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"Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart
- Jun 26, 2017
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I'm not, it smells horrible.
I Am An Alcoholic
- Thread starter bcrwz
- Start date
One LOVE bro.
I don't frequent this forum for a few years now but I check in sometimes. I just have to say good on you for "coming out," with regards to your alcoholism.
I think that it's very important for people with a story like yours that they be heard, as that is the story of an addict, and Society needs to hear about things like this as not everyone's gone through it. Only people who have gone through addiction can understand what a person has to go through in order to cure himself of such an ailment especially those who get really deep in it.
It doesn't even have to be drugs, certain behavior patterns, things you beat yourself up for internally, or even culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing can be detrimental to one's overall happiness and experience in making the life that they want to make. In a Jungian sense it means self-actualization, and that life can get in the way of many things you want to enjoy in your life.
It can be all sorts of different types of drugs too, but mainly the important concept to grasp is not one of substance abuse but of personal development. If you're on a path to self-actualization, you will need to get rid of your vices which hold you back. Art of Letting Go of your voices is actually also part of a bigger picture which involves your entire life's work and what your intention is with it. I've learned the you must be really dedicated and also know to forgive and love yourself at the same time. That's the only way to get past some of the worst moments that your life will ever experience oh, and you can really experience a lot even if we aren't human on a soul level but human on only a biological level.
I have to also say that I'm really drunk and high and rambling right now, I'm using Speech-to-Text software, it helps a lot. I feel like this is one of the few ways I can express myself. One important thing to know is that I don't have an addiction to cannabis or to alcohol, but I have experienced opioid addiction and it is no joke (cannabid and alcohol can both be very addictive albeit in SOME ways that arevery different, but having said that), the two years I spent in that downwards-spiral of addiction have taught me a lot and I didn't need to go through it, but maybe some higher power plan for it. I'm not going to go all A.A. cult style on you now, but I just want you to know that you are looked after and that God provides for you even if you don't know what that means...
Yup, good night!
The worst thing in all of this is getting stuck in the hell of your creation.
I think therefore I am and I choose the path of the righteous for I am.
This is a good first step - self-honesty is sometimes hard but ultimately rewarding.
Why don't you start by telling us who you are, Chris? What is the man like who is the best version of you?What are you into?
Nobody should be defined by their problems.
I think therefore I am and I choose the path of the righteous for I am.
That too.
Maybe not for every INFJ, but, I hypothesize, truly. I want to do some research on it for real.
Thank you for your support I am going to make this a positive. Addictions are a way to deflect your existential crisis.
Some pinterest-y thoughts for this thread
Gadsden Mountain Ranch
Community Member
I'm sad to admit I can be a test dumbee for that purpose.
D
Deleted member 16771
I wrote you some Latin maxims with variations based on this theme:
iustus meum electiones sunt - ergo iustus sum
lit. righteous my choices are - therefore righteous I am (my choices are righteous, therefore I am righteous)
iustus meum electionem est - ergo iustus sum
lit. righteous my choice is - therefore righteous I am (my choice is righteous, therefore I am righteous)
I like this, though:
quando iustitiam eligo, iustum fio
quando ego iustitiam eligo, ego iustum fio (if you want to emphasise the 'I')
lit. when justice I chose, just I become (When I choose justice, I become just)
or just:
iustitiam eligo - iustum fio
lit. justice I choose - justice I become (I choose justice - I become just)
iustitiam eligo ita iustum fio
lit. justice I choose, so just I become (I choose justice so I become just)
Not so sure about that, quitting marijuana for a while was necessary for me. That made me more angry with a larger need for acting out, where alcohol to some extent have helped.
Currently looking toward traveling somewhere I can regain excercise -- swimming and weightlifting as a habit.
I'm lucky that there are no physical dependance problems concerning any of this, bu rather prone to habtual behaviour.
Definitely need to get the things i know works on perscription, which is basically weed and mushrooms.
Addiction to exercise takes a few months to aquire. Weed and exercise are two habits that work for many, alcohol is a poor outlet unless you are a weekend hooligan.
Alcoholism is one of those things where weed and mushrooms are known to be highly effective, with healthy and positive use with professional support it is about as likely to be a negative spiral as religion is.
Slippery slope from from AA to ISIS.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_dependence
This prompted me to read more up on what alcoholism is actually thought to be.
And there seems to be a few definitive markers that indicate a medical problem:
#1 don't get sick from drinking.
#2 get physically ill from not drinking.
