Is it possible to mistype as INFJ instead of INTJ?

[bodhireagan]

In the recent months I have spent a lot of time examining myself and my life and how I view the world and how I function within it. I have found that I stick to logic more than anything else, especially in emotionally charged situations.

So INTJs typically consider Logic first, people second; while INFJs tend to consider people first, Logic second.

This was what got me thinking.

To be blunt and skip all the long explanations:
Is it possible that I could be mistyping myself as an INFJ instead of an INTJ? Possibly because I have to use empathy to be able to relate to others? Growing up I could never actually "relate" to someone's feelings directly (I still cannot now either), I always had to empathize with them and now have an over-developed ability to empathize. The only way I "feel" emotions with others is through empathy. I cannot understand those who make illogical and irrational decisions.
There has always been something that seemed a little off about me being an INFJ - mainly that I didn't understand how I could be one given the way I experience my own feelings and how I have no understanding of others' feelings unless I empathize with them. And that I always find myself rooted in logic more than emotion or feeling.

This may seem unimportant, but this is 100% me and I can find a multitude of similar aspects of INTJs that I can relate to, but very few descriptions like this that are about INFJs that I can say "yes this is me":

They especially love to predict how long something is going to take, and their wristwatch is probably among their prize possessions. They collect trivial facts constantly, and can probably tell you all the contents of their medicine cabinet -- including the proper names for all their pharmaceuticals.

I have always seem my life as a game of chess, including the relationships I have with others. I often find myself viewing other people as pawns and asking myself "what can I gain from them?" and if the answer is nothing - I stop developing a relationship with them. I often find myself looking to make acquaintances with people that could offer me something - whether it is their expertise, their knowledge on a subject I am not familiar with, or their tangible possessions.

Last question: my father is an INTJ, and we are very, very similar. We normally spend our evenings sharing trivia facts and random tidbits of information we think the other might find relevant. We make a very good team and can normally outsmart / out-think anyone we come into contact with. Should I give any meaning to this when I am attempting to type myself correctly?

 

[Bird]

I have always seem my life as a game of chess, including the relationships I have with others. I often find myself viewing other people as pawns and asking myself "what can I gain from them?" and if the answer is nothing - I stop developing a relationship with them. I often find myself looking to make acquaintances with people that could offer me something - whether it is their expertise, their knowledge on a subject I am not familiar with, or their tangible possessions.

Based on what you have said here it seems to me that you are likely an INTJ.

The auxiliary function for INTJs is Te. In essence what you are doing when you meet
new people is you are evaluating their use to you and then filing them into the appropriate
categories (in your case worthy and unworthy). This behaviour aligns well with Te. This is
not something that the typical INFJ does. We tend to consider other people as they are
without considering their use to us and moving from there, which is one of the most
predominant differences between INTJs and INFJs; their differing auxiliary functions.

Is this making sense to you?

Also I am confused as to why you are using empathy and relating to others as two
different things/emotions. To me they are synonyms. You have to use empathy to
relate to others and understand.

Perhaps what you are trying to get across is that you have to try to feel empathy
and you do not feel it innately.

As far as comparing yourself to your father when you are sharing trivia, etc... are
you doing this because you enjoy it or because this is a learned behaviour and you
do it because it is part of your routine?

 

[Eventhorizon]

When I first took the test I was shown as infj...which is how I found myself here. Sine then the majority of tests label me as intj. All of these tests were free and I found them online. So if it is something that you still question, consider taking a test that is more comprehensive much like some companies have their employees take. That or you could talk to an actual analyst. For myself, I feel that almost all intj descriptions I relate to while infj seems further away from the norm for me. If you feel that intj descriptions fit you better than others, I suggest it is a good fit.

 

[Bird]

While Eventhorizin offers good advice by suggesting you take some more tests,
I think it is more important to have an understanding of what the cognitive functions
are, how they work together, and which functions you utilize in order to conclude
your type. The tests supposedly do this for you, but they can be incredibly vague
or questions you do not relate to or overanalyze and that can easily skew your
results.

If you haven't already and if determining your type is important to you, I definitely
suggest taking the time to read up on cognitive functions and learn your type
via those means rather than just online tests. Take a couple of tests as well
just to see if your result changes from INFJ to INTj but the important thing when
determining one's type is their cognitive function usage.

