illness and accepting help | INFJ Forum

illness and accepting help

Discussion in 'Health and Wellness' started by beetpoet, May 21, 2010.

Share This Page

More threads by beetpoet
  1. beetpoet

    beetpoet Community Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2010
    Threads:
    16
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    i've had a chronic health issue that, up until now, has been annoying but not debilitating or dangerous.



    this week, my health issue decided to change its mind. i got serious anemia, and had to have a blood transfusion. and i was just told that my condition turned to cancerous. things are going to happen pretty fast now. i will have surgery in about two weeks. (luckily this type of cancer often is resolved just by surgery alone).

    i was told i would need someone with me the first week home, and others to help me out for about six weeks afterward.

    whew! i often have trouble asking for or accepting others' help. i wondered if anyone else has the same thing?

    i worry about my helpers feelings bored, overwhelmed or put upon. i worry about being entertaining enough or talkative enough because when i'm not feeling well i tend to "fold in". i think it's related to the empathy thing because i'm often more tuned in to what others might be feeling and wanting to assist them to be comfortable.

    i feel like it's kind of selfish or silly to be stressed out about others wanting to help me. i know i am really really lucky to have such loving family, friends and coworkers. i think i want to think of some things people can do for me that aren't as much "in person" (like maybe shopping for me or freezing me a meal or something). i do have some family members and friends who are used to my quiet ways who i can ask about the in person stuff.
     
    Questingpoet likes this.
  2. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Threads:
    245
    Messages:
    9,346
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,228
    Trophy Points:
    966
    MBTI:
    ^.^
    Enneagram:
    .
    i'm sorry about your illness, hope the surgery goes well.

    as for feeling uneasy about asking for help.. yeah i can definitely relate. how about instead of having people over to 'assist' you, you make it so they're coming over for some other reason.. like maybe you can play cards together, or watch a movie or something. at least it wouldn't be all about your illness in that case. that might not work, but it's worth a try.

    also, i think you're pretty considerate not to want to oblige people even when you're ill, but in the same light it's just not healthy to want to do everything yourself when you're physically unable. accepting a bit of help is not a bad thing. consider it this way too: it's also partly for THEIR sake, since people often want to be of service. take that away from them and people feel useless.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,388
    Messages:
    28,136
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,816
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Sorry about the surgery. Yeah, it can be difficult to accept help.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page