Is being loyal always a good thing? | INFJ Forum

Is being loyal always a good thing?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Apr 30, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Loyalty is one of those words you hear often, and is mostly described as a good quality or trait.

    So,

    1. What is loyalty in your own words?
    2. What are the pros or positive results of being loyal or being considered loyal?
    3. What are the cons of being too loyal - when and in what situations is it not such a good thing?
     
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  2. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    What is loyalty in your own words?
    It is interchangeable with "reliable", in reference to the good will, kindliness, or willingness to help of one person to another.

    What are the pros or positive results of being loyal or being considered loyal?
    1. (Feeling) It cultivates a sense of security, comfort and ease in the other.
    2. (Thinking) It cultivates loyalty in the other.

    What are the cons of being too loyal - when and in what situations is it not such a good thing?
    1. (Feeling) When it promotes presumption, arrogance, or callousness in another.
    2. (Thinking) Loyalty is unreasonable when it is not reciprocated to a similar degree in which it is given.
     
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  3. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I guess if someone is going to invest their loyalty, they'd better make darn sure it is worthy of such a thing. Much is not...some things are.
     
  4. wonderer12

    wonderer12 Newbie

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    According to me, a loyal person will try his/her best to ensure the well being of his/her loved one(s). It's a consideration thing. The reason I feel this definition is valid is because it provides for some much-needed wiggle room-- abiding my someone's wishes (which seems to be the universal perceived criteria for loyalty) is NOT always the same as acting in that person's best interest. And is it really loyalty if you're not?

    Being considered loyal means people trust you. It's exceedingly important to be trusted by the people you have in-depth, one-on-one relationships with, because trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

    I think I pretty much addressed the third question in my first paragraph.
     
  5. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    certainly not, blind loyalty is as bad as a complete lack of loyalty. i think it's important to assess every now and then whether what or who you're being loyal to is worth it.
     
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  6. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    To me, loyalty is deciding that someone or something is a priority and/or is important, and being committed to that person/event/idea/etc. It means offering support to said person or thing and oftentimes, being present. It's a way of saying "you matter/this matters".

    Some thoughts:

    Pros
    - it strengthens relationships
    - it's likely to be reciprocated
    - it rewards the giver by having something to value and be loyal to
    - it may mean being engaged (ex. with a cause, team, value), on some level, and engagement can lead to further opportunity and growth

    Cons
    - loyal people and their loyalty may be taken for granted
    - the more invested you are in a person/project/idea, the harder it can be to back out, if that times comes

    And I agree with what May said.
     
    #6 Soulful, May 1, 2010
    Last edited: May 1, 2010
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  7. the

    the Si master race.
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    I think it depends on what your values are and what is required of you from the person(s) you are being loyal too. For instance a person who does not value suicide would experience cognitive dissonance when required to fly a kamakaze mission, for example.
     
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  8. Poetic Justice

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    Be loyal to ideas, not people

    I may trust somebody and give them my support. If I then realise that the person is really a total douchebag I may retract that support.

    Some people may call this disloyal but that couldn't be further from the truth.

    I pledge allegiance to morals, not douchebags.
     
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    #8 Poetic Justice, Oct 13, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2015
  9. camomile

    camomile Regular Poster

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    I had to look up the functions. You're older than me and by your 2000 and up posts you're probably more clued in to it's dynamics. How do you interpret your Fe?
     
  10. Poetic Justice

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    I am in no way an expert on MBTI. I post here not out of an interest in MBTI specifically, but out of an interest in philosophical and scientific issues in general. Oh and lets not forget the humour.

    I'm actually not sure how to answer your question other than with this...

    When others hurt, I hurt. I want to take their pain away and make them better. Loyalty to people is often a barrier to this as you have to side with people even when you know they're wrong. Many people with poor social skills are made to feel like they are constantly in the wrong when really all that is happening is they haven't built up the relationships needed for people to agree with them

    People side with people who make them feel good, not people who are actually right
     
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  11. camomile

    camomile Regular Poster

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    My idea of loyalty is sticking with people even when you know they're wrong and better loyalty is telling them so. *edit* Naive sometimes probably.
     
    #11 camomile, Oct 13, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2015
  12. Loyalty is knowing that I have complete assurance that you are for me, not against me and is unwavering (perhaps a slight flutter) even when you have the courage to tell me when I'm wrong.

    Blinkered loyalty is ugly - it shuts down authentic communication, breeds all kinds of dysfunctional behaviours, pollutes the atmosphere and relationships.
     
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