Jealousy | INFJ Forum

Jealousy

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by yukon1, Jul 27, 2010.

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  1. yukon1

    yukon1 Newbie

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    So I view jealousy as a fairly toxic emotion although natural to us all. I personally feel little jealousy which I am thankful for. I am curious as to others opinions on jealousy being a good emotion to a lesser degree and a bad emotion when its to a larger degree - so to speak.


     
  2. denkster06

    denkster06 Regular Poster

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    without a hint of jealousy people would probably go nowhere in life
     
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  3. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    Maybe those who compare themselves to others.
     
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  4. denkster06

    denkster06 Regular Poster

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    thats probably still a slight form of jealousy
     
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  5. IndigoSensor

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    I find jealousy to be a bad emotion. Envy is another form of it that I also see in this light, but to a lesser extent. Jealousy can be very deteremental to ones psyche if they allow it to take over, as it can override ones moral code and lead to ill behavior such as lying, cheating, stealing, etc. More or less using other people by any means to overcome the jealous feelings. I find this to be a very negative character. Jealousy and envy can lead to growth with a person if it provides a drive for them. However I find other drives to be of a much stronger and healthy effect. As those two emotions are derived from lack of something (more or less) and feelings of being below. Where as you can look at it from a different angle and actually strive for the same goal being driven by a positive force.
     
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  6. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    oh jealousy. is there anyone on earth who isn't jealous of something someone else has, at some time? i doubt it. i think it can be a good motivator in small doses, pushes you to improve yourself, become better than you are, but too much and it'll consume you, corrupting every other thought and emotion, poisoning every experience. but then, maybe that's true of every emotion! i believe it has its place :)
     
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  7. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    Jealousy is a symptom, not a root cause. Even so, emotional signals are definitely strong motivators. For those that can't dig far enough to find the root of the problem, then it may be bad, especially if it compounds.
     
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  8. Tulip

    Tulip Community Member

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    Jealousy is a hurtful feeling and causes pain to the person who experiences it.

    :rain:
     
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  9. OP
    yukon1

    yukon1 Newbie

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    it certainly can be a stressor in a relationship both to the jealous party and their partner
     
  10. Tulip

    Tulip Community Member

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    If the partner handles it well, it can deepen the understanding between the two and bring them closer together.

    :m093:
     
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    #10 Tulip, Jul 27, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2010
  11. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    Oh definitely! A mismatch in expectations of what is proper in a relationship causes a lot of problems. Jealousy in that case is often a culmination of unfairness, bitterness, betrayal, degradation, and possibly a sense of unrequited love. So Jealousy in that instance is just a suitcase term for a whole gamut of emotions related to a fundamental difference in expectations.

    If the person just happened to be weak and gave in to some urge, then that complicates things even further.

    One of the most common scenarios for jealousy in a relationship is one partner talking to members of the other sex. This can be seen as a trust issue, but there is a lot more to it. It is easy to run to someone else when things aren't going the best, and I think everyone is aware of that. So the perceived strength of someone's character plays a big part in that.

    Sexual tension does exist, it is natural to have romantic thoughts of other people, it is just how we work. The thoughts we have no control over, but our actions we do. If one partner doesn't believe the other has sufficient willpower to resist an urge as strong as a helping hand (and perhaps a bit more) in a time of need, then you might call that jealousy.

    But moreover, there is probably something at fault much deeper in the above example. If neither party is willing to help the other grow or if it is one sided, if they don't pitch in to help each other to advance their own image of themselves, or if one wishes to degrade the other, then there is nothing but fault destined in that relationship's future. To be strong, to have willpower, and to persevere, one must first have a strong belief in their own ability, not pride, not ego, not hubris, just a healthy image. After that all else follows.

    The line between a healthy self-image and an unhealthy inflated ego is very fine. During conflict, the urge to rationalize and justify all kinds of actions is strong; the ability to resist is something only patience, dedication, competence, and experience can build.
     
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  12. MrPeters

    MrPeters Newbie

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    I have a hard time accepting the feeling jelalousy. When someone close to me express it i can get really angry inside. What makes me angry is when the person expressing it is ungreatful to what he or she has or when he or she cant indulge the other person to have it good (when they express that it isnt fair or something like that).
     
  13. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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  14. MrPeters

    MrPeters Newbie

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    Oh, 50% of the INFJs that voted in that poll say they are more jealous than other types.

    Statistics speak, I will become a hater of my own kind.:m144:
     
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