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INFJ and INFP

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knight in battle

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Feb 28, 2011
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MBTI
INFJ
What's the difference between INFJ and INFP?
What are the dynamics to watch for? Are these compatible friendship types for the long run? or are they set for failure?

Rather basic questions, but I really would like to know, because I don't have a lot of friends, but I started being friends with an INFP, and the Feeling part of the friendship is just awesome. I mean, how many friends can I really trust to understand me and share emotional depth with?

My two other best friends are INTP and ENTP, and they are cool, but where's the Feeling?! Not to say I haven't been intimate with them or share personal things. Actually, I can share with these two types things I wouldn't share with most people. For example, I don't invite most people to my house, let alone into my room. But these two friends, I have! I even let my INTP friend stay in my room using my computer without monitoring him (in the event he might try to steal something or look at something private, etc).

But with my INFP friend, who I've known for more than a year, it's been a struggle to know sometimes where we're at in the friendship. But when there are those close moments, it's like an epiphany. I trust him with a lot of personal stuff.
 
For differences, this thread explains things in detail: http://forums.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=14424

On a personal note, it sounds as if you pin too much on type. A relationship isn't set for success or doomed to fail because of MBTI. It's much more about both individuals personalities getting along.
 
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I don't know much about the differences in the MBTI type you mention. But on the friendship part I agree with Chaz that it is about the individual, not about which type one tests as. You could have two friends who both are very close with you, and they would test two completely different types.

So, of course you are compatible :)
 
I have an INFP best friend.


When we first started being friends
five years ago our relationship
was how you described. Over time
though it has been easier to tell
more and more where our friendship
stands.


We have had our ups and downs
but that's how it is with any
relationship. As long as you put
in the effort and are patient
you can typically be friends with
anyone no matter their type.
 
88chaz88 said:
A relationship isn't set for success or doomed to fail because of MBTI. It's much more about both individuals personalities getting along.
Click to expand...

Bingo. +1

---

I type as INFP. My best friend types as INFJ. As with any relationship, we have misunderstandings from time to time. That said, our friendship, our relationship, our commitment, and our love for one another continues on because we choose to make it so by doing the work necessary for it to be nourished and thrive. Sometimes that is a challenge for each of us, and both of us, because of who we are as people, not because of how we type within MBTI. On the other hand, I really don
 
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You all made good points. I think it must have been interesting when I found out my type and decided to ask what his type was. Maybe it's a typical thing for INFJs to ask.

But like some of you said, we both require time to work on the friendship. We both have done things to help move it along. I try to move things along by being consistent with contacting him. He's tried to be friendly and spontaneous and fun.

[MENTION=2926]Bird[/MENTION]: And yes, I agree. It's been really sweet. I've had close times with my ENTP buddy too, though it kinda wears off a little after a while. I think the friendship is kinda like my ENTP friend. There was big mutual draw at the beginning and kind of a fear that it's too good to last. But now that we have been friends for more than a year with consistent texting contact and occasionally hanging out, it might actually be real.
 
I think I can be kind of formulaic when I approach friendships. For example, I'll wait about 3 or 4 days before calling someone again. Sometimes, I am probably annoying and text someone too much (once or three times a day if they respond).

I think what frustrates me is that we get along so well and depend on each other emotionally to some degree. Yet I feel like he's the one who helps me out with social issues (giving advice, inviting me to get-togethers). He risks by inviting me to things. I risk by showing him my emotions or thoughts.

There's a website that says INFJ and INFP are "Complements", meaning they complete each other. I definitely think this is true about this friendship. I find it hard when I feel like I want the friendship to be more "regular" than he does. Not saying I don't have other friends, but other friends aren't all as appealing, because they are usually missing the Feeling.
 
MBTI are just suggestions I think, you can be with whoever you like.
 
daydreamer said:
MBTI are just suggestions I think, you can be with whoever you like.
Click to expand...

Your comment makes sense, particularly from your perspective. However, I tend to choose my friends carefully, and even when I have chosen friends I trust, I usually hang out with only two or three of them on a regular basis.
 
kyo said:
I don't know much about the differences in the MBTI type you mention. But on the friendship part I agree with Chaz that it is about the individual, not about which type one tests as. You could have two friends who both are very close with you, and they would test two completely different types.

So, of course you are compatible :)
Click to expand...

Wow,how delightful. I think your encouraging (mentoring) remark is true to your INFJ type. (Not that you are just a representative of your type. You're an individual who is more than a type, and I respect you as such.) I think I agree for the most part with your statement that two friends could test very differently. I just have a tendency to type people - maybe as a tendency to over-analyze them?
 
