one.

It's so hard when this happens. You feel like a babe in the woods. As I understand it, this happens when something causes you to rely on other, inferior cognitive functions. I don't know how this process works, but you may want to start there. I also try to identify which kind of functions I am using, and try to understand why they might be necessary at that point.

Back then; yes, I believe it was lethargy; lethargy, a feeling of meaninglessness on the things I do (and the resulting helplessness), and a feeling of....well, distracted; focusing on the wrong thing (office politics and how 'wicked' the office was.)

I think it was like, my Ni sees everything wrong, but so many constraints (time, energy, my own projects) were there, it all just....fails. Fuckups.

It is a nice thing to talk about behaviorism; because that was DEFINITELY what I had back then. Ti trying to fulfill Ni's job-- trying to quickly snipe things as wrong or right, instead of trying to look at it deeper. Less patience, more shortcuts.

It's been a while. I hope you're doing better, [MENTION=5301]jupiterswoon[/MENTION] >_<
[MENTION=11624]casie[/MENTION]; I agree. I think it's a ridiculous combo of all functions; Ni tries to formulate plans; Se cannot do it (because of laziness, or distraction, or pure limited constraint); Ti couldn't help but criticize, at the same time Fe sees the world and its emotional, social connections, and went berserk for the sake of projection.

 

[Trifoilum]

Technically, if you feel like you're losing your Ni, it's because something in your environment or situation is pushing up against the insecurities and secret wishes of the inferior function, which for INFJs, would be Se. It awakens the INFJ's desires to connect with the outer world and just 'be' in the moment vs. in your head.

Consider your self-talk and actions as of late, and ask yourself if maybe you feel like on a subconscious level, your beliefs about yourself are challenging the natural gifts of your Ni in favour of satisfying your often neglected Se.

For instance, have you been suppressing your emotions? What goes in must come out, and holding onto ideas or obsessions without finding an outlet massively irritates your Se. Are you focusing too much on perfection? Are you doubting yourself and as a result, obsessing over 'facts' and external data to inform your truths? Your Se may be telling you that you've spent way too long in your head and you know it and are facing the consequences of sorting out fact from ideal. Are you feeling tired of your mind constantly giving you the internal run-around and you just want to 'be' like everyone else? Are your avoiding facing reality because all you want is inner peace and a little bit of a break to just be? Do you feel you've been really uptight and boring and wanting to live a little more dangerously or in the moment? Your Se wants to play too and is asking you to relax and let loose a little.

Have you been cooped up in one place for too long and haven't seen enough of the world or have you not been getting enough physical exercise? INJs need stimulation (both mental and physical) for their Ni to work properly and unfortunately, not a lot of INJs get out enough or exercise regularly. Get rid of some pent up energy with some physical exertion and look into a change if scenery to shift your perspective.

The core lessons of the Ni-Se dominant-inferior pair is balancing the needs of both the body and the mind and finding the happy middle between idealism and reality.

Find a way to make your Se function happy in a healthy, happy, guilt-free way and sooth its concerns. A happy Se is a happy Ni; they work together.

Oh, TDHT, my love; what can I do without you. T_T

I think you had, at that time uncovered a significant part on it on your own; yes, some part of me wants me to connect with the outer world; something like, 'hey, now you're one of them! You are working! You're not 'different', you're not an unemployed loser. KEEP GOING AND YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU WANT' (at that time, I thought it was love. Connection.)

At the same time another part of Se wants to be satisfied; the part that wants to do and do; to focus on the task at hand, and fuck the rest.
At the same time I think it's not exactly challenged by Ni; my Ni -knows- it is pointless, useless; and Ni knows my energy and time should be spent somewhere ELSE. but bound.
Ti knows how wrong they all are, but she has not the capacity to change it.
My Fe directs it to other people; to Facebook (for people's attention gave me a little solace, even now.) but then, the ugly state of everything made me worse.

And then I hate everything. I hated myself, the way I was becoming and am becoming; for staying.

And your advice; your latter part of your post, TDHT; I can apply some to it now.

 

[LucyJr]

this thread is like a parody!

