Although she's not Amish she was raised very traditionally and homeschooled. I can't see what I'm typing so please excuse me if parts are messed up. I've been doing (already) most of the great advice in the last two post. We actually have an amazing relationship! We make each other laugh all the time and love each other a lot. Yes we different on beliefs but not ideas, she's a smart reasonable woman, and we work really well together. But for the most part we've ignored her family and her "beliefs". She actually doesn't agree with most of the Bible, but she still believes in god. Her family are the traditional ones. Moving away was originally a joke between me and her but now we've decided that Texas is to hot and really kind of backwards so we want to move for other reasons as well. I don't know if she'll ever be able to confront her parents, she made it clear that she was never going to tell them about her virginity... but I was hoping that if we get married we could avoid things like baptisms and forcing our kids to follow silly traditions (she's not Baptist, just an example).
For the record, I appreciate. The last two post, that's exactly the type of response I was looking for
thanks!
I especially like the part about letting her make her own decisions because lately I've been pushy, I think she'll come around, she already resents a lot of her upbringing, and even of she doesn't, I believe. In Dr. Manhattan, so I can't really be upset with her for god
I hope you can see why how you worded your OP you didn't get the response you were looking for initially. You come to an INFJ forum and make a generalization that most feelers are irrational twats, you call Christianity unreasonable, (it's not) and not worth respect, that you know that religion is poisonous, and make many other ignorant, polemic comments all the while calling yourself brilliant and intelligent...it was a little awkward to read as I was a little embarrassed for you.
Now that you've stated what you truly think now that you're done letting everyone know how intelligent you are, I see that you probably are being genuine about wondering what you should do. It's wise for you to think about the future and what you can and can not tolerate when it comes to religion. I married a Catholic, and me not being particularly religious didn't want my daughter baptized when she was born..and after that when it came to holidays things were awkward. Things might be great initially but once you bring children in the world don't be surprised if she want's to reclaim some of her old beliefs. I held firm not allowing my daughter to be baptized (I wanted that to be her decision) but I'm not afraid of her being exposed to ideas and beliefs outside of mine, children should be exposed to many different ideas and beliefs, but at the same time you need to be comfortable too. If you are afraid her parents will undermine you these are legit concerns...these are very legit concerns and as long as you communicate and decide on what you will do before you get married, well that is the best you can do. You can't really control the future. She might change her mind about everything but at least you can remind her of the discussion.
You said that she does not believe most of the Bible, so do you know what parts she still believes? Do any of those include baptisms and the like? How important is God and faith to her and in her life? I'm not sure what kind of Christian says they don't believe most of the bible, so I'm going to guess you don't have much to worry about as far as Christianity is concerned. You've only been dating a few months, but sooner or later you need to meet her parents don't you think? Have you guys talked about meeting them? Do you really want to marry into a family that wouldn't accept you?
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