Very different from the usual hangovers and vomiting when too drunk.
If there is a feeling of, "need a drink, been almost two week", there is a dependance problem without or without alcohol withdrawl syndrom.
English tradition of sober october isn't terrible, but both there and other wine drinking parts of the world there is this about daily drinking in small amounts.
Something that combines poorly with drinking a lot to get wasted. There is quite a lot of cultural difference and confusion.
But according to some of this stuff, everyone that has ever gone, "don't want the festival and daily drinking to be over", or, "would be great sitting on the beach getting drunk for longer rather than beingback home" --- have experienced alcoholism.
Not straight forward, some are culturally conditions for some behaviours rather than others -- not always clear here what is generally considered a problem and what isn't.
The gold standard here seems to be losing friends due to alcohol, getting fired because of alcohol and related problems -- something which doesn't really indicate whether it's weekend drinking or two glasses too many during lunch.
In many parts of the world, getting shit faced on vodka with coworkers and friends, acting out and running around with heated arguments is a way to get to know people -- assuming you start and finish drinking with the same people -- otherwise it kind of doesn't count.
If it's done within socially accepted norms, traditions and customs; there is no alcohol problem. It's when you seek opportunities to drink as the main focus, for discussions and arguments, parties and related things; if this is the focus, there is no alcohol problems --- unelss you are a douchebag or asshole so that one prefers to blame it on alcohol.
So, do you have a medical problems or a personal/social problem with alcohol?
"Drink because people are boring".
"To deal with emotions".
"Helps me forget".
"For inhibition to talk/dance/write".
This prompted me to read more up on what alcoholism is actually thought to be.
And there seems to be a few definitive markers that indicate a medical problem:
#1 don't get sick from drinking.
#2 get physically ill from not drinking.
Very different from the usual hangovers and vomiting when too drunk.
If there is a feeling of, "need a drink, been almost two week", there is a dependance problem without or without alcohol withdrawl syndrom.
English tradition of sober october isn't terrible, but both there and other wine drinking parts of the world there is this about daily drinking in small amounts.
Something that combines poorly with drinking a lot to get wasted. There is quite a lot of cultural difference and confusion.
But according to some of this stuff, everyone that has ever gone, "don't want the festival and daily drinking to be over", or, "would be great sitting on the beach getting drunk for longer rather than beingback home" --- have experienced alcoholism.
Not straight forward, some are culturally conditions for some behaviours rather than others -- not always clear here what is generally considered a problem and what isn't.
The gold standard here seems to be losing friends due to alcohol, getting fired because of alcohol and related problems -- something which doesn't really indicate whether it's weekend drinking or two glasses too many during lunch.
In many parts of the world, getting shit faced on vodka with coworkers and friends, acting out and running around with heated arguments is a way to get to know people -- assuming you start and finish drinking with the same people -- otherwise it kind of doesn't count.
If it's done within socially accepted norms, traditions and customs; there is no alcohol problem. It's when you seek opportunities to drink as the main focus, for discussions and arguments, parties and related things; if this is the focus, there is no alcohol problems --- unelss you are a douchebag or asshole so that one prefers to blame it on alcohol.
So, do you have a medical problems or a personal/social problem with alcohol?
"Drink because people are boring".
"To deal with emotions".
"Helps me forget".
"For inhibition to talk/dance/write".
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You’re right!
Looking back. I was hardly drinking if at all. I forgot some things until recently.
Like, I couldn’t remember why I stopped going to Judo. Well, a spazzy beginner almost broke my knee. So, I took time off.
Work slowed down and I was just bored. Started having a few drinks here and there to stave off the boredom. Next thing I knew my mind frame was in a negative place. It was soooo subtle.
Drinking heavy and every day didn’t happen till after the breakup.
Now I’m back to working out, back to Judo, and have a medical marijuana card. Weed definitely takes away my anxiety and depression.
One interesting thing. Weed heightens my emotional awareness. I sit with the emotions and sadness, heartache all that. It heightens my missing my ex. All this as it is. It’s all viewed positively and there’s so much more healing done during those times. All positive self reflections.