 

[bodhireagan]

Is this making sense to you?

Yes. It made a lot of sense and was right in line with what I have read and learned.

Also I am confused as to why you are using empathy and relating to others as two
different things/emotions. To me they are synonyms. You have to use empathy to
relate to others and understand.
Perhaps what you are trying to get across is that you have to try to feel empathy
and you do not feel it innately.

Yes. That is what I was trying to say - wow really spot on. sorry my head is a mess right now. The reason why I differentiate the two is that I won't feel the need to empathize with someone unless I tell myself "you should try and relate to what they are feeling". I still don't really know how to explain it. Like if someone is having a rough day because of a nasty argument at home the night before, I can understand that because I know what that feels like, and therefore I can relate to it. But if someone is having a rough day because one of their parents is very ill and in the hospital, I do not understand that feeling because I have never experienced it, so if I don't try to feel empathy for them, I will feel nothing for them. And to be clear it isn't because I don't care. I guess this is a more logical form of emotion (if that makes sense) - "I have experienced this myself, therefore I know what it is they are going through", and that is what I differentiated between empathizing and being able to relate to someone. One is logical(able to relate b/c of my own experiences) and the other is emotional (empathy).
Not sure if any of that even makes sense.

As far as comparing yourself to your father when you are sharing trivia, etc... are
you doing this because you enjoy it or because this is a learned behavior and you
do it because it is part of your routine?

I thoroughly enjoy it. It is definitely not a learned behavior, I actually resented my dad growing up because of his insane ability for trivia and how he always knew the answer to everything. Within the last year I found myself doing the same thing with my friends and co-workers, and then I found myself going "if I do this everywhere else, why not do it at home?" and so I started and was surprised because it has actually helped form a better bond between us. It is definitely part of who I am and how I interact with people, and not a routine or learned behavior.

 

[Eventhorizon]

While Eventhorizin offers good advice by suggesting you take some more tests,
I think it is more important to have an understanding of what the cognitive functions
are, how they work together, and which functions you utilize in order to conclude
your type. The tests supposedly do this for you, but they can be incredibly vague
or questions you do not relate to or overanalyze and that can easily skew your
results.

If you haven't already and if determining your type is important to you, I definitely
suggest taking the time to read up on cognitive functions and learn your type
via those means rather than just online tests. Take a couple of tests as well
just to see if your result changes from INFJ to INTj but the important thing when
determining one's type is their cognitive function usage.

Nice way of saying I dont know what I am talking about. Which in this instance is true.
As with all things the more info you have the better.

 

[Bird]

Nice way of saying I dont know what I am talking about. Which in this instance is true.
As with all things the more info you have the better.

I wasnt saying that (; but rather you cannot end your research about yourself on a test
no matter the amount you have taken.

 

[Trifoilum]

Empathy can be done with Fi, and I HAVE TO SAY yours seemed like a Fi-based empathy.

mainly that I didn't understand how I could be one given the way I experience my own feelings and how I have no understanding of others' feelings unless I empathize with them.

a.k.a 'I can only empathize with something I have experienced / felt myself.'
I think that is Fi-- something intense and personal, compared to Fe's empathy which is more widespread and general.

But I may be wrong, and I certainly know little about your brain >_<

I need to ask though, what parts of INFJ you feel suitable / so 'you'?

 

[Erlian]

I thought I mistyped the other way around, but decided I was right at first.

Reading and testing on the cognitive functions I found that my Fe is very high. For the rest I'm a lot more like the INTJ. So now I'm just an INTJ with high Fe.

 

[bodhireagan]

Empathy can be done with Fi, and I HAVE TO SAY yours seemed like a Fi-based empathy.

a.k.a 'I can only empathize with something I have experienced / felt myself.'
I think that is Fi-- something intense and personal, compared to Fe's empathy which is more widespread and general.

But I may be wrong, and I certainly know little about your brain >_<

I need to ask though, what parts of INFJ you feel suitable / so 'you'?

