Killing with Kindness | INFJ Forum

Killing with Kindness

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Julia, May 30, 2009.

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  1. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    Have you ever had someone invalidate you or cause problems because they were too naive to respect your position? Or they used the premise of kindness in a way that dismissed a real problem in your life? Or as a way to intrude and judge? Unfun.
     
    #1 Julia, May 30, 2009
    Last edited: May 30, 2009
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  2. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    I think you should listen to your gut and get as far away from that guy as you can get!
    And yes, that invalidation is pretty hard to stomach. And it's hard to ever see the person who did it in the same light again, so it's disappointing. After an encounter like the one you described I feel as though I have to scrape sludge off myself. Just ugh!
     
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  3. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Yeah, I hate it when people do that, especially if they are doing so on religious grounds.
     
  4. Lune Froide

    Lune Froide Community Member

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    Yes!
     
    #4 Lune Froide, May 30, 2009
    Last edited: May 30, 2009
  5. OP
    Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    Thank you, sumone. I ended up feeling embarrassed and removed the story, but I appreciate your comment a great deal. My intuition is basically on red-alert. I second guess every thought, but my gut is quite certain in this case.
     
  6. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    yes, especially if they are remarkably self-righteous about it
     
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  7. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Yeah. And like Dragon said, esp. if it is on religious grounds. And then they justify it as, "I'm only being honest."

    No, you're f'n not. You're being arrogant and mentally oppressive, and stomping all over my boundaries..
     
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  8. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    it gets worse when that very person is someone you want to care about, and you do. if that person weren't important to me, i don't think it would frustrate me as much.
     
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  9. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    Happened to me too.
    Bah just get away from the person and continue living.
    Why waste anymore beath on something thats not gonna benefit you anyway :)
     
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  10. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    I just had it happen to me in the last day. I don't know if I should be angry, or if there was something true to it. (It had explicit religious context).

    Am I just kidding myself trying to practice religion... am I just not the right material to work with...

    (I am strangely unsure of my goals now).
     
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  11. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    You aren't kidding yourself. Let people have their opinions, but don't hold onto their opinions. Let them pass. You choose what is important to you.

    If you find peace and meaning in your religion then continue to practice and find peace and meaning.
     
  12. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Past, don't sweat it Flavus. Questioning yourself is just a signal for growth. Show yourself patience. Try adding or removing some part of your routine when worshiping and see things improve. Often we can be reactionary to things we might otherwise brush off.

    I wouldn't butt in with my two-cent opinion, however, I've seen how strongly you feel about God and religion as a compass for you. Hang in there, we all go through self-doubt :D
     
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  13. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    Convert to Islam
     
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  14. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

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    ...Or Buddhism?
     
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  15. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Can you imagine... I'd have a dozen wives and I'd go the whole nine yards: acid on the face, beatings, requiring they walk behind me, they'd have to cover their faces, so I don't have to see their misery, consent free sex, a quick turnover of divorce/remarriage.... Not to mention being able to bring the full extent of my deviousness and intellect to the forcing of infidels.

    I'd be the Grand mufti in the harem of hard knocks... Plus I'd have the sjws covering for my cultural differences.


    Nah... as fun and fancy free as it sounds, I don't think the meaning of human existence is found in a psychopathic wet dream... nor is the author of that existence to be discovered in that type of hyper degradation of his creatures.

    (Thanks for giving me the entree to a good rant... I'm less dither-ey already).
     
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  16. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Annihilation of suffering, through annihilation of desire... Um.... no.
     
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  17. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

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    In the Buddhism I practice it's 'earthly desires lead to enlightenment', so you can't really go wrong.
    You don't have to irradiate desire, to desire is human,- we wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning without desire..
    It's more about turning 'poison into medicine' I guess you can explain that as trying to make what you desire something that is good for you, or if it isn't finding a way to make it so, or changing it into something that is good for you.

    Also what we learn through what we desire, whether it's an achieved goal or not can change us and help us grow...or change our objectives, or ultimately ourselves. If that makes sense?
     
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  18. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    What is enlightenment in terms of medicinal desires?
     
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  19. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

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    How do you mean?
     
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  20. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

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    It must a relief to be able to speak your mind...to not be 'undercover' so to speak at last!
     
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