 

[Trifoilum]

I think whatever Ni I used to have I shut it off. I found that when it was sky high I got way too drawn into myself and my mind and my perceptions. Over the last year and a half or so I have actively dulled it. I purposely try to keep it from wiggling out too much because I think living a bit more in the present and really indulging all of my senses has done a world of good for my stress and anxiety. Who knows, maybe I'll swing back around and pick it up again. I don't miss it too much but do catch myself feeling a little disconnect from... myself. lol.

It's been a while; has it been this way still? Did it do good?
(I think it's this sort of sentiment that tempted my Se; the idea that 'if you just focus to the world, the stress and anxiety will evaporate'. Not that it's bad; and I'm certainly glad you're doing better.)

Yeah, I have lost Ni once. It felt terrible, it was like the world upside down, just crazy.
I never want to loss my Ni again, I never, my precious Ni. I found it, I have to be careful not to lose it again. I think my left sock will be a good place to keep it. Where are you keeping it yours (if you're not lost it, of course, in which case, how could you loose you own Ni)?

I don't know where is the head of INFJs, they "loss" their own very Ni. That is bad, "loss of Ni". Never do that again INFJ in your whole life!!! You have only one Ni, and threads like these won't help you to find it...poor Ni.

I don't know if I had lost it; but back then it's almost close. I don't know what would save me; or what would push me to the edge. Right now it's more....present, but I'm faced in another nadir point. And I think I fear THIS.

I do think it's somewhere inside my pillow though. XD Left sock, huh; do remember to take it out before washing it!

I am experiencing this right now and I just realize why. I was criticized for being introvert and relying on my intuition too much and I tried to re-invent myself in a wrong way. I became a creature of obsessions and felt like I am going insane for a short time. I trusted wrong people, I obsessed about my boyfriend´s ex and gradually stop getting along with people. Hope it gets better.

I hope you're doing better.
Oh yes, reinventing oneself is also one facet of it, AFAIK-- the idea that a certain me would make things better; would decrease the words; the unsolicited advice, the feelings of guilt and shame. And then it entailed a certain thing; meeting with certain people, doing certain things.. >_<

 

[Trifoilum]

this thread is like a parody!

I'm glad you find something funny here xD

 

[SpecialEdition]

It's been a while; has it been this way still? Did it do good?
(I think it's this sort of sentiment that tempted my Se; the idea that 'if you just focus to the world, the stress and anxiety will evaporate'. Not that it's bad; and I'm certainly glad you're doing better.)

I live a better, more present life now. I feel more "me." I don't get trapped inside my head and there's less confusion and dissonance between how I think and feel vs. how I behave. I think my Ni is tied a bit into empathy, even though it doesn't make sense. But I notice that as I live a bit more concretely that I somehow relate to people less. I don't connect to their inner world nor do I have the desire to. In some ways this is not as good. I figure I will balance out over time.

 

[sassafras]

There is a difference between literally and figuratively 'losing' something. You never actually 'lose' your Ni, so much as you experience an emphasis of your other functions that seem to compete with or challenge your functional norm afforded by your dominant. Your Ni doesn't change it's primary functioning; it's use is always the same. What happens when we get older is we learn how to balance all our functions.

 

[dudemanbro]

Fe [...] Facebook.

Fe-book.

 

[Trifoilum]

I live a better, more present life now. I feel more "me." I don't get trapped inside my head and there's less confusion and dissonance between how I think and feel vs. how I behave. I think my Ni is tied a bit into empathy, even though it doesn't make sense. But I notice that as I live a bit more concretely that I somehow relate to people less. I don't connect to their inner world nor do I have the desire to. In some ways this is not as good. I figure I will balance out over time.

I see. *nods nods*

There is a difference between literally and figuratively 'losing' something. You never actually 'lose' your Ni, so much as you experience an emphasis of your other functions that seem to compete with or challenge your functional norm afforded by your dominant. Your Ni doesn't change it's primary functioning; it's use is always the same. What happens when we get older is we learn how to balance all our functions.

I agreed. XD-- losing for many people here, including me, would mean other functions overpowering the dominant function.
Sometimes it's good (thus, balancing); other times it's not (thus, losing)

Fe-book.

Yeah. It's like a court in a different way