The more I read in depth about Te vs. Ti and Fe vs. Fi, the more I grow confused. I definitely have both my Fe and Fi highly developed, as I am able to use both in their own capacity given a situation that calls for one vs the other. Sympathy comes naturally, as does empathy. I read others' feelings by internalizing them and putting myself in their shoes and asking "what would I feel if I was going through this" while I am also able to at the same time sense the emotions coming from people externally.
I also have a well developed Ti and Te. I can perform as an "architect" (using Ti) and also can be the mastermind (using Te). I see the grand picture of life and how all the pieces move and interact, but I don't see people as pawns in life (unless I am in a defensive / protective state, where I can become very selfish) but rather as individuals who need to be treated each in their own way.
I think this might make sense: I have all the capability and understanding of a mastermind, but I also have the compassion and desire to connect and nurture others, like a counselor or protector. I use them equally and I don't see one or the other being more dominant.

To your actual question of what makes me an INFJ:
I see myself as an "old soul". It became apparent when I was still very young- say maybe 13 or 14. I have always been complimented by those who get close to me on the amount of wisdom and awareness I possessed, especially given how young I was. I often surprise people with the amount / level of insight and perspective I can bring. Also, a point to consider here is that I definitely qualified as an indigo child when I was younger. Possibly an indigo adult now.
I am a natural counselor / adviser for friends and family. I have had others coming to me for help for most of my life. Granted this sometimes turns into an unhealthy situation for me.
I see through people's external shell very easily. I know what someone is on the outside and who they are on the inside. Usually this ends up with me having a greater understanding of someone than they have of themselves (which is problematic generally).
I see others' motives plain as day, even if they are well hidden.
I am a very capable person in social situations, able to mesh and communicate with anyone (in a sense I am very adaptable and almost chameleon-like, but not in a sociopathic way haha), which is also a confusing factor for me. I also enjoy most social interactions, but I always need some time afterwards to recuperate.
I care about others feelings greatly and am aware of how my actions can cause pain. I really lack the selfish nature that most people associate with INTJs. But there are times when I become selfish for the purpose of defending myself or protecting myself, and I am very successful when I do so.

On the other hand, here is how I see myself as an INTJ:
I love patterns, puzzles, paradoxes, and problem solving. I love being given a problem and having to solve it and i employ alternative / outside the box methods to work through them
I am very logical and rational, often times I am struck with the contradiction of what makes sense logically vs. what I am feeling
I understand the world as a chess board and see the moves needed to navigate through it. But I don't necessarily live my own life this way
I have a rabid hunger for knowledge and understanding
I am a very blunt person - often times my attempts to be caring and compassionate are nixed by my inability to not be so blunt


I realize that some of the things listed may qualify as both INFJ and INTJ characteristics.
I hope this helps and answers your question

edit: I don't know if this is relevant or falls into one or the other, but I am very sentimental. I am also very emotional, in a sense of simple things can produce intense emotional reactions.

 

[ThomasJ79]

What I have found with typology is that stereotypes are often overdone to drawn sharp distinctions between the 16 types. In reality people are mostly one type, but may "blend in" with traits with other personalities. As INTJs have Te/Fi, these functions serve the same general psychological needs as Fe/Ti, with slightly different orientations. Sharing a dominant Ni function, these types should in theory be VERY similar.

One has to ask themselves, why does an INTJ have Fi as opposed to Fe? It's not like they can't use it, but what is most distinct between an INTJ and INFJ is that an INTJ can almost never let something he knows to be factually incorrect go unaddressed. That is, they value the facts more than how those facts are going to make someone feel. Obviously INTJs have empathy and compassion, it's just something they aren't likely to display except to a few trusted people. They are Fi uses because they aren't Fe users.

I would ask myself this question if I were you. What would you say if someone in a group you hang out with, whether it be friends or family, told you that the earth is only 10,000 years old? How would you respond to that? Would you risk debating with them, would it cause you to be very uncomfortable, or would you not like ruffle any feathers? Now I'm not saying that INFJs wouldn't be bothered by someone saying something factually incorrect. What I am saying is that an INTJ would be deeply troubled if someone were to challenge prevailing scientific understandings of the natural world, especially if that person were trying to influence the group with their misinformation. Please keep in mind that depending on the relations, an INTJ may chose not to ruffle any feathers, figuring that it is just not worth the effort.

Typology can be a wonderful tool as long as the lines are allowed to be blurred, allowed to not be so black and white. Black and white typology can be a nightmare and oppressive.

