[Important] INFP and verbal affection

[Morgain]

Is it normal for an INFP to feel weird or out of character when they are having to make compliments or try to show a more verbal affection such as "your so sweet" or when their partner wants to fantasies about sex verbaly.


when they ask why I like them, puting it into words makes me feel really awkward and a tad bit uncomfortable. Words are in my opinion not a good way of expressing what I feel, they are way to rough and unfit to express something so complex as my feelings. I like to express how I feel more physicaly, with body language.

 

[Altruistic Muse]

My infp is the same. He tries hard to but it doesn't come naturally, and articulating takes him ages. It doesn't bother me much, I see it as genuine. And I find it far preferable to speaking cheesy cliches. He cones out with quirky things he likes about me, like the way my lips curl when I stop smiling?! Hehe, I think that's a very cute way of showing affection.

 

[Reon]

Is it normal for an INFP to feel weird or out of character when they are having to make compliments or try to show a more verbal affection such as "your so sweet" or when their partner wants to fantasies about sex verbaly.


when they ask why I like them, puting it into words makes me feel really awkward and a tad bit uncomfortable. Words are in my opinion not a good way of expressing what I feel, they are way to rough and unfit to express something so complex as my feelings. I like to express how I feel more physicaly, with body language.

I think it's a Fi thing. I dislike feeling forced to verbalize compliments and, I must admit, at times it does feel awkward for me to make compliments in general. Verbalizing an emotion takes away from the emotion itself. Some people though, do enjoy compliment and as such, Fi will try to compensate I suppose/suspect. Most INFPs and INTJs I know are like this.

 

[AhSver]

Hm , hm . I think it comes with practice . I never had problems with giving compliments verbally, I never did that often, only when I truly felt that way, which made them come out, hopefully, not too cheesy and appear more substantial . I would rather express compliments or kindness / positive emotions through writing . . Or as [MENTION=1591]Morgain[/MENTION] noted above through body language ^.^ Such approach seems to always convey the info right . Better than words . But there`s not always a luxury to have someone close enough for an appropriate body language expression .

 

[Ria]

My ex who was Fi dominant used to feel the same way about verbal expression. I often found it unbalanced, because I was Very verbally expressive and craved his words of affirmation. The way I see it, is it's definitely worth the effort to push your own comfort levels with Love Languages in order to nourish your relationships! It's very gratifying seeing the pleasure and overall soothing effects for your partner when you have helped them feel more secure in some way.

 

[under skies]

I'm incredibly awkward articulating my feelings for others. I think you hit the head on the nail with "Words are [...] not a good way of expressing what I feel." There are too many ways to interpret words, and there are too many connotations built in. I often feel that there's nothing just right, that sounds like me, and that doesn't seem cheap or trite, so whatever I say often feels unnatural. (I also like what [MENTION=362]Reon[/MENTION]: said--"Verbalizing an emotion takes away from the emotion itself.")

I'm not great at giving compliments, either.

I think I just take it all too seriously. I'm much better at demonstrating my feelings. With me, it's especially true that actions speak louder than words.

 

[Radiantshadow]

INFJ, but same thing.
Something I've noticed in INFP friends is emotions need little validation - they just are and that's that.
One of them told me verbally expressing affection is like "rubbing gold dust off a beautiful statue".

In myself, I prefer physical/written expression because they are more pure to me, more heartfelt.

My .02, though it's already been said

 

[aeon]

Is it normal for an INFP to feel weird or out of character when they are having to make compliments or try to show a more verbal affection such as "your so sweet" or when their partner wants to fantasies about sex verbaly.

 

[MelodyS90]

I am also one of those who doesn't usually compliment. But when I do, it's very sincere... and it's usually something like what Altruistic Muse said. Something other people don't normally comment on or maybe don't even notice... but honestly I love it.