All the INFPs I know are different. I wouldn't say there is a systematic approach, but it sounds like you are doing a great job keeping the connection thriving by communicating on a regular basis. :)

I will say that they seem to be a type that will overwhelm you with how much they will give in a relationship. They definitely rival INFJ generosity.
 
purplecrayons said:
All the INFPs I know are different. I wouldn't say there is a systematic approach, but it sounds like you are doing a great job keeping the connection thriving by communicating on a regular basis. :)

I will say that they seem to be a type that will overwhelm you with how much they will give in a relationship. They definitely rival INFJ generosity.
Click to expand...


nuh uh!:m182: :D
 
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I've befriended two INFPs and there was a subtle current that flowed in both. A gentle ebb and flow, if you will. The tide will strengthen and come closer over time, be patient. That said, MBTI is a rather blunt approach to categorizing the differences between people. It is useful for broad strokes and few details, in my unprofessional opinion. Humans are humans, in the end; we all use the same resources, just in different ways. Bridge the difference and you're set.

Best of luck!
 
I've had an INFP best friend for 15 years.
We've hit billions of road bumps but we're still strong friends.
My INFP friend is very anal, OCD and needy. I enjoy accommodating his needs and being the friend he needs.
It's a cycle, that I never get what I want. But in the end seeing my friend happy is more important.

It's capable if the INFJ has enough feeling to really suffer this compromising of what they want.
He knows I sacrifice a lot to spend time with him, so he in turns makes sure he shows his appreciation. (He was the first to get a car, or to get us working out, etc. Things that I do in my life have some base that was created by our relationship).

I have a tendency to have a lot of bromance in my life, though I am 100% heterosexual. It comes with the confidence in my sexuality. Perhaps this is key, that you are not embarrassed to have a close relationship with another guy.
 
buttercup said:
INFJs seem more grounded and reliable.
Click to expand...

Generally yes. I sometimes test INFP but I notice that I'm obviously INFJ, because I enjoy routine and familiarity. This may explain the "reliability" part of it, but I also get bored of new things that I get into but later I discover it was only for exploration and to meet new people.
 
namiasdf said:
My INFP friend is very anal, OCD and needy. I enjoy accommodating his needs and being the friend he needs.
It's a cycle, that I never get what I want. But in the end seeing my friend happy is more important.

It's capable if the INFJ has enough feeling to really suffer this compromising of what they want.
He knows I sacrifice a lot to spend time with him, so he in turns makes sure he shows his appreciation. (He was the first to get a car, or to get us working out, etc. Things that I do in my life have some base that was created by our relationship).

I have a tendency to have a lot of bromance in my life, though I am 100% heterosexual. It comes with the confidence in my sexuality. Perhaps this is key, that you are not embarrassed to have a close relationship with another guy.
Click to expand...

It's ironic but I agree. I have very close relationships with my guy friends, even though I'm 70% homosexual. (Incidentally, homosexual is like my "dominant function" whereas heterosexual is like my "secondary function".) This is particular true of my INFP friends. They are very gentle and open to affection. And sometimes, they actually see that I need affection and reach out to me. Two out of the three friends I talked to about my sexuality recently were INFPs, and they are both heterosexual.

With my INFP friends, there is very good complementarity and mutual caring. My INFJ friends tend to be interactive, which makes sense.
 
Well, I can share my experience here. My partner of 10 years and I are both INFJ's. We generally get along very well, but until recently when we learned we were both INFJ that the deep level of trust and feelings just didn't seem to exist.

I attribute this to being the same personality type - we both tended to build walls and barriers - which often caused us to both shut down without working through deeper issues.

Since we have learned of our INFJ type we used this knowledge to realize that we share many of the same weaknesses and strengths. So we are learning to recognize in each other when we start to put up a barrier and we help each other bring them down.

It has been very interesting and as we have learned our relationship has grown stronger and closer. It has taken a LOT of effort and self reflection.

In many relationships the other person is the Yin to our Yang which balances things out, when you have two people of the same personality type it can make it difficult, but oh so rewarding when you learn to work together to solve issues.

It takes work to be in a relationship of any kind with another INFx, but is also very rewarding...

I have several friends that are Pisces, and I recently learned that INFx share many of the same compassionate traits. Because we are on the same wavelength we seem to really bond quickly and mutual trust just happens.
 
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