 

[Trifoilum]

The more I read in depth about Te vs. Ti and Fe vs. Fi, the more I grow confused. I definitely have both my Fe and Fi highly developed, as I am able to use both in their own capacity given a situation that calls for one vs the other. Sympathy comes naturally, as does empathy. I read others' feelings by internalizing them and putting myself in their shoes and asking "what would I feel if I was going through this" while I am also able to at the same time sense the emotions coming from people externally.
I also have a well developed Ti and Te. I can perform as an "architect" (using Ti) and also can be the mastermind (using Te). I see the grand picture of life and how all the pieces move and interact, but I don't see people as pawns in life (unless I am in a defensive / protective state, where I can become very selfish) but rather as individuals who need to be treated each in their own way.
I think this might make sense: I have all the capability and understanding of a mastermind, but I also have the compassion and desire to connect and nurture others, like a counselor or protector. I use them equally and I don't see one or the other being more dominant.

If you consider yourself as more developed or at least mature enough, there is also going to be a chance for two pairs of function to mimic the other.
For instance, Fe and Ti can very well resembled Fi (by absorbing the emotions and value of others and filtering it through your own principle, you may end up having a personal principle that felt YOU). and Te (By using your own logical principle and expressing it through ways that were acceptable by others)

And vice versa.
Not saying you're that but....there's also that possibility.
You don't need to be a Fe user to see how people interact with each other and observe the patterns recurring through that, and manipulate them to your bidding.

To your actual question of what makes me an INFJ:
I see myself as an "old soul". It became apparent when I was still very young- say maybe 13 or 14. I have always been complimented by those who get close to me on the amount of wisdom and awareness I possessed, especially given how young I was. I often surprise people with the amount / level of insight and perspective I can bring. Also, a point to consider here is that I definitely qualified as an indigo child when I was younger. Possibly an indigo adult now.
I am a natural counselor / adviser for friends and family. I have had others coming to me for help for most of my life. Granted this sometimes turns into an unhealthy situation for me.
I see through people's external shell very easily. I know what someone is on the outside and who they are on the inside. Usually this ends up with me having a greater understanding of someone than they have of themselves (which is problematic generally).
I see others' motives plain as day, even if they are well hidden.
I am a very capable person in social situations, able to mesh and communicate with anyone (in a sense I am very adaptable and almost chameleon-like, but not in a sociopathic way haha), which is also a confusing factor for me. I also enjoy most social interactions, but I always need some time afterwards to recuperate.

CMIIW; I think a lot of these are Ni-related, not necessarily Fe or Te related.
Of course, INFJs in particular are shoehorned through the role of healer, counselor, sage-- in that case I think the question becomes, how do you see things / other people's problems?

I care about others feelings greatly and am aware of how my actions can cause pain. I really lack the selfish nature that most people associate with INTJs. But there are times when I become selfish for the purpose of defending myself or protecting myself, and I am very successful when I do so.

This too, seems like a Se inferior more than everything else-- and both Fi and Fe can be affectionate and caring-- but the nuance is indeed, different.

On the other hand, here is how I see myself as an INTJ:
I love patterns, puzzles, paradoxes, and problem solving. I love being given a problem and having to solve it and i employ alternative / outside the box methods to work through them
I am very logical and rational, often times I am struck with the contradiction of what makes sense logically vs. what I am feeling
I understand the world as a chess board and see the moves needed to navigate through it. But I don't necessarily live my own life this way
I have a rabid hunger for knowledge and understanding
I am a very blunt person - often times my attempts to be caring and compassionate are nixed by my inability to not be so blunt

Simultaneously, I think this is not a quality possessed by Te users only.

I realize that some of the things listed may qualify as both INFJ and INTJ characteristics.
I hope this helps and answers your question

edit: I don't know if this is relevant or falls into one or the other, but I am very sentimental. I am also very emotional, in a sense of simple things can produce intense emotional reactions.

So indeed, indeed, what a confusing thing.. *hmm*

 

[Faye]

I struggled at first to determine whether I was INFJ or INTJ, so I might have some insight. You need to rely on the functions since actually INFJ and INTJ are quite different when it comes to the secondary and tertiary functions. Both use Ni as their main and Se as their auxiliary, but INFJs are Fe Ti whereas INTJs are Te Fi.