I have no objections with marijuana I am speaking from personal experience. I am overly analytical and deeply self reflective sober, this doesn't give me high levels of anxiety. However when I smoke marijuana I become self hating and paranoid. The substance that gives me clarity and balance is mushrooms. I do believe all substances can be medicinal including alcohol however the problem is not the substance it's the impulse or trigger. If you can identify the reasons for the impulse ie I believe it to be loneliness and boredom in my situation. The remedy is generally the healthy alternative. I went for a long hike into the hills and interacted with sober people I found myself fulfilling that need. I chose a truthful path instead of a short cut the ladder lies in the shadow realm. This is my experience I don't coin myself forever a term "alcoholic" however in identifying the character you have become you can then work toward truth.
I really like this post. I have found myself in the past dwelling on the Maxims of Roman Law
Did you write this, or is it words of wisdom from the roman legal system and principles?
I do however see my chance to properly low ball this with some Norse words of wisdom related to alcohol.
One way to translate this is "the words of the exalted" or simply, "words of the *high*". (haavamaal https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hávamál ).
Not the same class of wisdom perhaps, but makes me smile.
Where a few other ones that are good candidates for a laugh in this context.
Something about drinking beer infront of the fire, slipping on ice, buying a dank stallion, birthin at a home a horse, for a hound that is stiff and stale. Or some such. And "drunk I became, completely plastered, at Fjalar's the enlighetened; the best of drink, carries away the senses of every friend."
The contrast here is quite hmm, yeah, it's pretty low brow wisdom.
And not sure how much stock to take in alcohol-wisdom from a culture and people referred to in Latin as "wine bags" from working in Constantinopel as body guards. Some of which also did this kind of vandalism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runic_inscriptions_in_Hagia_Sophia
But needless to say, if one are doing things with alcohol even they thought were bad; you've gone too far.
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Do you know Khedron? He's one of the characters in Arthur C Clarke's novel, The City and the Stars.
Alcohol is a good servant and a bad master - it can become the blood of Christ or the piss of the Devil. Do you think that alcoholism is a secondary issue - a symptom rather than the fundamental problem? You come across to me over the months as a variety of personas that are like provocatively ill-constructed tulpas. That can be as much an addiction as something more concrete like alcohol or other drugs. It's very entertaining to a spectator
.Here's the rub - are you really are struggling with yourself, using alcohol to cope and creating chaotic interactions around you as a diversion from your inner state? If so then my love and prayers are with you 100% of the way and I wish you all the support and success in the world as you work your way out of these pits.
If on the other hand this is another of your tulpas, then I'll stand back and enjoy the entertainment - if this is so just please, please, please make sure no-one gets hurt.
D
Deleted member 16771
I wrote them, since A Guy mentioned the Cogito so I wondered if he'd appreciate a Latin motto of his own around which to structure his recovery.
I've made use of my own motto for years to a similar end, though I didn't write mine myself.
D
Deleted member 16771
You cautious, John?Do you know Khedron? He's one of the characters in Arthur C Clarke's novel, The City and the Stars.
Alcohol is a good servant and a bad master - it can become the blood of Christ or the piss of the Devil. Do you think that alcoholism is a secondary issue - a symptom rather than the fundamental problem? You come across to me over the months as a variety of personas that are like provocatively ill-constructed tulpas. That can be as much an addiction as something more concrete like alcohol or other drugs. It's very entertaining to a spectator
Here's the rub - are you really are struggling with yourself, using alcohol to cope and creating chaotic interactions around you as a diversion from your inner state? If so then my love and prayers are with you 100% of the way and I wish you all the support and success in the world as you work your way out of these pits.
If on the other hand this is another of your tulpas, then I'll stand back and enjoy the entertainment - if this is so just please, please, please make sure no-one gets hurt.
As far as I can tell, the only damage done to us would be to the short amount of time we've spent on this, which is much less than would be worth risking on the potential recovery of an alcoholic.
It Still Outranks Them All Part 4: Spirituality and Alcoholism
By Fr. Bogdan Djurdjulov
Alcoholism may begin in numerous ways and develop as part of a person’s total life system and style. Alcoholism erodes an individual’s ability to function, physically, emotionally, and spirituality. Alcoholism is not only a major medical problem, it is also a spiritual one. However we may view alcoholism, we in good conscience cannot pass by on the other side as did the Levite but must, like the Good Samaritan, be ready to help heal the wounds of anyone who is suffering.
Spirituality has to do with meaning and purpose and integrates all other aspects of life. To understand spirituality more clearly, a look at the word itself is necessary. It comes from the word “spirit” which means “breath of life.” In the Hebrew and Greek, the word holds two meanings and stand for both “wind” and “spirit.” This is more than an appropriate description for the breath of God. When God made man He breathed into him and made him a living soul (Gen 2:7). We were then invited to share the “spirit;” to have it within ourselves.
