Hi so I am INTP female and I have an INFJ guy friend. The friendship lasted about 4 months but he was a co-worker for about a year and a half. He always was quite shy though I personally think he was just putting up a shy front. I made it obvious I liked him so that made him a bit nervous around me. Eventually he started to admit he did find me appealing but he still kept distance.
One day he invited me over and he was really drunk. Things got hot. But somehow he cooled down and told me we should stop because he only has sex in relationships and he just didn't see me that way. The next day he apologised, I thought everything was ok. He and I kept in touch basically everyday since then. The second time I hung out as he place he wasn't as warm and kept saying he was busy.
The third time, he seemed irritated I came over. The next day he told me stop making a habit out of coming over and that week he moved apartments but to this day hasn't told me where. He and I also quit our jobs but he hasn't told me where he works. Also he never wants to hang out. Every time I would ask he would say he's busy until one day he told me that he only hangs out with very few people who he knows very well. This hurt me, badly.
So that week I told him that he and I weren't friends because friends hang out. He said I was being emotional for no reason. I should add that every time he and I text in more than 6 text message intervals he says he's busy. Often he uses unh huh and ok as a response. That hurt. I asked him if I was bothering him and he said no that I'm over thinking things.
But the past month things got really bad, he and I had to meet for him to give me something I had lent and when I asked him for a hug, he said no. Then he sigh and hugged me with a three foot distance between our abdomens.
I confronted him about how his behaviour was changing and he got irritated and said nothing changed and that he was tired of putting up with me saying that stuff. Last week I asked him to go somewhere quiet with me just to chill and be close to nature and he said 'No thank you'''
So that week I told him he and I should sever contact as it was obvious I was getting too attached and that, that wasn't good for either of us. He got upset but I said it doesn't mean I don't care but that it was for the best. So he had to give me something else I had borrowed him, some cash and wanted to meet but I said that he should give it to a friend mine. He got upset but did just that.
However I realised he gave me 50 bucks more. I felt so bad. So I apologised and sent maybe 10 long texts explaining why I said we should cut ties and why im sorry. Which he ignored. I tried calling him but he tested me back saying that I should only contact him in case of emergency.
A few days ago I got a panic attack due to seeing a trigger (someone who treated me really badly, basically abuse). So I texted my friend saying that I was having a panic attack and he never responded. My heart is broken. It seems he's gone. So today I sent he a text basically saying I realise he is done with me and that I'm just glad to have met him.
I just don't know why he couldn't like me even as a friend. He seems to never have liked me and that hurts a lot.
One day he invited me over and he was really drunk. Things got hot. But somehow he cooled down and told me we should stop because he only has sex in relationships and he just didn't see me that way. The next day he apologised, I thought everything was ok. He and I kept in touch basically everyday since then. The second time I hung out as he place he wasn't as warm and kept saying he was busy.
The third time, he seemed irritated I came over. The next day he told me stop making a habit out of coming over and that week he moved apartments but to this day hasn't told me where. He and I also quit our jobs but he hasn't told me where he works. Also he never wants to hang out. Every time I would ask he would say he's busy until one day he told me that he only hangs out with very few people who he knows very well. This hurt me, badly.
So that week I told him that he and I weren't friends because friends hang out. He said I was being emotional for no reason. I should add that every time he and I text in more than 6 text message intervals he says he's busy. Often he uses unh huh and ok as a response. That hurt. I asked him if I was bothering him and he said no that I'm over thinking things.
But the past month things got really bad, he and I had to meet for him to give me something I had lent and when I asked him for a hug, he said no. Then he sigh and hugged me with a three foot distance between our abdomens.
I confronted him about how his behaviour was changing and he got irritated and said nothing changed and that he was tired of putting up with me saying that stuff. Last week I asked him to go somewhere quiet with me just to chill and be close to nature and he said 'No thank you'''
So that week I told him he and I should sever contact as it was obvious I was getting too attached and that, that wasn't good for either of us. He got upset but I said it doesn't mean I don't care but that it was for the best. So he had to give me something else I had borrowed him, some cash and wanted to meet but I said that he should give it to a friend mine. He got upset but did just that.
However I realised he gave me 50 bucks more. I felt so bad. So I apologised and sent maybe 10 long texts explaining why I said we should cut ties and why im sorry. Which he ignored. I tried calling him but he tested me back saying that I should only contact him in case of emergency.
A few days ago I got a panic attack due to seeing a trigger (someone who treated me really badly, basically abuse). So I texted my friend saying that I was having a panic attack and he never responded. My heart is broken. It seems he's gone. So today I sent he a text basically saying I realise he is done with me and that I'm just glad to have met him.
I just don't know why he couldn't like me even as a friend. He seems to never have liked me and that hurts a lot.