[INFJ] I hurt an INFJ very bad
- Thread starter feelsbad
- Start date
I think I was trying to show a couple things:
1. No, we can not diagnose and treat over the internet.
2. There is fluidity in psychology but there are terms that define personality and disorders and some people know these terms better than others.
3. It's ok to say what one thinks something might be, because people might never go for therapy or help if they don't have insight. I can think of many people who actually talked to someone because a consistent message was sent to them.
4. If enough people are saying the same thing then maybe going for treatment with that kind of doctor might be a good idea.
Yes, some of us did suggest professional help. I was one of those people. I also said that this was probably not the best place for him to deal with this issue.
Ok great, then what was the point of asking me if I was sure that no one here was qualified to diagnose anyone on this thread???
This has been the most pointless argument, ever, lol....
Likewise! And I'm not offended. I'm just a bit plucky by nature. Thank you.
I'm an INTJ male. I have a good friend (INFJ female) on Skype. We never met in real life, but we know us online for about a year now.
She is one of the nicest people I ever met. So I really like her, but I did a few things she can't forgive anymore I guess.
First of all when we met online I told her I'm self-employed, working in IT like programming stuff.
That wasn't true. The truth is at that time I earned my money by doing criminal stuff in Darknet.
She somehow intuitionally knew that something was wrong, so she asked me different stuff and thought I was lying about this or that. Then somehow she asked me if I'm a hacker. So I responded "define hacker" and that was the moment she knew I was lying about my job.
I couldn't do this anymore so 1 month later I told her the truth. She felt so badly about this, firstly because I lied to her and secondly because I have been a criminal.
She was really pissed on, so I tried my best to prove her I wasn't a liar. She also told me right in the beginning she is a very paranoid person, so this triggered her really hard, but she accepted my sorry and we moved on.
She also warned me she usually wouldn't trust twice. I promised I wouldn't hurt her again.
Until I did something much much worse. Not even comparable.
I hope she won't hate me for posting this here, but I want to get help somehow. So yeah.
In the beginning she sent me censored picture of her face, to prove me she is real. I posted this picture online to troll others pretending I have just found a girlfriend. I also posted a screenshot and I forgot to remove her Skype name. This was so stupid...
Someone messaged her, I tried to explain what I did but I couldn't.
She felt so super betrayed, but I sweated to her I would take full responsibility for what I did. I said if I will help her to get out of this situation, she will accept my sorry. I believed her, so she changed her account, I gave her tips like not accepting any friend requests and nothing happened to her.
But her trust was broken, she was super distant. I tried my best to win her back, to somehow show her it was a mistake I did. So there were differences. Sometimes she was more open, sometimes she didn't reply for days. I tried my best to prove her I was always on her side, but she became super paranoid. First she didn't tell how she felt and said "I'm okay. it's okay... don't worry about me." but she remained distant, but with time she confronted me with what I did.
I tried to apologize hundreds of times, but overtime I tried she just became more hurt and angry it seemed to me. No matter how hard I tried. She became so paranoid, she sometimes asked me if I will try to stalk her or something. It became much worse and worse.
A few days ago she said she will delete her account. I begged her not do, so she wanted to stay. But a few moments later she replied she just said wanted to stay, because she fears I would come to find her and stuff like that.
I asked her if she really wanted to leave me (she said that before already a few times, but then she finally stayed, so I thought it was the same) and if so I would delete and block her for her and I promised I wouldn't stalk her then. She didn't answer to my questions.
I waited about 2 days, asked her again, I wrote her a message where I explained her again how much I hate myself for what I did and I just want the best for her and if she's that hurt that she can't anymore I would leave her now if she wishes.
She didn't reply, so finally I said good bye and blocked her.
I don't know what to do right now, because I seriously miss her and I feel like I lost something really important. I'm so sad and I can't even imagine how bad she must feel, I just want to make it undone, but she won't trust me again and she even has reason for it. I would like to prove her I'm not lying, but it seems to be impossible now.
Look, just move on and try and learn from your mistakes from now on. You simply had this shit coming after the picture. How old are you..
Honestly, I'd cut this chick loose. Doesn't sound like either of you are in a stable frame of mind ofr a relationship. She sounds like she's got her own issues and the two of you can just wind up setting each other off. It might not be healthy.
@Katniss Neverbeef I simply made a point. I wasn't picking on you or anyone else.
Who would have thought suggesting someone not take an internet diagnosis to heart could be so controversial!
Who would have thought suggesting someone not take an internet diagnosis to heart could be so controversial!
We're not in a romantic relationship nor does we want to be. Also what do you mean by "she got her own issues"? Like what?