INFJ - Why ENTPs scare me.

Gerard91

Gerard91

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ISFj
Someone wrote on one site that ENTP is a match for INFJs. So - on one side people who swim in difficult challenges, brains filled with ideas, but with zero sense of ethics. On the other side difficult and emotional INFJ who goes gently and friendly with his/her way of life (avoiding any other way). Supplementary relationship (like love has something to do with economy).

But somehow ENTPs fear me. In my family both of my grandfathers were ENTJ, one grand-granfather was ENTJ in relationship with INFP. So in my family there is strong understanding towards this type. Comparing to them, ENTP seems to have no particular long-term goal they want to achieve, neither strong beliefs. This is both exhausting and insecure for me. Maybe it has something to do with my general social anxiety, or I am more the INTJ way but they really show signs of potential aggression.

I think ENTP - INFJ relationship can be good, but INFJ must be stable. I even think this can be general rule when it comes to T-F relations, the F part must have stable life to move along, even when it goes to perfect match. I read once about INTJ-ENFP relationship which broke after 7 years when ENFP boyfriend had a serious problem at work. He stated that they broke because he wasn't getting enough feedback back then. What are your thoughts regarding this matter?
 
The fascination of INFJs with ENTPs is a fascination for the new and opposite. It has a limited lifespan, around the magnitude of the ENTP's attention span. INFJs have much more common ground with INTJs. We have the confidence of ENTPs, but in addition that we share the Ni and the stability of a goal-oriented life.
 
I always end up in fights with intps and Ne doms are way too much for me, even though they can be loads of fun. I gotta take em in short bursts.

ENTJs make me laugh a lot though because they call everybody out on their bs.
 
It should.

I have two ENTP friends. One whos two years ahead of my time. I could tolerate him to a degree, but reason why I didn't after is because the flightiness of Ne just gets annoying. You'll eventually find that they're good friends, just more....different.

Embrace that society likes you more....jk.

Interesting stuff.
 
I think regardless of type, both people must be "stable" for it to work. If one side is "stable" and one side isn't, then the "stable" side will have to accept that they will do more of the work and have to decide they want an "unstable" relationship requiring them to work more.

Edit: Freaking Es anyway. Uh..unless I am feeling E, then it is okay.
 
ENTP females, I think, have it worse and probably are really, really bad for INFJ males. INFJ males seem more at ease with being INFJ, more OK with being in touch with feelings and the rest. But ENTP females, I feel, that they ... try too hard. They've got this masculine-like personality rattling inside a female body that's much more emotional but muzzled by the ENTP rationality, which often leads to disconnects and a sense of alienation. Look at some ENTP forum postings by ENTP females and you'll know what I mean. (ENTP females are very, very good looking though.)

So ENTP male + INFJ female = PROFIT

but

ENTP female + INFJ male = LOSE

I also disagree with the zero sense of ethics accusation. We do have ethics, but they're based on what's practical and useful in the bigger scheme of things (although immature ENTPs will find a way to justify just about any transgression). So while I do behave ethically according to my own standards, it's not exactly on the same wavelength as conventional ethics.
 
Lea said:
I can only tolerate NTPs to the degree that they have their "P"ness under control !;-):m024:
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Haha nice :P Wait, quick question, on a side note, why is your avatar a picture of a boy if you're a girl? What's that guy's name?

Anyways, I agree with you and I can see why this is scary. But sometimes opposites attract. I think either the boy or girl would work fine. It's all up to you as to whether it'll work or not.
 
SpilledMilk said:
I also disagree with the zero sense of ethics accusation. We do have ethics, but they're based on what's practical and useful in the bigger scheme of things (although immature ENTPs will find a way to justify just about any transgression). So while I do behave ethically according to my own standards, it's not exactly on the same wavelength as conventional ethics.
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Yeeeaahh. Funny I came to a conclusion similar to this just today. I've been hanging with some ENTP male, and I have noticed that he has no qualms about and is quite good at 'manipulating'. He doesn't do like deep emotional manipulation like an NF type might. It's just tons and tons of little things. He controls social energy very well, phrases things cleverly, and sets up situations cleverly. He can and does say misleading things, all the time. But I've worked with this guy. I think I got a read on him. He has a good heart. He's not going to steal your shit, or rip you off, or do something malicious. The way I fathom his mind works is more like "Good for them, and good for me! Often people need a little (or a lot) of encouraging though."
 
technics said:
The fascination of INFJs with ENTPs is a fascination for the new and opposite. It has a limited lifespan, around the magnitude of the ENTP's attention span. INFJs have much more common ground with INTJs. We have the confidence of ENTPs, but in addition that we share the Ni and the stability of a goal-oriented life.
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I could not possibly agree more.
 
As an INFJ male I find it fairly infrequent that I meet ENTP females. The ones I do meet range from downright annoying but sweetly naiive to admirably driven, prescient, and commonly garullous. I have yet to find a speck of attraction to any of the ENTP females I've met and identified as ENTP.

I attract a greater share of attention than some men and can say that the women I'm most attracted to are NT's and NF's (and more specifically the NFP's and NTJ's). INFJ females, however, really are something else and being a type that is inherently searching for itself it is nice to be accompanied by a person who may be able to understand my personality and essential qualities just as intimately.

Having said all that I don't have love and 1-on-1 relationship as a very high priority. At age 25 I have been steadily plowing ahead in school, work, and health and while I am extremely fun and even a bit flirtatious my life structure does not allow for much courtship (hey, neither does my wallet!). Anyways, regardless of that, I'm always interested but want to say that I'm rarely side-tracked into the pursuit of a relationship. I'll just have to keep at it a few more years :)
 
My mom is an ENFJ and I love her to pieces but holy smokes she can overwhelm. I keep them at ARMS length, because their reach can smother. INFP's would be my absolute favorite but because of how waifish they are it kinda undermines the whole attraction. ENTJ's are great but they can be distracted by their needs to assert and, as a male, that means meeting females who love that they can be the ENTJ in our relationship but are upset by the social implications of being the dominant in a male/female relationship. INTJ's are also really fantastic but the females are pretty clammy, if you know what I mean. I've met INTJ's that are outright frigid and INTJ's that are outright whores, and I love them both! So the INFJ is really my greatest interest but so hard to find, and when you do, the INFJ girl is a thousand miles behind in psychological development.

Perhaps this explains why I am so much more interested in women older than me?
 
daydreamer said:
Haha nice :P Wait, quick question, on a side note, why is your avatar a picture of a boy if you're a girl? What's that guy's name?

Anyways, I agree with you and I can see why this is scary. But sometimes opposites attract. I think either the boy or girl would work fine. It's all up to you as to whether it'll work or not.
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It's Robert Hoffman the dancer and I just like him :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1PR8pbNVwI&feature=related
 
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