Each of us has this spirit within us, this very power of life. Each of us has the capacity (sometimes more and sometimes less), ability, and even a responsibility to project some of our own life and energy into others. Each of us is gifted with the power to literally “inspire” or “breathe into” others. Spirituality has to do with becoming a person in the fullest sense of the word, a journey very much a part of any person’s spirituality quest. St Irenaeus said that the “glory of God is a man who is fully alive.” For the active alcoholic, being fully alive is in too many cases a distant dream. Such a person’s inner resources and sense of well-being have degenerated to a dangerously low level.
Spiritually Bankrupt?
Some in the field of alcoholism describe alcoholics as being “spiritually bankrupt.” I don’t see it so much as a bankruptcy, as a temporary inability to “see” a way out by one’s self. Spirituality has to do with “seeing.” Alcoholism, by its very nature blinds a person from seeing reality. It’s a disease of denial. The alcoholic is taken over by fear, self-pity, guilt, shame, depression, and other destructive and self-defeating behavior. The fact that an alcoholic has become dependent on a mood- and mind-altering drug like alcohol, leaves little room for trust, faith, and reliance on God and other people. The “bankruptcy” exists in the mind of the alcoholic. All around are people who are trying to help alcoholics see what they can’t see on their own. Hope, in my opinion, is one of the last things to go before people abandon ship.
The Scriptures carry the theme that where there is no vision the people perish. Where there is no vision there is also no hope. We have to look beyond ourselves. Alone, we are limited.
Spirituality has to do with Relationships
Spirituality has to do with relationships. Each of us has many relationships. I would like to draw your attention to four broad areas.
We live in a spiritual system of sorts; each relationship affects the other. A person achieves spiritual growth and wholeness through relationships; each relationship affecting another. Growth and action in one area will very likely stimulate growth in another area. Likewise inactivity or apathy in one will probably constrict growth in others. Nothing we do is done in isolation. It does have an effect on other areas of our lives whether we know it or not.
In the alcoholic’s world, relationships are at best “dysfunctional.” Alcoholics are persons with sizable life problems. Their lives are unpredictable and unstable. Active alcoholics are not clearly aware of what they are doing and how it affects others. There is a general tendency towards self-deception, and often this disease has been called a disease of “delusion.” At one time professionals said that alcoholics were “sincerely deluded”—that they really believed that what they were doing was alright and everything was under control. Others, however, could see the real picture of the chronic and destructive nature of the disease of alcoholism. Whenever alcoholics drink, they have given up the freedom of choice.
Blocks to spiritual growth
Spirituality sits at the heart around which all other aspects of our lives center. All other values revolve around a spiritual manner of living. Spirituality transcends the physical and material world.
Alcoholism encircles and controls an individual and often leads to a lifestyle of self-centeredness and rationalizations resulting in a lonely and painful life. A false pride sets in that prevents a recognition of the fact that they are powerless over alcohol, that their life is dominated by alcohol. A “non-spiritual” lifestyle develops, one that is characterized by a movement away from what is moral and ethical. It robs a person’s ability and the capacity for values and beliefs. Because the alcoholic is not able to control what is going on around him or her, fear, worry, and anxiety set in; and hope slowly but surely dwindles.
Healthful and productive ways of thinking are replaced by fear, anger, resentment, dishonest thinking, shame, and guilt. Self-worth is greatly replaced by suspicion and fear. The belief that there is meaning and purpose to life becomes a mere daydream.
A corollary seems to exist that the more a person is feeling shameful and guilty, the more difficulty it is to approach God because of what has happened. Shame has to do with what kind of person the alcoholic has become. Shame is a difficult area to deal with because of its deep roots. Reconciliation is much needed.
The alcoholic’s journey is much like the prodigal son’s. While the alcoholic may think he or she is going it alone, others—family, spouse, children, and friends —are also affected and undergoing a parallel experience.
Spiritual growth
“Spiritual growth is the key to all human growth,” says Dr. Howard Clinebell, a noted professor of pastoral psychology and counseling. This is not a new concept, but it needs to be said again and again. John Macquarrie, a noted theologian, says that “the whole creation is the domain of the spirit.” Our Christian spirituality would be virtually empty without Jesus Christ at the head. It would be like a sail luffing haphazardly in the wind as if it were lost and looking for some direction.