I'll try to simplify them:

Fi is knowing what you want and coming to an understanding of your tastes and preferences alone. INTJs are usually good at knowing what they want and like. INFJs, on the other hand, tend to be terrible at knowing what they want and like because they usually have poorly developed Fi.

Fe is concerned with the feelings permeating the external environment. It is all about connecting or disconnecting with others. To put it bluntly, INFJs tend to care about social niceties and what people think whereas INTJs tend to not care as much. INFJs typically have no problem reading other people whereas INTJs are forever struggling to make sense of others. Both types can be equally empathetic because empathy is unrelated to type (all humans are capable of it), but INFJs will probably act it out more often. If INFJs ran the world, the government would probably be socialist welfare common-good oriented. If INTJs ran the world, the government would probably be libertarian. And that is why neither type will ever run the world.

The difference between Te and Ti is a bitch. Both are logical. Te is more empirical, quantifying, etc.. INTJs tend to be given to science more often. Ti is more about judging the consistency of ideas. It helps in writing. Te organizes the external world (charts, graphs, systems), and Ti organizes the internal world (categories, essential characteristics).

If you actually do have well developed Te, Ti, Fe, and Fi, then it might be very difficult to figure out what you are. The bit about knowing trivia makes me think you're INTJ, but that is a small thing. There is more to consider.

 

[bodhireagan]

I struggled at first to determine whether I was INFJ or INTJ, so I might have some insight. You need to rely on the functions since actually INFJ and INTJ are quite different when it comes to the secondary and tertiary functions. Both use Ni as their main and Se as their auxiliary, but INFJs are Fe Ti whereas INTJs are Te Fi.


I'll try to simplify them:

Fi is knowing what you want and coming to an understanding of your tastes and preferences alone. INTJs are usually good at knowing what they want and like. INFJs, on the other hand, tend to be terrible at knowing what they want and like because they usually have poorly developed Fi.

Fe is concerned with the feelings permeating the external environment. It is all about connecting or disconnecting with others. To put it bluntly, INFJs tend to care about social niceties and what people think whereas INTJs tend to not care as much. INFJs typically have no problem reading other people whereas INTJs are forever struggling to make sense of others. Both types can be equally empathetic because empathy is unrelated to type (all humans are capable of it), but INFJs will probably act it out more often. If INFJs ran the world, the government would probably be socialist welfare common-good oriented. If INTJs ran the world, the government would probably be libertarian. And that is why neither type will ever run the world.

The difference between Te and Ti is a bitch. Both are logical. Te is more empirical, quantifying, etc.. INTJs tend to be given to science more often. Ti is more about judging the consistency of ideas. It helps in writing. Te organizes the external world (charts, graphs, systems), and Ti organizes the internal world (categories, essential characteristics).

If you actually do have well developed Te, Ti, Fe, and Fi, then it might be very difficult to figure out what you are. The bit about knowing trivia makes me think you're INTJ, but that is a small thing. There is more to consider.

Thank you for your insight! Yeah I am fairly confident (in a non-cocky manner) that I have all four functions well developed. When you are talking about Fi and knowing what you want and understanding yourself, that is something I am very good at. Rarely do I ever find myself asking what it is I want in a situation or having trouble understanding myself. Now about Fe, I do not really care to "fit in" or try to please others, however I pride myself on respecting others no matter who they are. I do not care what others think about me in a sense of I am self-sufficient and not requiring external validation to feel okay with myself. Someone can think I am the biggest asshat around and that won't hurt my ability to interact with them - I understand and appreciate that I have no control over what others feel and I have no place trying to change them.
I am very good at reading people. The only issue I ever run into is when discerning attraction / feelings toward myself from others. I am aware of my own feelings and if I am attracted but I struggle with knowing about the other person if it isn't made clear. And it isn't that I can't read them, I simply can't make sense of it. So I see that they are being flirtatious, I recognize them going out of their way to be around me and have physical contact with me, but when it comes to being able to say "yes this is because they are attracted to me" versus "this is simply who they are", that is the only time I falter. But I feel like that isn't as much indicative of type as my understanding of social and personal relationships with people my age. Then again I don't know many people who understand 20 year olds that well
I am very much into computers and am very, very good at working with them and highly knowledgeable. I am definitely a geek/nerd if you bring up computers or electronics (however you would never know that if you don't ask me / bring it up). I am also naturally good with working with my hands and fixing something, problem solving, and I have creativity that is off the charts. Logic fascinates me. Math and science are also two things I am interested in. I am very good at working with data, and can find patterns and problems that are hidden amongst massive amounts of data.
At the same time, I also love philosophy and psychology. I love the unknown, theoreticals, hypotheticals, and abstract thinking. Which is very different from science due to it's nature of not being able to actually prove anything.
I do write a lot though! I write poetry, spoken word, short essays, short stories. I also throw my hand in some logic/reason works of my own.
Honestly from your response and the one from [MENTION=2172]Trifoilum[/MENTION] I think that my attempts to figure out which I am may never result in an exact answer.

