Keeping People Around | INFJ Forum

Keeping People Around

C

chain

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Jul 5, 2009
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Is it a typical INFJ trait to keep people around that aren't half their caliber?
 
I don't think I really understand the question?
 
Oh, you are referring to the magnificence that is the INFJ and how they deal by being surrounded by "lower" types, yes? Well, I'm very accommodating.
 
Lol- I don't think I have that superiority thing? Others might disagree. I have been called pious on a few occasions :p
 
chain said:
Is it a typical INFJ trait to keep people around that aren't half their caliber?
Click to expand...
No, it's just a known trait for some (not all) INFJs to be so involved in their own identity that they think the people around them are "lesser" individuals.

It makes them feel good about themselves, I guess.
 
If you mean keeping around people who have many flaws for improvement, probably. I tend to be drawn to people with inner conflict. It seems I have an urge to try and fix it. It's like an unsettlement in my environment that is constantly prodding at me.

So people who need some sort of help... yeah I keep them around. I don't like the prospect of leaving someone defenseless or vulnerable to future damage.

If you mean social status and class however, that sort of thing doesn't matter to me. I'm not one to descriminate on lower education nor do I put value in material possesions. I value a person for the person themselves and not their outward appearance unless of course it defines them in some way. The amount of money they have or the amount of connections or friends they have may give some indication of who the person is but it doesn't display the whole picture. If I deem that person is someone I'd like the company of, then I will seek it and keep it.
 
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Maybe if I complicate the Hell out of a simple question, it might go over better:

Is it a typical INFJ trait to take people into their circles and keep up relationships with people that cost more than they benefit? Say, for example... fools and/or those without integrity?
 
Indie.J said:
If you mean keeping around people who have many flaws for improvement, probably. I tend to be drawn to people with inner conflict. It seems I have an urge to try and fix it. It's like an unsettlement in my environment that is constantly prodding at me.

So people who need some sort of help... yeah I keep them around. I don't like the prospect of leaving someone defenseless or vulnerable to future damage.

If you mean social status and class however, that sort of thing doesn't matter to me. I'm not one to descriminate on lower education nor do I put value in material possesions. I value a person for the person themselves and not their outward appearance unless of course it defines them in some way. The amount of money they have or the amount of connections or friends they have may give some indication of who the person is but it doesn't display the whole picture. If I deem that person is someone I'd like the company of, then I will seek it and keep it.
Click to expand...

What I meant is close enough to the first.

Thank you. I appreciate the straight answer.
 
I like just about everyone, and I really don't hate anyone. I don't judge someone unless they really deserve it; if someone's an asshole, I probably won't want to be around them, but I think that's a pretty common thing.
 
I prefer to be around people who are on more or less the same level as me. I don't want to be around people who are a lot more intelligent then me, or people who are a lot less intelligent then me.

However, I tend to have more friends who are interested in different things then I am. I am not close with any friend that is into science like I am. They are intelligent in other ways. I honestly, don't get along with people who are too much like I am. It's a mirror effect, and I don't like that.
 
I'm pretty much the exact opposite. I try to avoid people I don't have respect for. All of my friends are beautiful (in more ways than the physical) and magnificent. I look up to the people around me, and like it that way.
 
To all outward appearances someone may seem like a fool but the INFJ might see something deeper. They may want to explore it but might stay too long at the fair at times so to speak.
My husband and I differ in this area. He will quickly assess a person and decide whether or not to give them the time of day.
With me, I'll give anyone the time of day.
It's either a blessing or a curse, just like everything.



chain said:
Maybe if I complicate the Hell out of a simple question, it might go over better:

Is it a typical INFJ trait to take people into their circles and keep up relationships with people that cost more than they benefit? Say, for example... fools and/or those without integrity?
Click to expand...
 
chain said:
Is it a typical INFJ trait to take people into their circles and keep up relationships with people that cost more than they benefit? Say, for example... fools and/or those without integrity?
Click to expand...

I have no tolerance for people without integrity. It's one of my guiding traits. Someone can have problems and, sure, it maybe they are a hassle or are difficult but if they are inherently a good person or aren't corrupt, then I will help someone with their problems/keep them around because everyone deserves help and people to depend on. But of course, I have learnt from experience who to help and who not to. Where and where not to expend my energy. I'll know if someone is not of high enough moral calibre fairly quickly and I'll avoid them if they aren't but anyone else? Well shit, I need more friends, so...
 
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