The alcoholic, for whatever reason, has become powerless over alcohol, yet tries ever so hard to keep it under control, not wanting to admit that he or she is truly powerless over its grip. The Alcoholic’s Anonymous Program, which began in the 1930s, understood that first there must be an admission of powerlessness over the drug. This is Step One and the second step is that a “power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity” (see Appendix for the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA). It was very clear to the early founders of AA that there was a way that worked, and it meant having a power greater than ourselves. The philosophy of Alcoholic’s Anonymous and the 12 Suggested Steps of AA are deeply spiritual and have helped thousands upon thousands into a recovery program. The 12 Steps are equally important to family members and other concerned persons. The spiritual dimension is as important to them as it is to the alcoholic. They, too, are in need of healing.
While the 12-Step Program is not a religious program, it is a program that draws from Judeo-Christian teaching. Individuals are left to choose and decide who their God is. Often people involved in the 12-Step Program refer to God or a greater power as their Higher Power or H.P. It is meant with the deepest of respect.
The Twelve Steps and Relationships
Integration of the 12 Steps is a “process.” It is “both/and” rather than “either/or.” Each aspect of the 12 Steps overlaps other steps. Each day is a new learning, and the familiar jargon in AA circles clearly identifies that it is “One day at a time.” Slogans like, “Easy does it,” “Let go, Let God,” “Turn it over,” “Keep it simple” and others point to a positive philosophy of living. It is a philosophy that involves others. It is not something to be done alone. Listed below are what steps relate to which relational aspects.
Steps related to God: 2,3,5,6,7,11 (Notice 6 of the 12 Steps use the word God.)
Steps related to others: 5,8,9,12
Steps related to self: 1,4,5,10
All of the 12 steps are either directly or indirectly related to the world we live in, our environment, the community we live in.
The need for a moral inventory as found in Step 4 and the expressed need of Step 5 “Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs,” are foundation steps in the recovering process. Notice that Step 5 includes three very clear relationships. These steps are certainly similar to the steps we take in preparing for our own confessions. It helps us to move forward —to grow and to see what it is we are working with. A fundamental beginning.
Spirituality is unlimited
One of the things that profoundly influenced me and caused me to learn more about what it meant to be spiritual was my early involvement in the 12-Step Program. As a professional, I have been in the alcoholism field for 15 years. Alcoholism, like other serious illnesses, confronts us with looking at our total existence. Those caught in its grips ask a lot of questions. “Why” is probably the most often asked. It asks us to look at ourselves, and it tests the limits of our faith. One of the things that is clear to me in the “recovering community” is that the nature of spirituality is seen as unlimited in its scope and breadth. Perhaps it is not stated in those terms, but it is clearly evident. Spirituality is at the same time very clear and yet very obscure, it is always present and yet imperceptible. Sometimes it is taken for granted, yet without it, we are left with a hollow. Spirituality is a paradox. The AA Program echoes some similarities. (See in the appendix an excerpt from the chapter in the Alcoholic’s Anonymous, Big Book, Second Edition, “The Professor and the Paradox.”)
Hope
The magnitude that one’s spiritual life plays in the recovery from alcoholism is hard to measure. Yet without it, recovery is often no more than just putting the cork in the bottle with little lasting effect. There is no cure for alcoholism, but the disease is treatable. There is hope. A “spiritual awakening” as suggested in the 12th step of Alcoholics Anonymous takes time.
The most hopeful message that can be given is that our Lord is continually present whether you are the alcoholic or a person concerned about him or her. Restructuring lives is not an easy job, but can start as easily as it did in the beginning of AA with one alcoholic sitting with another alcoholic over a cup of coffee and talking.
Accepting alcoholism as a disease may not be that easy. Accepting another human being with a serious problem who needs help may be less difficult. We are asked to love others as we love ourselves and do unto others as we would have them do unto us. We are asked to love God. The Bible explains it very simply and clearly.
Suggestions for the Priest and the parish community
Appendix
Twelve Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous
Excerpt from “The Professor and the Paradox” Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) 2nd ed, pp. 304-342.
“... Our program and procedures seem to be in many ways contrary to normal opinion. And so, in connection with this idea, let me pass on what I consider the four paradoxes of how AA works. (A paradox, you probably already know, is a statement which is seemingly self-contradictory; a statement which appears to be false, but which, upon careful examination, in certain instances proves to be true.)