 

[paisley1]

T I think that my attempts to figure out which I am may never result in an exact answer.

I agree with Bird, I too think you are an INTJ, and I don't think you can mistype an INFJ with an INTJ, and I don't think anyone has well developed functions beyond their 3rd, as everything is a slave to your first 2.

The function stacks are:

INFJ: IN, EF, IT, ES Introverted Intuition of peoples feelings by way of introverted logic and a little extroverted sense.
INTJ: IN, ET, IF, ES Introverted intuition of extroverted logic by way of hidden feelings with a little extroverted sense.

I don't think any INFJ would ever consider themself having strong ET or IF, and would have a really strong problem being called an INTJ. ET is such hard closed grounded logic based on what's already known, whereas IT is such open logic based on personal experience that you'll notice the difference in personality because of that one function alone. EF and IF are different beasts as well, one looks outward and the other looks inward. In experience these two are very different people altogether. Commonality stays within the temperment, not outside of it.

INFJ's are idealists and INTJ's are rationals; totally different temperments. INFJ's and INTJ's act so differently, that you can tell almost instantly in the tone of the conversation, one is open to hearing about the heart of the other person whereas the other is about information gathering.

Check out the following descriptions:
http://www.typelogic.com/infj.html
http://www.typelogic.com/intj.html

INFJ's are so idealistic that their entire thought life is governed by those ideals; words and phrases like subjective, feeler, sensitive, show off, performer, playful, indecisive, self loathing, thin skinned, "Somethings rotten in Denmark", "mistaken for extroverts", burdened, personable, "talks about feelings", loving, cause oriented, "head in the clouds", moody, foreknowledge, prophet, and sage; all reflect INFJ's. Everything is processed through the lens of their subjective personal idealistic value system.

INTJ's are so rational that their entire thought life is governed by order: words and phrases like objective, mastermind, perfectionist, utilitarian, decisive, system builder, analytical, structured, attentive, self-confident, thick-skinned, impersonal, strategic, "takes criticism well", "dislikes communicating feelings", insensitive, programmer, and honors commitments; all reflect INTJ's. Everything is processed through the lens of their grounded rational order system.

INTJ's will look a lot like INFJ's on paper, reaching similar intuitive heights, but as far as normative behavior you'll rarely see INTJ's act silly, playful, outlandish, fun, or call them extroverted, like an INFJ, because you'll notice their utility in logic.

Extroverted Feeling is so all consuming to the INFJ's Introverted intuition, that they really can't turn their brains off to the feelings around them, that when overwhelmed and burdened the best they can do is try to not empathize, so they can get some rest. INTJ's will not feel an overwhelming burden to that extent, in fact, INTJ's, like you've already said earlier, have to use a previous experience to empathize whereas INFJ's don't, but INTJ's will feel an overwhelming burden towards the violation of a system itself, (note the emphasis on utility) more so than the person, as IN ET is pragmatic and utilitarian in it's approach to systematizing everything, including people, that's why INTJ's have a reputation for being assholes.

Perhaps the following test will help:
http://www.celebritytypes.com/test/infj-or-intj.php

 

[bodhireagan]

[MENTION=8120]paisley1[/MENTION]I completed the test from the link you provided, here are the results:

Your result is: INFJ



I believe my issues with empathy stem from childhood issues that ran until I was about 19. My home life was always very far away from the norm. I grew up in a house where "feelings" were not meant to be expressed and in order to be "strong" I could not show my feelings. So I might blame my dependency on empathy on the lack of proper emotional development growing up. I have fixed all that though in recent years.

