INFJ + ENFJ relationship dynamics. | INFJ Forum

INFJ + ENFJ relationship dynamics.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Billy, Jul 20, 2010.

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  1. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    You know what I wanna know, lets hear about it, peoples experiences, thoughts, opinions, preconceptions, etc.

    I will explain more later if anyone is interested, but I would like to know more about this pairing in general, what works, what does, pitfalls etc.

    My best friend is an ENFJ and he and I are so in sync on so many things its insane, if this can go that way as it does with him, im talking transcendence via relationship...
     
  2. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    I don't know that I've ever been in a romantic relationship with an ENFJ, but my BFF is an ENFJ as well, and she and I have a relationship like the one you describe with your best friend - we're SO in sync on so many things that it's eerie. Really, she is one of the reasons I still believe in God - I truly believe that a friendship like ours could only have been divinely created.
     
  3. 88chaz88

    88chaz88 Back for a limited time only
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    Well my ENFJ dad has finally settled with an INFJ for about 7 years now which is a record for him.

    So yeah, I can't deny that you guys get on well, but then again so does anyone that shares functions. Especially when they're only shifted a little preferrance wise.
     
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  4. OP
    Billy

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    I was dating an ENFJ before like a year ago and I ended it because I felt that I could do better ( I know I am asshole) but the heart wants what it wants, it wasnt her personality that I had an issue with it was just her life and the way she lived, but this time around with this girl... shes so centered and mature and intelligent... I wonder how different it can be because she is also a little more reserved, but very beautiful... I am rather excited, of all the people I am dealing with she is the one I want to see msot, we are on the phone talking for hours at a time, its madness.
     
  5. Tamagochi

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    As much as I love her, my ENFJ friend does have some faults (as does everyone). She can be selfish at times, unfocused, impractical with money, high-maintenance. Whether any of these things are typical to ENFJs I do not know (I suspect it has more to do with her upbringing - she is also the only child of wealthy parents), but my point is that even the most compatible "types" can certainly be incompatible based on personality differences. Maybe this more centered, mature, and reserved ENFJ will be a better match for you personality-wise. You seem happy - I hope things continue to go well. :)
     
  7. 88chaz88

    88chaz88 Back for a limited time only
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    Should add that ENFJ's can be very manipulative, even without knowing it.
     
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  8. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Yup Fe being dominate. Fe can be really bad about that.
     
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  9. Tamagochi

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    Seriously though I think INFJ-ENFJ paring can be a match made in heaven but I've never seen one working long-term. Maybe it's almost too good to be true.

    Dated one years ago. It was the most intense experience of my life even though we've never had sex. ENFJs really know how to get under your skin - I could shit rainbows at that time. Unfortunately breaking up was also the most intense pain I've ever had. It's the kind that makes you wish you were dead. Be warned.

    And then she married some lucky ISFJ:(
     
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  10. Starry Night

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    My best friend is an ENFJ, we get on so amazingly well! Sometimes its like we can read eachothers thoughts, I love it! Im not afraid of intense relationships at all. Most of the time you`re around S types and that makes me feel like Im an alien or something so I love having the complete opposite with her!

    Though Id like to know what you guys mean with them being manipulative? Can you explain a bit more?
     
  11. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Yes, I have friend who is an ENFJ, known him for 2 years now. We're so in sync with our interests and ideas it's ridiculous. But, he can be competitive and gets frustrated easily.

    There is also an ENFJ guy on my course, who again, has almost exactly the same interests and outlook as me. The only problem is, they are very popular and everyone wants a piece of them!
     
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  12. OP
    Billy

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    Wow... update.

    Connection doesnt even come close to begin to describe whats going on right now...

    I am so far in this girls head and vice versa... its like we are almost the same mind in some ways... but differnt shades. She the light hearted extroverted charmer and my rock solid awareness and perceptions.

    I think she might be "the one" if things continue on like this and I am not one for saying ridiculous things like "the one" which is something I fundamentally dont believe in. Soul mates etc... its just about statistics and chance.

    But wow... the connection right now, wow... i want to see her more before I comment further.
     
  13. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    Are you coming out to us, Billy?
     
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    Billy

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    Yes I am coming out to you, except instead of coming out to you I totally talked about this hot chick I am totally falling for instead. What the hell I messed up...
     
  15. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    My mom is ENFJ. She's very forward and fearless.
    My best friend is ENFJ. He's rather lacking in the confidence area.
    Both of them are great cooks. They take care of people to a fault.

    Be careful though. Like everyone said, they can get under your skin. And, as such, they can really fuck you up sometimes
     
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  16. OP
    Billy

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    I want her to penetrate into my head. Maybe she will be the one I give my mental virginity to. I hope so.
     
  17. Psychonaut

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    I have an ENFJ best friend and (like the others) we're very in sync. We constantly have those "I was just thinking that" moments, and I mean constantly (even over text). I think she's hilarious and vice versa. We've never had any fights because we're so similar; it's an optimal friendship. She appreciates my Ni, and I appreciate her Fe. But the Fe is where we really connect, Ni less so.
     
  18. ThisIsWhoIAm

    ThisIsWhoIAm is best pony

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    I've been living with my girlfriend for over a year now, and we are deeply loving and even in love still (not as much as the first months but that's how it is :), our connection is amazing. We understand each other and appreciate each other a ton, and we just click in almost everything. Also the I and E balance each other very nicely and precisely even. It's the best thing i could have asked for.
     
  19. ThisIsWhoIAm

    ThisIsWhoIAm is best pony

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    Of course it depends on the person a ton, it's not sufficient to be "INFJ + ENFJ", as we are all special snowflakes :)
     
  20. LittleElf

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    My best friend is an ENFJ. It´s the best friendship I´ve ever had and will ever have, it doesnt get any better than this!

    Oh and she is not manipulative! Why do people always say enfjs are? Im not saying some enfjs arent, just that Ive never experienced it (thank god), and would like to know what people mean.
     
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