By Fr. Bogdan Djurdjulov
Alcoholism may begin in numerous ways and develop as part of a person’s total life system and style. Alcoholism erodes an individual’s ability to function, physically, emotionally, and spirituality. Alcoholism is not only a major medical problem, it is also a spiritual one. However we may view alcoholism, we in good conscience cannot pass by on the other side as did the Levite but must, like the Good Samaritan, be ready to help heal the wounds of anyone who is suffering.
Spirituality has to do with meaning and purpose and integrates all other aspects of life. To understand spirituality more clearly, a look at the word itself is necessary. It comes from the word “spirit” which means “breath of life.” In the Hebrew and Greek, the word holds two meanings and stand for both “wind” and “spirit.” This is more than an appropriate description for the breath of God. When God made man He breathed into him and made him a living soul (Gen 2:7). We were then invited to share the “spirit;” to have it within ourselves.
Each of us has this spirit within us, this very power of life. Each of us has the capacity (sometimes more and sometimes less), ability, and even a responsibility to project some of our own life and energy into others. Each of us is gifted with the power to literally “inspire” or “breathe into” others. Spirituality has to do with becoming a person in the fullest sense of the word, a journey very much a part of any person’s spirituality quest. St Irenaeus said that the “glory of God is a man who is fully alive.” For the active alcoholic, being fully alive is in too many cases a distant dream. Such a person’s inner resources and sense of well-being have degenerated to a dangerously low level.
Spiritually Bankrupt?
Some in the field of alcoholism describe alcoholics as being “spiritually bankrupt.” I don’t see it so much as a bankruptcy, as a temporary inability to “see” a way out by one’s self. Spirituality has to do with “seeing.” Alcoholism, by its very nature blinds a person from seeing reality. It’s a disease of denial. The alcoholic is taken over by fear, self-pity, guilt, shame, depression, and other destructive and self-defeating behavior. The fact that an alcoholic has become dependent on a mood- and mind-altering drug like alcohol, leaves little room for trust, faith, and reliance on God and other people. The “bankruptcy” exists in the mind of the alcoholic. All around are people who are trying to help alcoholics see what they can’t see on their own. Hope, in my opinion, is one of the last things to go before people abandon ship.
The Scriptures carry the theme that where there is no vision the people perish. Where there is no vision there is also no hope. We have to look beyond ourselves. Alone, we are limited.
Spirituality has to do with Relationships
Spirituality has to do with relationships. Each of us has many relationships. I would like to draw your attention to four broad areas.
- A relationship with myself (self), me with me.
- A relationship with others, me with others.
- A relationship with nature (environment), the world I live in, and
- A relationship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit; the most important one
We live in a spiritual system of sorts; each relationship affects the other. A person achieves spiritual growth and wholeness through relationships; each relationship affecting another. Growth and action in one area will very likely stimulate growth in another area. Likewise inactivity or apathy in one will probably constrict growth in others. Nothing we do is done in isolation. It does have an effect on other areas of our lives whether we know it or not.
In the alcoholic’s world, relationships are at best “dysfunctional.” Alcoholics are persons with sizable life problems. Their lives are unpredictable and unstable. Active alcoholics are not clearly aware of what they are doing and how it affects others. There is a general tendency towards self-deception, and often this disease has been called a disease of “delusion.” At one time professionals said that alcoholics were “sincerely deluded”—that they really believed that what they were doing was alright and everything was under control. Others, however, could see the real picture of the chronic and destructive nature of the disease of alcoholism. Whenever alcoholics drink, they have given up the freedom of choice.
Blocks to spiritual growth
Spirituality sits at the heart around which all other aspects of our lives center. All other values revolve around a spiritual manner of living. Spirituality transcends the physical and material world.
Alcoholism encircles and controls an individual and often leads to a lifestyle of self-centeredness and rationalizations resulting in a lonely and painful life. A false pride sets in that prevents a recognition of the fact that they are powerless over alcohol, that their life is dominated by alcohol. A “non-spiritual” lifestyle develops, one that is characterized by a movement away from what is moral and ethical. It robs a person’s ability and the capacity for values and beliefs. Because the alcoholic is not able to control what is going on around him or her, fear, worry, and anxiety set in; and hope slowly but surely dwindles.
Healthful and productive ways of thinking are replaced by fear, anger, resentment, dishonest thinking, shame, and guilt. Self-worth is greatly replaced by suspicion and fear. The belief that there is meaning and purpose to life becomes a mere daydream.