Also there is one thing I did not realize until very recently. When I made the original post and all subsequent posts up until two days ago, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly put down and made to feel like shit. Now as I have finally gotten out of that and watched my life, my mood, and my relationships with everyone else drastically improve, I disagree with a lot of the things I said before about empathy.
I have been in a defensive mode for the last two or three months because of this relationship and I did not really realize the impact it had on my thinking and other aspects of life until I had gotten out of it.
I am confident that I am an INFJ. However when I fall back into a defensive / protective state I restrict my desire to empathize and willingness to connect with others and become overly rational/analytical/logical compared to my normal state.
In my every day interactions, my playfulness, humor, and silliness has already returned. I also have become a lot more social and upbeat (I could easily be confused with an extrovert on most days, which has happened many times before).
So I thank you to everyone who has contributed in this thread. You have all been so helpful and I have learned a lot, both knowledge-wise and about myself. Thanks to [MENTION=834]Dragon[/MENTION], [MENTION=2172]Trifoilum[/MENTION], [MENTION=6303]Jimmers[/MENTION], [MENTION=2926]Bird[/MENTION], and [MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION]. Sorry if I forgot anyone else.

 

[paisley1]

[MENTION=8120]paisley1[/MENTION]I completed the test from the link you provided, here are the results:

Your result is: INFJ
View attachment 22155


I believe my issues with empathy stem from childhood issues that ran until I was about 19. My home life was always very far away from the norm. I grew up in a house where "feelings" were not meant to be expressed and in order to be "strong" I could not show my feelings. So I might blame my dependency on empathy on the lack of proper emotional development growing up. I have fixed all that though in recent years.

Also there is one thing I did not realize until very recently. When I made the original post and all subsequent posts up until two days ago, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly put down and made to feel like shit. Now as I have finally gotten out of that and watched my life, my mood, and my relationships with everyone else drastically improve, I disagree with a lot of the things I said before about empathy.
I have been in a defensive mode for the last two or three months because of this relationship and I did not really realize the impact it had on my thinking and other aspects of life until I had gotten out of it.
I am confident that I am an INFJ. However when I fall back into a defensive / protective state I restrict my desire to empathize and willingness to connect with others and become overly rational/analytical/logical compared to my normal state.
In my every day interactions, my playfulness, humor, and silliness has already returned. I also have become a lot more social and upbeat (I could easily be confused with an extrovert on most days, which has happened many times before).
So I thank you to everyone who has contributed in this thread. You have all been so helpful and I have learned a lot, both knowledge-wise and about myself. Thanks to [MENTION=834]Dragon[/MENTION], [MENTION=2172]Trifoilum[/MENTION], [MENTION=6303]Jimmers[/MENTION], [MENTION=2926]Bird[/MENTION], and [MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION]. Sorry if I forgot anyone else.

Ah, well I'm glad to hear you are on the mend and doing better, and likewise I empathize, there's nothing worse than being in a bad relationship. "Better to live in an attic, than in a house with a quarrelsome wife" as the Proverb goes; I'd rather be in jail. What happens for most unbalanced INFJ's like myself, is that we become the worst version of our opposite, ESTP, in how we act out, which is a form of NI that's abandoned EF, which likes to fixate and nitpick and nothing makes sense because we really aren't thinking straight and need a ton of time to settle down before we can do anything. Been there.

You are absolutely welcome for any encouragement I could give. Hopefully I was of some help.

Take luck.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Interesting that its being implied that when you were "distressed" you were more intj and that when you were "healed" you are infj.
My understanding is that Jung taught you should work on your inferior functions.

 

[paisley1]

Interesting that its being implied that when you were "distressed" you were more intj and that when you were "healed" you are infj.
My understanding is that Jung taught you should work on your inferior functions.

Good point, it's incorrect to suggest that an unhealthy INFJ acts like a form of INTJ. As I mentioned, INFJ's often resemble their idea of an ESTP (our opposite) in how we act out when we're unhealthy, that said, when both INFJ's and INTJ's are unhealthy they are overusing NI which if left untreated with either EF or ET, they become crazy psychopaths.