INFJs - Dating vs. Long Term/Marriage . . . ? | INFJ Forum

INFJs - Dating vs. Long Term/Marriage . . . ?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 15, 2009.

Share This Page

More threads by Gaze
  1. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,757
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    So, a number of INFJs on the forum talk about dating other types and a few mention experiences in long term relationships or marriage, but what is the difference in your experience?

    In other words, what is the difference between dating an INFJ and being in a long term relationship with them or marrying one?

    Or vice versa - INFJs, how are you when dating vs. long term relationships or marriage?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 Gaze, Sep 15, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2009
  2. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2009
    Threads:
    30
    Messages:
    2,107
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    Aren't dating and long term relationship synonymous in an INFJ's book?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Jouska likes this.
  3. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,757
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Yes, and no. Yes, in that there's a tendency to date with a view to establishing a long term relationship or marriage, and no because I doubt the experience is the same for everyone, which is why I'm posing the question.

    I won't assume everyone's experience is the same; wouldn't want to lump everyone in the same category.

    How we are in relationships has more to do with our experiences with different types or different people.

    And we are still individuals, even if we're all INFJs.

    So, what I'm referring to is not the nature of the relationship, but the experience . . . (hope this makes sense)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #3 Gaze, Sep 15, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2009
  4. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2009
    Threads:
    30
    Messages:
    2,107
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    Okay. But I was being sarcastic.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,757
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Gotcha.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,826
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,245
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    No
     
  7. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,826
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,245
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    I tend to get attached very very easily, I can give my heart away too easily, which has led me to be more protective and picky. I wont tend to date someone unless they match me in a way that I need them to. However, I dont like being alone too much either, so when I get frustrated enough I will wig out into my shadow and go looking for easy sexual access, in which case its still easy for me to get attached but in that case I find its not my heart making the calls but my head. And even if a relationship begins to blossom from that situation I will tend to nip it in the bud.
     
  8. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Threads:
    382
    Messages:
    11,688
    Likes Received:
    1,364
    Trophy Points:
    881
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    I'm not the best example, but it's pretty true for me. I won't date anyone that wouldn't be "marriage potential." I just can't. But then, the last date I had was over four years ago, so what does that tell you? :m129:
     
    Jouska likes this.
  9. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,757
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Dating today is more relaxed and comfortable. Although partners may enter with a view towards marriage, there is not as much pressure to move in that direction too quickly. The idea is to enjoy the dating experience with that person while learning more about the person, see if it fits, before jumping into long term commitments. It seems more acceptable to wait and take the time to wade through the waters so that you're not forced or feel rushed into it.

    It is also the chance to learn more about self, learning how to handle being in a relationship, instead of thinking that it must work and continue onto marriage. And that's one of the things I appreciate quite a bit in today's social climate. There's no need to rush.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #9 Gaze, Sep 15, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2009
  10. TrevOrTrevor

    TrevOrTrevor Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Threads:
    7
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Sounds familiar!

    I agree..if I'm actually 'dating' someone, I'm looking for it to become a long term relationship...or it already is one.
     
    #10 TrevOrTrevor, Sep 16, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2009
  11. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    1,507
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    80
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    They are pretty similar, though.


    I mean, once I was stressing over relationships, and my intp friend said
    "Relax, it's not like you're husband shopping!"

    You sure? Some of my friends tease me for my high expectations, but I simply cannot lower them.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Jouska likes this.
  12. Spear of The Adversary

    Spear of The Adversary Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2009
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENTP
    These days, I don't "date" around. I'll fuck randomly if I'm out of town, but when I date, I'm looking to winnow out the girls who aren't possible long termers.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. analyst

    analyst Newbie

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    The only dating that I do is long term, unless she dumps me early on ;-)
     
Loading...

Share This Page