A corollary seems to exist that the more a person is feeling shameful and guilty, the more difficulty it is to approach God because of what has happened. Shame has to do with what kind of person the alcoholic has become. Shame is a difficult area to deal with because of its deep roots. Reconciliation is much needed.
The alcoholic’s journey is much like the prodigal son’s. While the alcoholic may think he or she is going it alone, others—family, spouse, children, and friends —are also affected and undergoing a parallel experience.
Spiritual growth
“Spiritual growth is the key to all human growth,” says Dr. Howard Clinebell, a noted professor of pastoral psychology and counseling. This is not a new concept, but it needs to be said again and again. John Macquarrie, a noted theologian, says that “the whole creation is the domain of the spirit.” Our Christian spirituality would be virtually empty without Jesus Christ at the head. It would be like a sail luffing haphazardly in the wind as if it were lost and looking for some direction.
The alcoholic, for whatever reason, has become powerless over alcohol, yet tries ever so hard to keep it under control, not wanting to admit that he or she is truly powerless over its grip. The Alcoholic’s Anonymous Program, which began in the 1930s, understood that first there must be an admission of powerlessness over the drug. This is Step One and the second step is that a “power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity” (see Appendix for the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA). It was very clear to the early founders of AA that there was a way that worked, and it meant having a power greater than ourselves. The philosophy of Alcoholic’s Anonymous and the 12 Suggested Steps of AA are deeply spiritual and have helped thousands upon thousands into a recovery program. The 12 Steps are equally important to family members and other concerned persons. The spiritual dimension is as important to them as it is to the alcoholic. They, too, are in need of healing.
While the 12-Step Program is not a religious program, it is a program that draws from Judeo-Christian teaching. Individuals are left to choose and decide who their God is. Often people involved in the 12-Step Program refer to God or a greater power as their Higher Power or H.P. It is meant with the deepest of respect.
The Twelve Steps and Relationships
Integration of the 12 Steps is a “process.” It is “both/and” rather than “either/or.” Each aspect of the 12 Steps overlaps other steps. Each day is a new learning, and the familiar jargon in AA circles clearly identifies that it is “One day at a time.” Slogans like, “Easy does it,” “Let go, Let God,” “Turn it over,” “Keep it simple” and others point to a positive philosophy of living. It is a philosophy that involves others. It is not something to be done alone. Listed below are what steps relate to which relational aspects.
Steps related to God: 2,3,5,6,7,11 (Notice 6 of the 12 Steps use the word God.)
Steps related to others: 5,8,9,12
Steps related to self: 1,4,5,10
All of the 12 steps are either directly or indirectly related to the world we live in, our environment, the community we live in.
The need for a moral inventory as found in Step 4 and the expressed need of Step 5 “Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs,” are foundation steps in the recovering process. Notice that Step 5 includes three very clear relationships. These steps are certainly similar to the steps we take in preparing for our own confessions. It helps us to move forward —to grow and to see what it is we are working with. A fundamental beginning.
Spirituality is unlimited
One of the things that profoundly influenced me and caused me to learn more about what it meant to be spiritual was my early involvement in the 12-Step Program. As a professional, I have been in the alcoholism field for 15 years. Alcoholism, like other serious illnesses, confronts us with looking at our total existence. Those caught in its grips ask a lot of questions. “Why” is probably the most often asked. It asks us to look at ourselves, and it tests the limits of our faith. One of the things that is clear to me in the “recovering community” is that the nature of spirituality is seen as unlimited in its scope and breadth. Perhaps it is not stated in those terms, but it is clearly evident. Spirituality is at the same time very clear and yet very obscure, it is always present and yet imperceptible. Sometimes it is taken for granted, yet without it, we are left with a hollow. Spirituality is a paradox. The AA Program echoes some similarities. (See in the appendix an excerpt from the chapter in the Alcoholic’s Anonymous, Big Book, Second Edition, “The Professor and the Paradox.”)
Hope
The magnitude that one’s spiritual life plays in the recovery from alcoholism is hard to measure. Yet without it, recovery is often no more than just putting the cork in the bottle with little lasting effect. There is no cure for alcoholism, but the disease is treatable. There is hope. A “spiritual awakening” as suggested in the 12th step of Alcoholics Anonymous takes time.
The most hopeful message that can be given is that our Lord is continually present whether you are the alcoholic or a person concerned about him or her. Restructuring lives is not an easy job, but can start as easily as it did in the beginning of AA with one alcoholic sitting with another alcoholic over a cup of coffee and talking.
