Hypothetical Advice Thread

[slant]

Under the suggestion of Black Swan.

This is where the interesting hypothetical problems are answered, that likely have never had a real resolution thought up for them before! It's entirely possible that these problems are so absurd and unlikely that they have no real solution.

Anyway, post your quite improbable hypothetical problems away here, as we will all try to ponder a creative solution.

 

[Orion]

How do I get out of a room with no door or window?

 

[smiffy]

How do I get out of a room with no door or window?

you use the big hole in the wall!

 

[slant]

Create a teleportation machine.

 

[Orion]

It's an empty room, with no hole.

 

[Faye]

I got drunk the other night and had sex with an alien. He/she/it got me pregnant. Assuming I don't die during birth, what should I do with the babies?

 

[smiffy]

It's an empty room, with no hole.

explosives? how big a room?

 

[AUM]

How do I get out of a room with no door or window?

Dig a tunnel.

New one: Is there a way to save myself if I fall from a 35-floor skyscraper?

 

[Orion]

This thread is shit because it doesn't offer any answers. Fail.

 

[Black Swan]

Anyway, post your quite improbable hypothetical problems away here, as we will all try to ponder a creative solution.

What advice would you give the guy with the crocodile problem?

 

[slant]

I'd tell him to stop sending people down there! The crocodile is obviously eating the animal control people, so he's got to figure out what the animal control people are doing wrong. Install cameras inside of the basement and then send two animal control peoples down... when they don't come back, hurry and get the tape, rewind it, and look to see for the dumbass mistake they keep doing. It's also wise to send down your annoying siblings and or neighbor who always trims on your side of the bush down there, to look at the problem and ask for their advice while you swiftly lock them in there are turn off the videotape so no one knows you purposely killed them....

 

[slant]

Dig a tunnel.

New one: Is there a way to save myself if I fall from a 35-floor skyscraper?

Yes. Wear a parachute.

 

[sassafras]

Without borrowing from the Grinch, and every other film variation thereof, what is your unique way of going about stealing Christmas?

 

[slant]

Killing Mary before she births Christ. It's the only way to eliminate christmas once and for all.

And hey, most religions are defeated at that point too!

Two birds with one stone!

 

[AUM]

Without borrowing from the Grinch, and every other film variation thereof, what is your unique way of going about stealing Christmas?

Destroying Wal-Mart

 

[Ophelia]

Without borrowing from the Grinch, and every other film variation thereof, what is your unique way of going about stealing Christmas?

Brainwash the mases into becoming atheist!

 

[Timeless]

How do I get out of a room with no door or window?

• TNT.
• Take the red pill.
• Jack-hammer away.
• Stay in one corner and let the weight, heat, and pressure on one edge over time deteriorate and weaken the area enough for you to peel the walls off.

I got drunk the other night and had sex with an alien. He/she/it got me pregnant. Assuming I don't die during birth, what should I do with the babies?

• Put them in foster homes in Mexico or Puerto Rico.
• Be the first human-alien parent, and be on Maury and Oprah. Spread the word about extraterrestrial relationships. Make millions.
• Get NASA/ESA Child Support.
• Move to a secluded island and raise them.

Dig a tunnel.

New one: Is there a way to save myself if I fall from a 35-floor skyscraper?

• Landing on a tree's branches.
• Land in trash container.
• Grabbing the edges of the building, hoping to get "hooked" by a flag pole or something.
• Grabbing telephone pole wires.
• Take off your shirt, dress, whatever right away and use it as a parachute to lessen the impact.

What advice would you give the guy with the crocodile problem?

• Michael J. Dundee

Without borrowing from the Grinch, and every other film variation thereof, what is your unique way of going about stealing Christmas?

• Merge Christmas Day with April Fools.
• Call PG&E and every other electrical company and tell them to cut off electricity for the holidays.
• Make congress, states, the UN and world powers ban the color red, green, white, reindeers, and old fat Lenscrafter

 

[slant]

Timeless, did you know that you are fantastic?

 

[Timeless]

Timeless, did you know that you are fantastic?

Thanks! But did you know your avatar reminds me Killzone: The Romantic Era?

 

[Gaze]

How do you close the door on a future century, long before it begins, without ending the world before then?