illness and accepting help

[beetpoet]

i've had a chronic health issue that, up until now, has been annoying but not debilitating or dangerous.

this week, my health issue decided to change its mind. i got serious anemia, and had to have a blood transfusion. and i was just told that my condition turned to cancerous. things are going to happen pretty fast now. i will have surgery in about two weeks. (luckily this type of cancer often is resolved just by surgery alone).

i was told i would need someone with me the first week home, and others to help me out for about six weeks afterward.

whew! i often have trouble asking for or accepting others' help. i wondered if anyone else has the same thing?

i worry about my helpers feelings bored, overwhelmed or put upon. i worry about being entertaining enough or talkative enough because when i'm not feeling well i tend to "fold in". i think it's related to the empathy thing because i'm often more tuned in to what others might be feeling and wanting to assist them to be comfortable.

i feel like it's kind of selfish or silly to be stressed out about others wanting to help me. i know i am really really lucky to have such loving family, friends and coworkers. i think i want to think of some things people can do for me that aren't as much "in person" (like maybe shopping for me or freezing me a meal or something). i do have some family members and friends who are used to my quiet ways who i can ask about the in person stuff.

 

[TinyBubbles]

i'm sorry about your illness, hope the surgery goes well.

as for feeling uneasy about asking for help.. yeah i can definitely relate. how about instead of having people over to 'assist' you, you make it so they're coming over for some other reason.. like maybe you can play cards together, or watch a movie or something. at least it wouldn't be all about your illness in that case. that might not work, but it's worth a try.

also, i think you're pretty considerate not to want to oblige people even when you're ill, but in the same light it's just not healthy to want to do everything yourself when you're physically unable. accepting a bit of help is not a bad thing. consider it this way too: it's also partly for THEIR sake, since people often want to be of service. take that away from them and people feel useless.

 

[Gaze]

Sorry about the surgery. Yeah, it can be difficult to accept help.