Accepting alcoholism as a disease may not be that easy. Accepting another human being with a serious problem who needs help may be less difficult. We are asked to love others as we love ourselves and do unto others as we would have them do unto us. We are asked to love God. The Bible explains it very simply and clearly.
Suggestions for the Priest and the parish community
- Start a study group on alcoholism and other drugs. Explore what it means to have a disease. Read and discuss books on the subject. Rent a film from your local Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse and discuss your impressions.
- Visit your nearest Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse. If there is not one in your area, contact the National Council on Alcoholism at 12 West 21st Street, New York, N.Y. 10010 or call +1.212.260.6770.
- Volunteer to help your local Council on Alcoholism. They are always in need of help. See #2 for further information.
- Attend a number of “open” Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Any interested person is welcome to attend the open meetings.
- Attend an Alanon meeting. Alanon is a self-help group that serves families and friends of the alcoholic. Insights are shared freely.
- Attend an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. This group serves people who have grown up in an alcoholic or drug-dependent family or system.
- Many AA and Alanon groups meet in churches. Consider opening your doors to these groups. Contact AA World Services at +1.212.686.1100 or Alanon Family Group Headquarters at +1.212.683.1771 for information.
- Sponsor a workshop on alcoholism. The Department of Lay Ministries has a Task Force on Alcoholism and other Drug Dependence. Contact them for a group leader or suggestions.
- Discuss how the 4th and 5th Steps of AA and Alanon are similar to our own sacrament of reconciliation. Seven of the twelve steps of AA are devoted to a restoration of the alcoholic’s ethical and moral life.
- Give moral support and encouragement to programs addressing alcoholism and other drug dependence.
Appendix
Twelve Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous
- Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon AA unity.
- For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
- The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
- Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.
- Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
- An AA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the AA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
- Every AA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
- Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
- AA as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
- Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
- Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
- Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Excerpt from “The Professor and the Paradox” Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) 2nd ed, pp. 304-342.
“... Our program and procedures seem to be in many ways contrary to normal opinion. And so, in connection with this idea, let me pass on what I consider the four paradoxes of how AA works. (A paradox, you probably already know, is a statement which is seemingly self-contradictory; a statement which appears to be false, but which, upon careful examination, in certain instances proves to be true.)
- We SURRENDER TO WIN. On the face of it, surrendering certainly does not seem like winning. But it is in AA Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit “bottom” in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety which we could never accomplish before. We must, and we do, surrender in order to win.
- We GIVE AWAY TO KEEP.* That seems absurd and untrue. How can you keep anything if you give it away? But in order to keep whatever it is we get in AA, we must go about giving it to others, for no fees or rewards of any kind. When we cannot afford to give away what we have received so freely in AA, we had better get ready for our next “drunk.” It will happen every time. We’ve got to continue to give it away in order to keep it.
- We SUFFER TO GET WELL. There is no way to escape the terrible suffering and remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction. There is no new way to shake out a hangover. It’s painful. And for us, necessarily so. I told this to a friend of mine as he sat weaving to and fro on the side of the bed, in terrible shape, about to die from some paraldehyde. I said, ‘Lost John’ ... that’s his nickname ... ‘Lost John, you know you’re going to have to do a certain amount of shaking sooner or later.’ ‘Well,’ he said, ‘for God’s sake let’s make it later!’ We suffer to get well.
- We DIE TO LIVE. That is the beautiful paradox straight out of the Biblical idea of being ‘born again’ or ‘in losing one’s life to find it.’ When all that goes with it, gradually dies, and we acquire a different and better way of life. As our shortcomings are removed, one life of us dies, and another life of us lives. We in AA die to live.”
I'm ambivalent at the moment Hos. I'm cautious because over the time I've been here I have met some good people who are highly sensitive and who seem to have been put off participating in the Forum when things spin out of control into conflict which is always a risk here. Because of the history, I'm not really sure what is going on - so my attitude is to take it at face value, but be a bit wary because it may not be what it seems. There are two possibilities other than face value - one is that it's a wind-up, the other is that the problems are deeper than alcohol which would then be a symptom not a cause and tackling the alcohol issue alone could leave @A Guy without the protection he gets from it. He acknowleges there are difficulties himself:
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Deleted member 16771
I'm inclined to believe that it's always a symptom, though some brain chemistries are predisposed to addictive behaviour anyway... hmm, yeah.
@A Guy has asked for our trust and forgiveness, so it's cautiously given. Hopefully it will be earned in time.